Monday, 15 October 2012
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I Cheated on Him & He Isn't Angry?
To start off, let me say that I know what I did was wrong.My boyfriend, who I have been with for a little over a year and have a daughter with, is amazing. He loves me to death, doesn't tell me to work, is an amazing dad, and works his ass off to take care of me and our daughter. I am lucky to have him in my life and any girl would be lucky to have him as well.
I cheated on him. Twice when we first started dating with my ex-fiance, and then again the other day with the same person. I did own up to it and tell my boyfriend willingly, but his reaction was just... confusing.
He isn't even mad at me, not one bit. I don't know how to take that. My only problem with him is that he is TOO nice. He never stands up for himself. I am thankful he isn't mad, but I kind of want him to be. I want him to yell at me and tell me what I did was wrong, but he won't.
At this moment in time, I'm not even sure if I want to be with him. I have personal issues of my own that I have been trying to deal with and for some reason, he hasn't been making it any better. I had been planning on staying with a friend so I could sort everything out for myself, but he is begging me to come back.
What the hell is wrong with me and how do I handle this situation?
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Comments (104)
He isn't angry with you for cheating?
Girl...
...that's exactly why you cheated on him.
get your arse into counseling, both individual and couple. and quick.
1. He's cheated on you before.
2. He doesn't love you.
Those are the only options available.
reminds me of that family guy episode.
What guy wouldn't be mad in this situation?
Judging by how you described him, he is probably bottling it all up. Heck, I bet he is furious. Yelling at you won't change anything because you did him wrong already.Just a thought but he is trying his best whole heartedly for you and his daughter but for you to go do that behind his back probably broke his heart.
Probably feels betrayed. Trust is something you don't want to break and you let that happen.
Honestly, good luck because you can't justify what you did by bringing up the fact that he's too nice. You fucked up. Haha
@yeahyeahyeah05@xanga - He has low self-esteem... and I'm sure her cheating on him may just have something to do with it. Probably makes it really easy to work on his self-esteem problem too.
Like @LadyGwenivere@xanga said, counseling miss, you two need counseling. On that note, shop around for the right counselor. They aren't all the same and for it to be truly constructive, you need to find someone that both of you like.
So you've been engaged before, have a child with a guy you've only been with for a year, and you've cheated on him a few times... go on Jeremy Kyle.
Maybe you shouldn't have gotten with him and had his child if you were never over your ex to begin with?
Why are so many people wasteful of a good person! He is a great guy but you just cheat on him. -_-Ughhhhhh.
My ex cheated on me before and I was beyond pissed off. I think that keeping it in isn't a sign of weakness but he just doesn't know how to express himself which is bad because if he's letting it build then eventually he's gonna explode in a violent way. Maybe that's what you want and are trying to get him to act out? I'm not sure but what I do know is that every woman wants to know in some way or another that her man is a man. Whether it's in the bedroom, by sticking up for her, or getting in a verbal argument, most women just want to know that their man isn't a pushover.
It's one thing to cheat on a guy just because he's too nice and you're still connected to your ex-fiance, but it's totally uncalled for and there is totally no excuse for cheating when you have a daughter caught in the middle of all of this.
Several possible reasons:
- he's clingy and or desperate and need somebody no matter what they've done to him
- he's cheating/have cheated on you as well (lol)
- he doesn't love or care about you enough to be angry
What is your problem, you ask? It seems pretty obvious to me.. and you pretty much answered it here
"I have personal issues of my own that I have been trying to deal with and for some reason, he hasn't been making it any better"
You should handle the situation by breaking it up with him for good, no matter how much he begs you to come back. You clearly don't want to be with him and he clearly needs a faithful girlfriend (even if he doesn't realize that)
Cue the million and one dump him...
Ahh fuck, I'm late.
Anyway, stop being a cheating bitch. There's your dose of anger for ya.
You've a good thing and you don't realize that. I hope you will come to that realization sooner than later. It's not always greener on the other side.
You're only hurting your daughter.
Just because he's not showing any hurt, it doesn't mean he's not hurting. He may be hurting inside.
Honestly, this post just makes me mad... I'm sorry to say this, but you don't deserve this guy. You have a lot of growing up to do and you really need to stop playing mind games with him to test whether he will stand up to you. If he ever leaves you, you'll see what you lost. I hope you realize that and start appreciating what you have before it's too late. Your ex-fiance should be irrelevant and completely out of the picture. You have a daughter with this man and her best interest is what you should be worrying about. How about instead of stepping out of your relationship anytime you're not satisfied, you actually talk through your problems and fix them together? I didn't realize that was rocket science. And we wonder why divorce rates are so high...
maybe he's been sick and tired of handling the main job even though he didn't express that he'd like you to help out working,etc, so you admitting that you've cheated is what he wanted to hear, so that you'll feel bad and break up with him first, since he doesn't have the heart to break up with you first even though he knows that you're taking advantage of his niceness. or you're his first love and he doesn't care if you've cheated since you're the mother of his child after all and he's the forgiving type, who fears being alone and is desperate to hold onto you because you give his life purpose*rolls eyes*
Wow shame on you really! He forgave you and you're still mad at him, because he's too nice? What's wrong with being nice? Nice guys make great dads. Mayb you just don't deserve him. If you keep cheating on him it's only gonna make things worse. Don't hold a grudge against him for being mature, forgiving, and loving. Make up your mind and seek counseling please!
You can't control him, but you can only control yourself.
Think about it.
My advice: Do the right thing. For his sake, your sake, and your daughter's as well.
He has low self-esteem and thinks he can't do much better than you. Poor guy. For his sanity I'd advise him to leave.
As for you, just keep being the bitch. Next time you cheat (and you will), make your boyfriend pay for the hotel room as well. If he's fool enough to still be with you, he'll do it!
"I have personal issues of my own that I have been trying to deal with and for some reason, he hasn't been making it any better."
Unless those issues relate directly to him, you shouldn't be expecting him to make you feel better. He can only be supportive-the change needs to come from within you. And if the issues do relate to him, it can be really difficult to manage them together-communication has to really good, and it sounds obvious that it isn't in your relationship. This is another reason you should both seek a councilor together. It will give you both the space to lay out your individual issues and current-relationship issues. Since he seems willing to stick around, and you haven't been direct with him, I hope you ask him to go to couples counseling.My advice would be to talk with him about everything you just wrote here--and to seek counseling together. He sounds like he really wants this to work, and he really loves you. You should be thankful for the husband you have, and start loving him through your mindset and actions. Change your attitude.
We all make mistakes. This doesn't have to be the end of your marriage.
This is so wrong, and you are so bad a person that this can't be true.
So I'm hearing.
"He's a great guy, I SWEAR. But I want to leave him because he's too nice".
You're one of those chics that thinks she doesn't deserve a nice guy. Which is why you're going back to your ex. Let me guess your ex is an asshole? He treats you the way you think you deserve?
I don't see why everyone thinking him being a nice guy, means he's a pushover. Maybe he just doesn't portray his anger that way.