Wednesday, 03 October 2012
I was in an on again off again relationship with a guy for almost two years. It seemed to be going well for the first few months, and I honestly believed that I loved him. But after a while, I started to notice some things that he would do that I did not like, and instead of addressing them, I let them build up until it led to an argument where we had broken up for the first time.
Despite the fact that I could no longer trust him, we tried many times to fix our relationship because he would tell me repeatedly that he still loved me and that he would do whatever he needed to in order to gain back my trust. To make a long story short... he failed at ever showing me he can be trustworthy in a relationship, and eventually I ended it for good because as much as I loved him, I knew he would never change.
After that relationship, I took some time to figure out what I wanted and did not go looking for another relationship. Eventually, I started talking to other guys, and I would be very interested in them, but soon they would prove themselves to be similar to my ex; only interested in sex or just not very mature. I wondered why those types of guys were the ones that attracted me the most.
And then I met Andy, who I was attracted to immediately, and ended up hooking up with not too long after I met him. I'm definitely not the type of girl that will hook up with someone I'm not dating... but alcohol can make a person do stupid things. Basically, after we hooked up he wanted to spend more time with me and actually take me out. But for some reason, I did not want to date him or spend more time with him.
Now here was this amazing guy who was smart, attractive, and actually very sweet telling me that he wanted to take me out. But I wasn't interested... and I could not for the life of me, figure out why. He was exactly what I had wanted... so why wasn't I letting myself have what I knew I deserved?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that a lot of girls do this. I think part of me likes not knowing what's going on in the guy's head, and likes being kept guessing. It's appealing to us. But when a guy makes it simple and lays it all out there, maybe I think that it's not challenging or interesting enough. I thought back, and realized that there were many "nice guys" that I had never given a chance, but I was willing to risk a broken heart for the guy that was more likely to hurt me.
I thought that maybe I was nervous about trusting a guy that seemed so sweet at first, because that's how my ex was too. But there were definitely some red flags with my ex from the beginning that I either chose to ignore, or was too naive to see. Andy was different, and I knew it.
Many guys claim that most girls will go for the jerk before the "nice guy." I do feel like some guys use the "nice guys finish last" line because they pity themselves, but I think there are definitely times where they do finish last... because us girls would prefer a guy that's more mysterious. But why is that?
P.S. I eventually did go out on a date with Andy, and we have actually been dating for a few months now. He treats me so well and I have never been happier.
What do you think?