I recently started using Zoosk.com (an online dating website) and it's been alright. I've gotten a lot of messages (it's great for a self-esteem boost). I had a guy who had messaged me and he seemed really nice, so I thought, "Why not?" and I gave him my cell number. We have been texting back and forth for a little while now.
This man lives in the same city as I do, but
I can't seem to meet the guy in person, because I get too nervous to actually go out.
Over texts, he seems so nice, except he uses so much sweet talk that it makes me wonder.
He says lots of corny things like, "If you held 11 roses and you looked in a mirror, you would see the 12 most beautiful things in the world." He's also constantly saying, "I'm thinking about you" and even sending me pictures of flowers to, as he says, "Make a beautiful angel smile."
To me, it seems a little excessive.
My question is this:
If a man says a lot of corny/sweet things, is it sincere or is it just a front?Could this possibly just be some way for him to get what he wants? Or do you think that he is just overly serious about wanting a relationship?
I don't know quite know what to do.
He seems nice and I don't want to be rude or hurt his feelings, but sometimes some of the things he says makes me embarrassed for him.
So please, can I have some advice?
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Comments (28)
vom.
you're obviously not into the guy, just tell him he came on a little too strong and leave it at that. easy peasy.
i am glad to see that girls get a self-esteem boost from online dating at the expense of the guys'. i can't think of anything that has has ever been so bad for my self-esteem.
good thing i'm such a cocky motherfucker.
This is why I don't understand online dating. Some of it works out awesome, but for the most part people are either looking for just a casual thing or they're are so desperate for a relationship they'll say anything and everything and go for just about anyone. Not to say you're just anyone, but a lot of my friends have recently joined dating sites, they're attractive girls, and they are going out with the most ridiculous guys (looks and personality wise). When guys act like that with me it always just seems so over the top. I'm not an affectionate person though so eh to each their own. He might really be genuine, but if you don't like it then you shouldn't go for it.
@sunflowersforlove@xanga - I think it depends on how you use the site. I keep an active OkCupid profile because meeting people is interesting, but I'm really picky about who I agree to go on "dates" with. So far I've agreed to maybe two people total - one didn't show, and the other I've seen three times total so far. It might help that I'm not primarily seeking romance, though, and have no problem passing on people that don't seem completely up to my, um, standards. (It's pretty easy to weed out the the desperate and the people seeking casual sex once you get used to it.)
@OP: Ehhh. I don't think this is "too sweet" as much as "too strong" and possibly "preemptive." I used to get texts like that from my boyfriend, and I just thought those were sweet... but we'd known each other for years and had already started dating when he sent them. If someone I met online and hadn't met in person sent them to me, it'd be incredibly off-putting and would probably lead me to cut contact.
some sexy guy messaged me. I thought he was using fake pictures because he seemed too good to be true, but he sent me a few vids directly talking to me, so I knew it was him. normally I'd find blowing kisses lame, but he blew me a kiss and I nearly fainted
okay, I was busy giggling
before I knew it, we were dirty talking and stripping bucknaked
omg he's soooo hot. we didn't quickly have sex or anything because that would personally ruin the excitement for me as I love being teased. he was the ideal person to tease with. he didn't mind my teasing, because he thought I was hot, too. it was mutual. he would usually accuse me of thinking about him by saying..."I know you've been thinking about me
" normally, I'd roll my eyes at this, but he made me laugh, because damn, he's too HOT!!!!! he's half black-my favorite caramello chocolato
I haven't really known young men or guys around my age, who I'd consider "too sweet." usually the older and/or not so attractive guys would go out of their way to say sweet things to me. they either genuinely mean it/romantics or they've mastered the art of manipulation and know just what to say in order to convince naive women into their basement of love*yipes!*. who really knows. each situation is different.
He hasn't even met you yet so yes that's a bit over the top, in my opinion. Maybe if he had met you then it would be lovely :)
@isitreal_no@xanga - What she said.
He may or may not be being sincere. Only he really knows and if you want his answer, ask him. Honestly, I would find that nauseating coming from my husband. If a guy I just meet on an on-line dating site was saying stuff like that, I'd lose the temporary phone number that I gave him. Would you think he was too sweet if you thought he was hot? If he were the type of guy you wanted to be showering you with attention, would you be feeling embarrassed for him? Tell him you are not interested, and move on to a guy that isn't "too sweet" for you. I am sure this guy is a "big boy" and won't die because you reject his advances and he'll move on to the next girl. You can work on finding someone that you are actually interested in.
