My story starts back in 2008. I was in broadcasting school looking to get a degree that would allow me to break into the radio business. While there, I met and worked with a young woman that was also in my class. I immediately thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes on. Just by looking at her, I assumed that her and I would have next to nothing in common; but boy was I wrong!
Towards the end of our time in class, we started talking and I was very shocked to find out that we had tons in common. I finally got up enough courage to ask her if she wanted to hang out. Once again, I was shocked when she said, "Yes."
Before I knew it the class was over with, and we were all on our own to look for work. I haven't kept in touch with many people from the class since. I did some color work for a college basketball team with a guy from the class and I worked videography at a wedding with another, but she's the only person I've hung out with from the class. She's also the only person from the class that I've done something with since.
We've talked pretty recently. On holidays, like New Years, it can sometimes get a bit weird. On New Years a few years ago, she told me that we should get married, since we have so much in common. The New Years after that she was very flirty again, as her text was full of "x's" and "o's." I'm a smart guy, and realize a drunk text when I see one. But I wonder if those texts, in particular, were full of hidden truths that she would not tell me unless she were a bit tipsy.
Well, in June of 2011, I found that I had a text from her. When I read it I could have been bowled over by a feather: she was pregnant. Not only that, but she told me that the guy who was the father of the baby was someone she worked with, and that when he found out she would not have an abortion, he left her.
I was supportive and always there for her during this time and we were talking almost daily. On Christmas Eve I sent her a text wishing her a merry Christmas. I didn't get an answer until a few days later when she told me that she had given birth on Christmas Eve.
We continued talking, and continued hanging out. The asshole who left her made her and her son get a DNA test to verify that the kid was his, and she asked me to go to that with her. Every time I'm with her things just feel... right. I wish I could explain it better, but things just feel right when I'm around her. We have so much in common, and think the same way about a bunch of things.
I don't want to be melodramatic, but I've wondered if we're soulmates, if such a thing is real. Whenever I drop her off and leave her house, I feel something hanging in the air. It's so thick I can cut it with a knife. Yet here I am, not knowing what to do.
We have such an amazing friendship, and I don't want to mess that up. I also can no longer ignore these feelings that I have for her. As you can tell, she's had trouble with men in the past. I could go into other examples of men from her past who have lied to her about all kinds of things. One man was carrying on a relationship with her while he was married. Another one was cheating on her on the weekends.
She's had trouble with men, and it is completely justified that she has trust issues. I've tried to be there for her; to show her that I'm different from those guys. I don't know if she sees it or not, I just know that I think she's amazing. She's smart, funny, completely gorgeous, and I don't know what she'd see in a guy like me. There's the catch. We're great friends, but I can't think of a reason why she'd want anything more than a friendship with me. That scares me to no end.
I don't want to ruin a friendship just because I want more than a friendship. At the same time, I don't want to miss out on a potentially great relationship we could have just because I'm afraid to say something.
Do you guys have any advice?