I've been cheating on my boyfriend with a female. Never in my life have I ever been attracted to the same sex, nor would I say that I am attracted to females, but I am attracted to her. We, well I, started emotional cheating. Now, obviously it has escalated to physical. At the time she seemed really into me. Now things are weird between us after I told her that my boyfriend and I broke up. I did not tell her that we are somewhat back together (things just got hard for him being that we are living with each other).
I feel like breaking up with my boyfriend... well, both of them, actually.
I don't feel like being with either, and I'm only with them for my own self-needs and desires. I haven't stopped talking to or seeing her, knowing damn well that I should. I just feel so badly for my boyfriend who honestly has no idea what's going on.
I feel like breaking it off with the both of them and figuring out what it is that I want for myself.
Any advice?
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Comments (32)
it seems like she knows about your bf but what's really her stance on things between you and her? is she wanting to commitment with you? if that's the case, I can see why awkward but if it's not, then you're letting the guilt of you cheating on your bf get to you
so for one perspective to consider out of thing, and yes probably wrong to bring this up, is has your bf ever considered a 3 some? have you consider it? how about her? I get this feeling you won't be comfy with the idea but just an idea to put out there
overall, good luck with the guilt you're feeling regarding cheating on your bf, he could think and feeling differently than how you maybe considering all of this but suggestion is to see how the other girl thinks and feels first, then maybe you can gauge things better
girls seriously piss me the fuck off.
Exploring your sexuality isn't an excuse to cheat on somebody, the moment you wanted to do stuff with her you should have broken up with him. I say, don't go for either and figure yourself out before this happens again.
@tictact0e0@xanga brings up a good point.
What you consider "cheating" could very well be the sexiest thing he has heard in a long time. Like I always say, rules exist for ends. If the means justify the ends (for everyone involved, including him) I'm all for breaking the rules.
I also empathize with @TheNotoriousGOD@xanga on this. You can't really hate them though for not knowing any better.
This is how you do it. You tell them the truth. Either they'll be OK with it or they won't. There are plenty of people who are OK with an open relationship. If either of them are looking for a committed relationship with you, they have the right to know that you do not want the same thing. They definitely have the right to decide whether or not they want to stick around with you while you "figure things out".
Experiment on your own time, not on his time. You're hella trampling his heart.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - What she said.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - you knowingly have sex with females, who are in relationships, and you're proud of it since you previously said that it is "no big deal." so you help them cheat and feel no guilt, yet you are pissed when others do it?! hypocritical slut.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - couldn't have saied it better myself. there are three people involved in this. Tell them all, let them deal with their feelings and you deal with yours. I can't predict the conclusion of this situation but at least it will be honest.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - i don't give a shit about the cheating; it pisses me off that she's leading not one, but TWO people on.
Stop fucking with people's feelings and be single.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - whether she or you are leading on one or two or three, you still proudly participated in cheating = deception. it doesn't discount the fact that you did something of no integrity by being an accomplice.
you don't give a shit about robbers, but it pisses you off that the robbers stole not one, but two items. yeahhhuh...
You answered your own question. Break up with them both and tell them the truth why. Especially the boyfriend because it sounds like you haven't told him about your experimentation. Sometimes you have to take time for you and this is better for them as well.
@ShirleyD@xanga - hahaha i use the word "hella" a lot, and every single time i say it to a new person, i get asked if i'm from california. so fucking offensive!
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - okay, you clearly misunderstood me. the "two" wasn't where she crossed the line, it was that she's leading someone on, and that's wrong. it just made it worse that it is two people.
i'm not an "accomplice" in anything. it's not my responsibility to safeguard anyone else's relationship. if a girl chooses to cheat on her boyfriend, that's her decision, not mine.
The best thing you could do now is just find yourself. You obvious seem very confused about what's going on in your life. So instead of going back and forth between the two, which could cause even more pain, maybe the best thing you can do your yourself and everyone involved is to take a step back and figure yourself out first.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - you're leading people on by proclaiming that you're "honest" when you clearly participate in deception and deny anything to do with it because it isn't your "responsibility." what you're saying is that you don't give a shit about personal integrity because you're so desperate for sex that you're willing to be someone's side-whore. okay you have no "responsibility" but you're still a side-whore. it is worse that you're a proud side-whore.
What do you want sweetie..., I recommend that you should go talk to a therapist.., or pchy
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - mm-hmm, and which part of that involves deception? without making assumptions or personal insults, if you are even capable of doing so.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - you self incriminated yourself all the time. there are no assumptions. do I have to link that onelb girl's link again where she called you out on how you string girl's along with your lines. you are an accomplice no matter how you try to weasel your way out of it. you helped the criminal hide the weapon. it isn't a personal insult if you got that name yourself by knowingly sleeping with taken people. you're sneaking around with the cheater yet you don't think that you're playing hide and seek. sneaking around is deception. uhuhuh, having sex with taken people "doesn't" involve sneaking around-_-
If you "feel like breaking it off with both of them," then that's probably what you should do, right? It's your life, you're in charge of it. Simple.
lololololololololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rub some brain cells together.
I feel like you definitely shouldn't be with either one. And you probably should find a new apartment. Not being mean, but you shouldn't do that to either party. Tell them the truth, and let the chips fall where they may. But your situation definitely needs to change.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - no, much like you, she *also* called me out on her own assumptions, which you assumed i didn't clear up with her in pm. get over yourself. and, despite what you continually think, i do NOT deceive anyone, i am completely straightforward about not wanting anything serious with ANY girl with whom i hook up.
but, since you seem pretty content with getting angry at people on the internet, i'll just let you be. have fun.