Sunday, 07 October 2012
Going through a divorce or break up can be a very traumatic experience. Sometimes the break up is unexpected and it creates a feeling of shock, then there is the inevitable lingering sense of loss in your mind. It's tough to concentrate on positive emotions when all the plans and dreams that you made with your ex have been destroyed. You're left with an empty void in your life having spent so much of your time together, and now you have to face the music and tell your friends and family that you are no longer a couple.
If you still feel the two of you have a chance of getting back together, see my article on getting back with your ex. Otherwise, read on.
Getting over a break up doesn't have to be this tough though. Follow the simple guidelines in this article and let me take away some of the uncertainty and stress for you. By going through this process, you are actually going to come out the other side feeling a stronger and better person than you did before. It may not feel like it now, but in the future you will look back and see this time as the beginning of the 'new you'.
It's OK to Grieve
You need to accept that it is perfectly natural to want to grieve over your loss. If you want to cry, go right ahead. This is all part of the healing process, and the sooner you start, the sooner you will start feeling better. If you deny yourself the right to grieve now, it can result in suppressed emotions coming back to haunt you in the future.
Lean On Your Friends and Family
Don't try and carry this load on your own, and don't for one minute think that there is anything to be embarrassed about. We've all been through break ups at some point in our lives, and this is the time to get some of that much needed comfort and support from your friends and family. Whether it be going out with your friends or just having someone patiently listen, it can make a huge difference. The worst thing you can do at this point is to hide away and dwell over these negative feelings on your own.
Meet New People and Start New Hobbies
It's tempting to take the easy option and just stick with what you are comfortable with, but the best thing for you is to get out and about. Starting a new hobby will break the routines that you had with your ex, and also give you the opportunity to meet lots of people. Meeting new people is a great way to improve your social skills and confidence, and you may just meet your future boyfriend or girlfriend! If you are stuck for ideas, why not try something new for 30 days.
You Are Free!
Take advantage of the freedom you have. Think about all those things that you wanted to do with your ex, but couldn't.
Alcohol And Drugs
Alcohol or drugs may seem like a quick fix to your unhappiness, but be warned that once the effects have worn off then you will feel even worse afterwards, and you are just delaying the inevitability of dealing with those emotions!
How do you deal?