If I heard that from a stranger or someone Im not interested in.. i'd tell them to go fuck themselves. I roll my eyes at couples on Facebook who comment cheesy lines to one another. I gag when my friends post their corny love convos on instagram.. it makes me sick. I hate cheesy. BUT hearing them from a guy I'm currently hooking up with is different.. completely different.. ha! If your turned off now, its not a good thing. Cheesy comes after getting to know someone.
In texts, since he hasn't met you, it's kind of weird. Plus when guys usually do that they are creepy and just wanna bang you. At least that's been my experience. Because they don't even know me as a person and they're reciting poetry to me!!! Awkward.
So I think that if a person is sweet and saying super cheesy things to you AFTER getting to know you more, as you're dating... that makes more sense and is acceptable! Then it won't feel weird as you're feeling now.hahaha.. i like a good cheese but can't take cheesy with anything..
he may just be a guy with little imagination who tries to be nice..my suggestion: don't drop him yet, get to know him a bit better - he may be a keeper (slick guys are not always your best friends..)don't tell him to cut the cheese :)) (that will scare him :)just play along like nothing happened and see where he goes
You've not even met him yet, which makes it suspicious. Even if you HAD met him, I'd find that really OTT. I had an ex who was really OTT like that and it was cute for about two weeks, and then it was just clingy and possessive and I hated it. If you're having second thoughts now, it won't get better. Tell him he's coming on too strong and if he doesn't understand, block his number and move on.
"If you held 11 roses and you looked in a mirror, you would see the 12 most beautiful things in the world."
LOLSometimes the corny shit comes from a guy who just wants to get into your pants (probably most of the time if it's coming from dudes over the age of 21)...
Other times it's coming from dudes who are genuine... Genuine white knights... And that's a problem because he pedestalizes you.
This kind of stuff should be a red flag for a chick.Too much. He's desperate.
It's okay once in a-while. If it's a LOT, then he may be bone desperate, and I'd be careful of that. If he's the guy above in the photo. Take his skittles already and run ! Φ ≡
hahaha. This guy sounds like a fucking idiot!!! The best part is that douche bags like this think they are being smooth! It's hilarious! I bet if you have sex with him he will have Micael Bolton playing in the background!
I'm not sure if I should commend you or laugh at you for not doing something about this.
So, I'll explain both.
I would commend you for not laughing at him immediately and telling him what a cheeseball he is. Good for you for recognizing his cheesiness, but thinking about it before cutting communication. Also, thank you for sharing this because it's hilarious...not your situation, I'm sure you really are looking for help, but that the guy is reciting cheesy lines like this.
I'm laughing at you (or with you if you're laughing too) as I'm imagining these cheesy texts coming to your phone and you making embarassed faces, laughing and trying to decide what to respond with (if at all) that will not hurt his feelings, but will not show that you're interested in these sweet/cheesy lines.
Just be honest, tell the guy this doesn't do it for you..
Actually. I wish my boyfriend sent a cheesy comment my way.
Red flag.
Sweet talk = sucking up = just wants in your pants/face,Really though. Do not trust a guy who says things that are sweet but also corny.EVERit's possible to be too sweet. it's also known as being a pussy.
LOL WOW!!! I am a big ass CheeseBall myself!!!!! However I know who I am cheesy too lol I am now starting to second guess if my cheesiness really makes her smile a sincere smile or an OMG this bitch is retarded lol I send her Daily 2 texts when I KNOW shes about to be stressed to the max from work the same line! "Hey beautiful, Smile, I am thinking about you!" and usually along with that say something like hope your day is going well or whatever the situation maybe. But I do that so she knows Hey she IS on my mind!!!!! An she usually responds with either a cheesy line back or telling me I always tell her to smile at the perfect moment before she snaps at customers!!! I am also the kinda girl that is VERY romantic! "IN MY OWN LIL WAY" Like my ex that I still AM NOT OVER 100% on our first date LITERALLY we went camping her 7yr old daughter and my 1yr old son her and I!!!!! Stayed the entire weekend BY FAR THE BEST 1ST DATE EVER!!!!!!! I dont know the point in me writing a comment on this post other to say WOW thanks for the eye opener..... I wont be so corny and see if she has a heart attack over it or not lol
You're just already scared. Meet in public place if you dont like him...seeya!
Does it matter how sincere he's being if you won't actually meet him in person? Not like he can do a pump and dump via text.