Friday, 05 October 2012
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When an Online Dating Service Labels You “Unmatchable”
This post was submitted by Megan.
Being rejected by a human being stings – but being rejected by a software program is downright bizarre. There is a well known online dating service that rejects a small percentage of would-be daters due to their responses to the company’s questionnaire, categorizing them as “unmatchable.”According to an unofficial blog post about the company, this means that the computerized matching system is not confident that it can find mutually compatible matches for these applicants. A senior research scientist at the company explained that the company ranks compatibility according to shared interests and character traits.
Consequently, if the system deems it difficult to nail down an applicant’s personality, it may deem them as being unmatchable. The company stated this is because they believe it would be unfair to would-be daters to take them on if they feel they would not be able to successfully match them.The bloggers have conducted a bit of research, and from their efforts they compiled a list of reasons why this dating service rejects some applicants:
· * Applicant responded that they are separated or married.
· * Applicant responded that they have been married more than two times.
· * Applicant responded that they have not yet turned 20.
· * Applicant scored low on certain traits like emotion management, conflict resolution, family background and self-concept.
Certainly, it can be discouraging to experience rejection on such an impersonal level. Moving through the process of traditional dating or online dating can feel similar to navigating shark infested waters. Romance is such a sought after and elusive commodity that thousands of books, articles and blog posts have been written about it, and thousands of television shows and movies have used it as a plot line.
Biologist Jeremy Griffith has some thoughtful insights on why so many people have trouble connecting with others on a romantic level that can withstand the test of time. Visit www.worldtransformation.com/what-is-love to read Griffith’s thoughts on the subject.
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Comments (7)
actually those sound like pretty sound reasons for not matching you up with someone, with possibly the exception of being married more than 2x or poor self conflict and family background. Of course, I am not sure what the computer is referring to. But if one site doesn't work, go to another. My advice is don't give up. I didn't and was very happily surprised.
Matching is subjective.
I wonder if this site was eHarmony. Try Match.com.
Well this is NOT a lie - having done and taken the tests having the moderators tell you that you are no match for anyone else on Gods Earth...Happened to me when signing up for Harmony.Com. It took incredibly long time to enter all the details...which seemed daft at the time. After which they took seconds to tell me to buzz off. They did not accept my profile and told me to go get a life elsewhere.
For a program such as this I found it quite offensive and all I wanted to do was meet some new people..people that are supposed to be your SoulMates with expert matching..dang! Its been a few years since I tried any other program..for meeting any other. Am probably the outsider looking in and its a daft world..how does one make new friends on the internet? Reading the previous replies above..I have tried Harmony..more recently Match.com they are more concerned with getting their fee and matching you with someone on an different continent and each one having their own way of scamming and asking for monies and financial support..Haven't met anyone to date and probably never will. I think its a good idea..but not a good one for me.If you're discussing eHarmony, the creator, Neil Warren, has expressed personal views about Christianity that many believe made it into the algorithm. The site was originally promoted by "Focus on the Family" and started out as a Christian dating service, though that label has been abandoned. Among Warren's [alleged] personal beliefs are the idea that divorce is wrong, and should always be avoided, that atheists/agnostics are worse than people of non-christian faiths, who are in turn worse than christians, and that gay/lesbian couples should not exist.
A lot of these beliefs seem to have made it into the website's matching program... a large % of people who self-identify as having no religious beliefs are not matched by the site, the site doesn't support gay/lesbian couples, and people who self-identify as "not wanting a permanent family" or "not wanting children" are often unmatched.
I don't really have a problem with it, except for the false advertising... don't they say something about anyone being welcome to their site in their advertisements? Frankly, I think anytime you use a matchmaking service you subject yourself to someone else's concept of love... though it may make great television, the "Millionaire Matchmaker" on Bravo seems to believe that physical attractiveness is the most important aspect of a relationship, as well as avoiding complex issues or controversial topics. It isn't my version of love, but she's made a lot of money off of it, so it must work for somebody. EHarmony falls in a similar vein... though I may not agree with their practices, they seem to have worked for a large percentage of people, so great for them.
As for being rejected by a dating site... meh, the computer has no feelings, so why should I get upset by what it says? It has no control over its outputs... that's like getting upset at a 3-year-old for calling you fat.
Pretty sure all this means is that they have to re-take the questionnaire & give more specific answers. I guess if they can't do that, then they need to work on figuring out who they are.....and THEN go back and retake the questionnaire (if they still need it). :-p
I just see this big server tower starting to smoke and grind with error messages stating ERROR: DOES NOT COMPUTE. And that was just when I entered my username!