If there's one thing I always used to feel terrible about, it was having sex with my ex-girlfriend even after she got married. That's been a couple of years now, and for the longest time I didn't regard that as the brightest moment I'd ever had. Alas, things have changed and so has my perspective, and now I have absolutely no shame over that incident or the other probable incidents of sleeping with married/committed women
(I've slept with close to 60 people in the past two years, most of them only once, odds are at least a couple were married).
Anyway, after another person and I had a conversation about that, I've come to the realization that it's not really my fault or the blame is not to be placed on me for incidents like that happening
. If they don't volunteer the information that they're married/committed, or if they do but they insist on fucking anyway, who am I to blame? What's it on me? They're the ones that are cheating, not me.
I'm just single and unattached. Besides, if they're leading me on like that, chances are they'd cheat anyway, so if they're going to cheat it might as well be with me! At least I get some action that way vs. them cheating with someone else; then I get no action.
Now, none of this is to say I'd intentionally lead on a married/committed individual, because I wouldn't. If I knew an individual was married/committed, whether through observation, the grapevine, or they directly tell me they are, I wouldn't dream of trying to convince them to cheat on their partners with me.
As much as I reject the notion of monogamy and think monogamy is totally stupid, if some people want to do things that way, then fine. I can always find someone else. But if they initiate and/or consent without volunteering the information that they're married and/or committed, well, then it's game on.Thoughts?