Monday, 08 October 2012
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Playing Hard to Get vs. Not Being Interested
A while back a friend of mine asked me this question, "What's the difference between playing hard to get vs. not being interested?"I had to think about it for a few minutes.
Well friend, playing hard to get is waiting for someone to make the first move, but they might be interested in you in the future. And not interested means not interested for now maybe, or never. You're sitting by the phone, it doesn't ring; you can't really tell if it's hard to get or rejection can you?
I've always been a go-getter. I don't wait by my phone for for people to call me. In fact, one of my friends has told me that I should wait for the guy to call me because she notices that 99% of the time I do the initiating.
No way.
If someone was really interested in another, they wouldn't be playing the waiting game and will go after what they want and they don't care how many days it's been since you've first met the person you're interested in. That's just my take.
What do you think: Is there a difference between playing hard to get and not being interested? What are the main differences?
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About the Author
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- From: xinq@xanga
- About Me: Insulting people personally isn't considered having different opinions to me, that's just being an ignorant bully. Don't get criticism and hate mixed up. Don't waste my time insulting me if you're just going to leave one comment, because I will call you out on it. I love how haters think they are so "tough" when all they do is leave one comment but then don't come back when I own them. Yeah, so "tough" they are. Here's a funny pattern I noticed, the people who hate me defend people who are considered jerks to 98% of this place while they bash people who volunteer, give their friends places to stay, and don't need material things to be validated. If I was the "horrible" person that they claim that I am, would I really do that? YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY AMAZING? I JUST FOUGHT OFF 10 ARROGANT TROLLS WHO POST UNDER MULTIPLE NAMES ALL BY MYSELF. NOW THAT'S AMAZING. Real winners are those who are able to fight their own battles. :) #imtheonewhohasbraggingrights
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Comments (19)
Is the question at the end of this real?? You had to think about the difference between playing hard to get and not being interested? Wow.
1. Playing hard to get is not the same as waiting for someone to make the first move. Waiting for someone to always make the first move will leave you very lonely.
2.
Playinghard to get is pretending not to be interested in someone in hopes to not look desperate or that it will make the other person somehow more interested in you because you are not interested in them. Such childishness will also leave you lonely.
3. Not being interested is not being interested in the other person. Not, not interested for now, but ever. If people didn't play games there would be no confusion between this person might actually hate my guts and I need to work harder to get their attention.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - For the record, that last sentence was not written by me, so watch your tone. I wrote everything else in the entry except for the last sentence. Datingish added that for some reason even though there was no need.
There are differences, like I said...can you tell if someone's just not interested in you now or they're just playing games because they like the chase they say no for now but will say yes for later? Hmm?
@xinq@xanga - If someone is acting like they are not interested, then I move on to someone else. It doesn't matter if they are interested or not. I don't waste my time trying to tell.
I figured the question at the end was not yours. I always find myself asking the same question because datingish keeps coming up with ways to top their dumb questions.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - Thanks for understanding, same here. Most of my posts I've submitted haven't needed any edit so I was confused as to why this one was. Yeah, definitely makes some posts sound wrong if they aren't edited right. Some guys I have met before like reject me when I first meet them but they'll get back to me out of the blue after I thought they fell off the face of the earth. It's so weird and interesting to find that they still have my number after some time has passed.
@xinq@xanga - I've always been a go with the flow kind of person. If that happened to me, I'd just pick up on cues that I get from the guy and take it from there. I know there is this silly rule book that says a guy should call you within 3 days if he is interested, but only the guy can tell you his reasons. In my experience, the guy is either seeing a bunch of other women for whatever reason or trying to come up with the perfect things to do or say. When you are young and dating, it should be about having fun, not constantly trying to figure the rules, the motives of the other person, etc.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - you always say the things that make the most sense on posts!
"When you are young and dating, it should be about having fun, not constantly trying to figure the rules, the motives of the other person"
Thanks for reminding me of this! I struggle with dating because I think if someone likes you they will take the intiative and catch up with you. I'm always overanalysing everything. Though I think you're right about a guy either seeing other women or figuring out what to say.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - I never follow the unmentioned rules in anything -- not even playing blackjack, I just always do what I think is right or how I feel at the time. If I followed the rules I'd be a pretty lonely person for sure. Definitely hate the 3-day wait gig. That doesn't guarantee anything at all.
I try not to make my friends unhappy. Sometimes it happens though.
I don't get it... if you're not interested, if I'm not interested I don't talk to the person. I let them know I am not interested. Hard to get is playing games pretending to be indifferent about the other person when you're really into them?
I dunno. Why can't people just like each other, tell them, and be together? Make life easy.I too have been the one to text after a date saying I enjoyed myself. If I like someone, I can't contain my happiness. lol. :)avoid both at all costs! haha.
If someone wants to pretend they're not interested, I just move on to someone else, because I figure they're just too immature for a relationship. Why pretend that you're interested when you are interested? I don't get it.
@daydreams_nightmares@xanga - unfortunately guys and girls alike are like that. they probably think it'd get too boring if they were able to catch someone right off the bat or something but i never liked these games either.
Yeyeyy I love girls who go get what they want, fuck the stupid sexist stereotyping. I am finally trying to chase a guy, it's scary, if I get rejected there aren't any other prospects, I'm so fussy.
Playing hard to get means you are interested. That's the difference.Hell yes! i agree 100%
the difference is playing hard to get is feigning a lack of interest, whereas not being interested is truly not being interested.
in other words a difference is perceived only if you are a bad actor. it is a bad double standard. personally if you show lack of interest, your motivations are irrelevant and disengaging.
I didn't even think people still played "hard-to-get."
I just assumed they were prudes.
there is a fine line to play when you're making moves as a girl. it's super important to give positive feedback to the guy so that he knows he's getting somewhere. but on the other hand, try not to be too forward, as that can be perceived as aggressive or clingy. for example, one girl started texting me every night after our second date, and i was like...wow this is NOT gonna work out. i do expect some initiative on a girl's behalf after the second date though, third at the absolute latest. after that, i cut my losses and move on.
by the way, a small amount of games is necessary. people don't want things that are too easy, and whether or not girls want to admit it, they appreciate the challenge of earning a guy's interest more than they want to let on.
Your "About Me" is ridiculous, but actually tells us a lot about who you are.
@testyman666@xanga - That's the whole point of the About Me section, duhhhh. It sure does tell a lot and I am SOOOO glad you've noticed testyman. I hope you got the message that if you think you can insult me for what I think, that's not going to change my opinions. Quite frankly there's been a lot of posters around here who can't simply ignore an opinion they dislike they have to start a flame war. If I see an opinion I dislike, I simply ignore it, or I put up civil points as to why I disagree with someone, because insulting me the way I have said people do insult me in my About Me, won't get you anywhere. And if you're offended by what I write publicly, you should hear some of the things I keep to myself. :)
And I also love how you haven't answered my blog, you just noticed the About Me, LOL!
It is pretty ridiculous I agree that people start insulting people just because they can't maturely agree to disagree with an opinion.