Thursday, 11 October 2012
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Why Do Guys Treat Women Like They're Nothing?
I figure since there are a lot of posts that get submitted like, "Why Do Women Do This or That," I'd make a post for the opposite gender.I can't tell you how many stories I've read where the guy treats the woman like she's nothing. For example, this blog here. Really, I was just appalled by that guy's behavior. Not only did he lie about cheating on her, he lied about getting someone else pregnant, and also tried to blame it on the woman and accused her of doing things, too.
Why do guys treat women that way? If they're not interested in the woman, can't they have the courtesy to at least tell her? It's not "sparing" someone's feelings if you don't tell; you're probably just trying to get away with it for as long as you can. Is it all just some power game where men feel like they need to maintain their "masculinity"?
No but really, I want to know why guys treat women like this. Can someone who has treated a woman this way explain these crude behaviors to me? Although, I'm willing to bet that no guy will admit to treating a woman this way because he knows that he'd have 50+ women on him.
Does any other woman out there want to know like me? Have you been treated this way?
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Comments (55)
Because women let men treat them that way. Only when we women recognize that being single can be actually more pleasurable than spending our days anxiously trying to get men to stay with us... will we be strong.
Really? Most of the post on Datingish are of the why do guys[ insert behavior that 100% of all straight men (and 85% of gay men) exhibit ] type.
Most men don't act like the example you linked. People treat you the way you let them treat you. Did you really read that post? She admitted that she ignored the red flags she was seeing and stayed with this guy despite the fact he basically treated her like crap and then blamed her for it. At some point she should have said enough. The guy was being who he was. She took it for whatever her reasons were. It takes two people to have a dysfunctioning relationship. Guys who act like jerks date women who let them get away with it. The same is true for men who constantly whine that women treat them like crap put up with it or go for the same type of woman again and again..
Why do guys do this, why go girls do that..... it's more so why do people treat other people the way they treat them.
A good relationship is not about control over the other person; it's about being two halves coming together to create one. It's about complimenting each other and bringing the best out of each other. Chances are if one person tries to seize control of another, it's either lack of control or the inability to put your foot down. If you don't want to be treated like shit, make sure you don't. Just also be sure you don't treat them like shit either. If those two actions are not possible, break up and move on.
instead of worrying about what these guys are doing, how about be happy that you can see this, can avoid such guys, and maybe be able to help out other people who could be facing issues with such guys. why point something like this out? do you intend to change all guys to the way you see fit?
anyhow, I agree with the comments above regarding that if the girl allows for the guy to be a jerk, then he can be one
uhhh isn't like every post on here some form of feminist propaganda? i thought the posts yesterday were quite refreshing.
the particular incident you cite is pretty bad, don't get me wrong, but i really think it's the exception to the rule. to answer the question in the title, it's quite simple: i will stop seeing women as warm holes when they start acting like they are worth anything more (i.e. stop expecting me to buy their shit). the only women that really get my gears going are the super independent ones who don't want to play the damsel in distress.
basically, @phoebester@xanga nailed it. (by the way, we should totally hang out sometime.)
Why does it have to be gender specific? I've dated guys that have treated me shitty, and I've dated guys that treat me like I'm the best thing ever. I've also been friends with girls that have treated me shitty, and girls that are super nice and sweetheart-y. It's just the way some people are. To be honest, people treat others how they let them treat them. I dated a guy who treated me like shit at the end of our relationship and it was because I let him do it. When he previously had I would make sure he knew that it wasn't right, but near the end I wanted him in my life so much that I didn't care how rude he was to me, so I let him treat me the way he did. You shouldn't ever give someone the power to walk all over you though.
When I consider how different males and females are when it comes to picking up on the subtleties of interaction, I can definitely say I've treated a few women like nothing emotionally (not fully realizing how harshly insensitive my words were to them at the time), but every woman I've treated like that treated me the same way at one point or another and most often I was only returning their sentiment in the first place. It was never anything as bad as the blog you linked; that's more the guy doing something unsympathetic whereas in my case I was merely being unsympathetic (about her issues, not caused by myself). Ugh, that pic.... she desperately needs a hug.
It happens the other way around all the time. I'm not trying to downplay how unbalanced I know it to truly be gender-wise, just saying I definitely know the feeling.
Shoe's on the other foot with the why do guys do this and that post and they don't like it! ahhh but they like the ones where it generalizes women, funny.
Forgot to log in as Xinq?
Why guys treat guys like they're nothing is another good question to consider (and I'm not referring to romantic relationships). People take other people for granted.
The solution is simple: At some point in their life (early adulthood preferably), everyone should have to go on something similar to an extended Native American vision quest. You can never really appreciate your fellow man or woman until you've felt absolutely alone without feeling lonely. It sounds like hippie bullshit, but I guarantee you there is some science behind it (it sure as hell worked for me), if only the fact that it reinforces one's desire to interact with others in a positive, productive, and compassionate manner whenever possible and to be serious when necessary.
Also, the thought of having 50+ women on me doesn't produce anything close to what I would consider a negative mental image (though I would politely decline). I admitted to it, but my bet is that those 50+ women can almost certainly think of a time they treated a guy (even if they assumed he was an asshole at the time) like nothing while not knowing just how deeply their own crude behaviors effected him.
