Back in Jr. High, my friends and I were almost always in a "relationship." Sneaking hugs and holding hands when teachers weren't looking, writing notes back and forth all day in class, and hanging out in large couple groups at the ice rink or movies on the weekends were what life and love were all about back in those days. And one more thing, the mix CD.
I don't know if this is a universal thing (I assume it is), but all of us made mix CDs for each other, be they love, just good sharing of music, or otherwise. I myself made mix CDs like they were going out of style (hey look what happened) and I think at one point I had about 16 just of my own (old school playlists). I had a habit of making CDs for boyfriends and they would almost always have a few love tracks thrown in.
Even though a few of the guys I dated were in the same friend group (because we all were) I figured the last thing they discussed were the track listings to the Mix CDs I had given them, so yes, there were some repeats. The funny thing was that a few of my girlfriends did this so exchanging mixes was a commonplace ritual between all of us. Every couple had "their song" which was really more like one of us girls saying something silly like, "OMG this song is just like us and really reflects my feelings for you" and the guy likely replying, "Yeah I like this song."
Regardless, as far as we were concerned, every real relationship could be somewhat defined in a song because when you're young and have a boyfriend, all of the emotions surrounding love and relationships and attention are the same and they all run on a constant high. And of course, when you're in Jr. High, music is the only thing that gets you.
To be more specific and cynical, you read the lyrics to a song, find a few that really speak to you, none that go against your situation, the rest are just filler, and you've successfully found a song to define your love. To adults, mix CDs and "our songs" may have more substance or are more likely to be attributed to a sweet memory than someone else's words defining your own love.
One of my favorite songs to put on these boyfriend CDs was "Iris" by The Goo-Goo Dolls. This had been a favorite of mine growing up in the 90's and when I was reintroduced to it when I was 13, it seemed to really understand and embody all of the hormonal and crazy emotions I was experiencing (luckily I learned in the next couple of years how to greatly calm down from this).
I think the biggest lyric that jumped out off the page to me was the line, "When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." What line doesn't speak more to a 13-year-old girl who feels like it's her against the world?
This whole affair, of course, was pretty silly and melodramatic, but is one that I think a lot of people can relate to just because most people go through the same set of emotional and hormonal phases in early adolescence.
So tell me, how have music and relationships coincided throughout your pubescent years? Did anyone else, looking back, have the same formula for picking songs that "got" your love?
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Comments (7)
I never made a mix tape or cd for anyone. I remember recording songs from the radio via cassette tape back in the days. I really liked the song by ATB called It's a Fine Day. she sounds like a ghost whispering through your window in the middle of the night
I was really into mariah carey's songs. I bought her music videos on vhs tape
some depressing songs that I liked were "It's Been a While" by Staind, "My All" by Mariah Carey, "Breakdown" by Mariah Carey, "Whenever You Call" by Mariah Carey, "Heartbreaker" by Mariah Carey, and some slightly recent "We Belong Together by Mariah Carey. Go Mariah! she was and still is my favorite hoochie mama
I also liked Usher's songs: "You Got It Bad," "My Way," "Nice and Slow," "You Make Me Wanna..." I also have his concert from the 90's on vhs tape. there's this very cute latina chica backup dancer at his concert, who also appears in Santana's "Maria" song, that I can't find the name of, and I don't really care for females, but I think she's purty^^ if anyone knows, let me know
oh and R.Kelly's "You Remind Me of Something," Total "Kissin' You," Xscape "Who Can I Run To," 112 "Cupid," TLC "Red Light Special" Jodeci "Feenin," SWV "Weak" Allure "All Cried Out," and a bunch of other songs by black people.
Bon Jovi's 'Save the World' defined one of my relationships. Memories...
I know exactly what you're talking about. Though I didn't have many "boyfriends" back then, I did have several crushes, and more often than not, I would make mixes with songs that I thought were appropriate, whether I gave them to the guys they were named after, or just stayed in my mom's car so I could make her listen to them when she dropped me to school. I still make mixes now, but with more depth than just a CD called "JD's Mix" of songs that I liked at the time.
I would always go for indie pop rock songs though, because when I was 13, I always went for the sulky emo boys with long hair. (I guess one could say I go for a similar type now, the tortured artist type that has only two pairs of sneakers!)
Sad to say, though, I've never had a nice romantic mix given to me. Here's to hoping it happens soon!
I always have songs I come across that I used to listen to in my old relationships. I don't really like those songs now, not because it reminds me of them, but because I have matured... what I mean is I've matured on to better music- and better relationships. It's funny because I look back and realize my music tastes have changed just like my love life.
I made a mix CD for my boyfriend when we first started dating last year, because he asked what my favorite band was. "Blink-182" I said, and I made him a CD of all my favorite songs. For weeks we blasted them in his truck. I still have yet to make a cute romantic CD! He's not into that type of music...so hopefully I can convince him :)
@lovelikerockets422@xanga - I agree about maturation in both love and music. Writing this actually inspired me to take a stroll down memory land and listen to a random mix. MAN I had liked some pretty bad music, but at the time that stuff was golden!, though looking back I really wish I would have had internet so I could have expanded my horizons a little and gotten my hands on some really great tunes. There are a few songs I can go back and listen to and even jam out to secretly with girlfriends in the car, but let me tell you, I could go the rest of my life without ever hearing another Good Charlotte or Simple Plan song ever again.
I definitely used to do this. There's a small, 13 year old part of me that still lives in my brain that relates songs to every aspect of my life when I hear them, too. I think that won't ever change, because I'll always have a small aspect of my dramatic teen persona left in my personality, but the key is just learning to tone it down and not tell anyone about it. Haha. My best friend and I joke about these things a ton. But we don't tell anyone else anymore, and certainly not our boyfriends. =P
I didn't date during that time of my life, not until I got into college, so my use of mixtapes and just music in general for romantic feelings is different. I did a lot of listening to love songs and wondering what a relationship would be like, through the song itself. I literally lived entire made-up-in-my-head relationships through music. I also played music, and sang, and hung out with a lot of musicians, so we would play the popular songs of the time that most people listened to on mixtapes. I remember tuning pianos at a church with my friend Wes, and he got me to sing "Baby's Black Balloon" by the Goo Goo Dolls in the middle of the sanctuary, and we felt pretty rebellious, as if we had defiled the church with our secular pop music. Most of the musicians though, I had hopeless crushes on, and I got to hear the songs they were secretly writing for their girlfriends while they saw me as one of the guys. That gave me enough angst that I'm still feeling it ten years later. To let some of that pressure off, I wrote love poems, while listening to the music that I was living through, which helped a lot.