Friday, 05 October 2012

  • Is It Game On or Game Over?


    So it’s not out of the realm of possibility that I might have gotten my hands of one of those men who, despite what they say and their incessant persuasion, really are just in need of a chase. I swear if I live to be a million years old, I will never understand why people would do that. I think the first few times with a new lover aren’t the best anyway so I personally don’t tend to do people I wouldn’t want to continue to do.

    Here’s the deal. My friend’s husband set me and his old college roommate up. We talked and texted for a couple weeks and had some really great conversations. We probably told each other too much since we hadn’t met in person, but I swear he was like truth serum, he was good at asking questions and super easy to talk to. We had a lot in common and a serious attraction based on our conversations.

    He was very flirty and would text flirty messages. The night we went out, he and my friend and her husband picked me up in a limo and we picked up a few more friends. We had an awesome night and probably too much to drink. No, not probably, we definitely had too much to drink.

    Since he lived out of town and was in no shape to drive, he stayed at my house. We had what I thought was really hot sex. He left early the next day, we texted a few texts, but nothing substantial. I hadn’t heard from him today and since he told me that the last girl he was with got “freaked out” because he didn’t text of call enough and that he can go for days with communicating with his significant other, I decided not to call him.

    I realize that this sounds like I’m playing a game, but I think he told me about the last chick for a reason and I don’t want to smother him.

    Tonight at 10:43 he started texting and in the next six minutes six texts went back and forth; three from him, three from me. He never responded to the last text, he just exited the convo. No good bye. No good night. No sweet dreams. We was just gone. Who does that? I feel like he is playing with me.

    Naturally, because we had been having a great time and now he seems to be flaking out, I assume that it is because we slept together “too soon.” And this takes me back to my original point: why to men (and I’m sure women, but I have no experience with that since I’m strictly dickly) convince us it’s ok to sleep with them then run away after we do.

    To these “gentlemen” I say, GROW UP! My real question and frustration are not knowing if he is over me because the chase is over or is he playing some game with me. If it wasn’t for the texts he sent, I’d assume he was out, but the texts make the water murky.

    So is it a game or game over?

Comments (10)

  • xinq@xanga

    I've had that happen.  A few years ago, the guy was my boyfriend when I slept with him but the next day he broke up with me...I told him I only get with people I date or see a future with.  He took advantage of that statement and manipulated me.  If the sex isn't good on the first time as to why they stop talking it's called getting used to each other and practicing more.  I say if a guy does that, there's no point in keeping him around. They can manipulate some other naive woman.  You probably did sleep with him too soon.  In another situation like you -- I had done a similar thing because I knew I would never hang out with that guy again so in my mind I was like whatever I'll do it and I wasn't surprised that it turned out exactly the way that I had predicted.  The cons of having casual sex!  Oh well, I haven't had casual sex in a long time and every time I predict how a situation is going to turnout it happens exactly the way I feel it's going to.  And by knowing that, I'm being more cautious of who I give action to.

  • TeamBranham@xanga

    Well if it's a game, then play the hard to get game.  Unless you like him leaving you in the middle of convos or not texting back.  Or just quit the game.  The way he acts now will probably get worse.  Sounds like he is not looking for a long term relationship.  Glad you found out quickly, hope your heart doesn't get broke.  Doesn't sound like he is worth it.

  • Gaia

    You both had great sex(in your opinion). He doesn't appear to want much more. I say let him go and find someone else who is worth your trouble.

  • Erika_Steele@xanga

    1.  He had no problem talking and carrying on a conversation before the two of you hooked up.
    2.  You hook up.
    3.  He tells you doesn't always communicate with the women he is with (see #1).  He could go for days without talking to them (let me guess, when he is ready to hook up he'll call, of course he is not going to say that).
    4.  I am guessing the text were to see how much he could ignore you and keep you on call.

    I don't think it is a matter of him playing games, a guy wanting a woman that is "hard to get", or even that you had sex with him too soon.  It's that new cliche you may have heard, "he is just not into you."

  • TheNotoriousGOD@xanga

    i can't really know it was hot sex unless you divulge a full written porno.

  • P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga

    he was probably busy texting/flirting with someone else when he seemed to suddenly stop replying. I've done that before; text two people at once, then one is more interesting/funny, so I become consumed with texting that person instead of the other. we're not bf/gf, so I didn't really care if the other guy was mad or whatever. in fact, the guy was wondering what happened and texted me again later. I don't think he cared either since he probably has other girls to text. just someone to text when you're bored. I didn't have sex ith these guys that I'm talking about though. that's likely why they keep texting tabs on me to see if I'll suddenly feel uncontrollably freaky and want them badly, but I usually don't. I want my crush from work, who doesn't really pay attention to me, but he is absolutely dreamy I want the forbidden dreamboat

  • winniezpoo@xanga
    Regarding your comment...

    You just proved a point to him that he is sooooooooooooooooo hot he can get anyone and then dump them. He isn't worth it. It is better to make the guy wait a while so he KNOWS you are not "easy." Right now he thinks you go to bed fast with every guy, even if it isn't true. I am sixty-one years old. I also had to learn the hard way!

  • sunflowersforlove@xanga

    Wait has it only been a few days since he texted? Maybe he actually is just busy. I don't even remember to text people back half the time, and when I do it's like three days later. When guys text me too much because I haven't responded quickly enough I stop talking to them because if they can't comprehend the fact that I'm busy and it's not that I'm not interested then I don't really want to waste my time anyways.

  • xxfl1@xanga

    its game: date other people he's murky water. we don't know his reasoning or whats going on in his life, so anything could be happening. but really his comment about his ex, and how he essentially doesn't like to communicate for days at a time is a problem. do you want to be with someone like that? talk about selfish. theres a give and take for any relationship and maybe he just wasn't that into his girlfriend but not at least keeping in touch is disrespectful to me.

  • Perpetual_Disgrace@xanga

    Sounds to me like he's playing mind games.  I wouldn't bother with the bullshit anymore if I were you.  If he's not willing to be straight up with you from the get-go, it's probably a big red flag.

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