I can't say that I have been treated that way. I'm usually like the cute spoiled princess
some guys have spoiled me and I've spoiled some of them. spoiling sounds negative. I'll go with pampering instead
I think they melt like butter after they hear my cutesy voice and then see this petite looking girl, who reminds them of a bunny-exactly like my profile pic-and can't do much of anything else besides love me
the universe has been good to me. I think some of them are tone deaf or lovestruck because when a guy annoys me, I might tell him along the lines of I hate him and don't want to talk to him again, but he seems to hear it as, I want you badly. be my sugar puff baby forever
I already mentioned this on another comment lol but I think my guy was hypnotized by my booty shaking/hip action rotatin' and was like...I could look at THAT all day. I like roleplaying, so he loves how I love dressing up in my cute and sexy princess dresses. some of them are showgirl dresses
you can be a moviestar and be adored like a moviestar everyday
don't let anyone treat you less than VIP
don't ride with the donkeys. ride on a high horse
that's how the divas roll
Sweetie, please. For every story you can tell about a guy doing something horrible to a woman, I've got a similar story about a woman doing something horrible to a man. (Yes yes, I know. When a woman cheats, it's because the man drove her away, right?)
To use the example you listed in the linked blog, a guy got some other girl pregnant and then lied to his girlfriend about ever cheating in the first place. Well, my friend Chuck and his girlfriend were about to have a baby together, until she was 8 months pregnant and decided to confess that the baby was actually his best friend's. Crazy, huh?
Sweetie, please stop the man-bashing. (This goes for the rest of Datingish as well) As much as you hate to admit it, you and every other straight woman out there need men just as much as we need you. Not all women are clean and virtuous, not all men are honorable and loyal. Your only option is to learn which men are good for you here and now, and which ones need more time to mature.
"Why do I, and everyone I love, pick people who treat us like we're NOTHING?" "We accept the love we think we deserve." Pretty sure that's not how it happened in the movie, but I like the trailer sequence better. And it answers your question. [The Perks of Being a Wallflower]
http://youtu.be/aog8680PVmU
That guy is probably a psychopath or sociopath. Lots of them exist out there. People who can't empathise or really feel emotion, and who thrive off damaging others. They believe everyone else is the same as them and think it's their victims 'fault' for being so stupid as to allow themselves to be treated that way. Live and learn. I just need a picture of a soft cat now...
I treat girls like they're nothing because that's what is positively enforced. The moment I show an ounce of being a decent human being, her vagina gets drier than Death Valley. Why are there so many dirtbags in the world? Because women keep sleeping with them. It's a sad day indeed when kindness becomes a character flaw.
People are treated badly because they LET themselves be treated that way. Note I say "people", not "women". It's not gender specific.
I agree that when a woman complains no one is there bashing men in general. lol
Funniest thing watching some of you condemn a girl for becoming the girlfriend of a guy when she was confused about her feelings. And this guy blatantly lying to a girl, cheating on his pregnant girlfriend, somehow isn't responsible, she is. Because she let him lie to her lolWell there are 2 possible answers IMO..
1, because women let guys treat them badly..
or 2.. thats what his parent's marriage was like.. Think about it.. if a guy growing up sees his dad treat women like dirt, and the women don't do anything about it.. then that guy is going to grow up thinking that behavior is totally acceptable. This goes the other way for women as well.
It may be true that she let him in some cases but let's see...if a guy raped me it's because I let him? Then it wouldn't be rape now would it? I wasn't wearing promiscuous clothing, I still had myself covered up. Then again I didn't let him. I kicked him off me before he could do anything to me and I pretty much told him to get bent by kneeing him.
@TaleOfAScale@xanga - The girl's already in so much pain let's just make her in more pain by saying it's her fault, right? lol. I agree, sometimes it isn't the girl's fault.
Although for me, when I saw any signs of a guy that thought he could toy with me like that, I immediately dropped him before he could do any more damage. I don't have a high tolerance for guys like the one mentioned in the OP. A guy not man/men, tried to contact me when he was with another girl, I didn't bother to respond.
And for any guy that responds saying women do this, too -- then why don't you stop generalizing women with other traits when everything is found in both traits?
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - Hi, Dr_Jeecheroo
http://www.datingish.com/768599831/why-are-most-women-so-hostile-towards-guys-with-social-anxiety/
You forgot to post on your Chibi name when you submitted that one. You think I can't tell that's you? Lol, as if you're one to talk about other people posting on different screen names. Look in the mirror, hypocrite. You probably think a lot of the anon posts are me but they aren't. I'd put my name and take credit for if a post was mine you delusional douche bag. I'm all about giving credit where credit is due. Shut up already you fucking cunt.
P.S. Just because you have a medical condition called asperger's doesn't give you the right to be a hypocrite. You want to dish it out, be prepared to be flamed back.
@sunflowersforlove@xanga - Did you not read the first line? It's gender specific in retaliation to all the posts made by guys generalizing women. JFC.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - I probably won't get a reply from you about being Dr Jeecheroo but we all know that's you. You forget to log in as Chibi?
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - You're the type of troll that dishes it out but then runs when your ass gets handed back to you. Get over yourself. You have no room to tell anyone they attack members on xanga or sign in under other names when you do the same and are much worse about it.
A better question might be, why does every datingish poster EVER hang out and date assholes, then submit posts saying they are SHOCKED that these assholes were assholes to them?
@WaitingToShrug@xanga - i want you to know i *still* laugh at this classic quote by you: "i need my daily fix of WTF."
so i mean like...if we didn't have posts by these idiots, you wouldn't have your daily fix, right?