This post was submitted by Jenny.
The guy I have been seeing for over a year entirely forgot my birthday. He had it marked on his calendar, has social media (my b-day is listed), & I told him a few times the week prior. I know he has the date memorized. Yet, he still spaced out.
He called me on my birthday after he got out of the gym and asked if I wanted to watch TV. So I went over there & he didn't say anything. I didn't say anything either. I was embarrassed for myself. It was a weekday so I wasn't going to go crazy and all out with friends until the weekend. All I wanted was to be wished a Happy Birthday. Womp womp.
On the weekend we hung out. He took me to get pizza & we watched a movie at his house. That was kind of nice since he never takes me out. But still, I was slightly upset. There was no acknowledgment.
In the evening I blurted out, "You really are clueless aren't you?" He replied, "What's wrong?" With a stern look on my face I said. "You forgot my birthday." He knew he messed up.
I left his house shaking my head. He was apologizing & saying he felt like crap, etc. He was tearing up when I left, in a very nice way. I gave him a hug & a sad, halfhearted smile. I really think I deserve better. At least give me a guy who would put in some effort after he messed up. All he has done is text that he is sorry & that I should forgive him, guys make mistakes, and I shouldn't be so upset.
There are other issues, like him being cheap with me, even with time spent with me. We've gone out a total of 2 times. The rest is just hanging out at his house. He is financially stable, has a home, and doable work hours. There really isn't any reason for him to forget me. He let the door slam in my face a few times. So I guess it is for the best I let this guy go.
But other than that, he is alright. I'm sure good guys forget birthdays all the time.
Has anyone forgotten your birthday?
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Comments (40)
No, but I did forget my current significant other's birthday last year. I felt really badly about it. I DID remember his birthday before his actual birthday, though. To be fair, I was going through a lot at the time with taking care of my terminally ill mom. My significant other did forgive me. I made it up to him afterwards.
I'm just going to play devil's advocate here.
if you really want someone that is chivalrous, you can probably find one but the question needs to be asked: how many times have *you* taken him out before? He didn't hold the door for you a few times, but you didn't think to open it for yourself? He obviously isn't a guy that holds door and spoils his girl friend, and that doesn't mean he's a jerk. It means that's what he's like. it's been a year with this guy and this is the reason you're breaking up?A lot of people stop caring so much about birthdays when they're older. Maybe he is one of them.
sorry:( But if you feel like its not working out, it sounds like its for the best. Happy birthday gorgeous!
If you want to cut him loose just because he forgot your birthday and doesn't take you out very often, then by all means go ahead. He could probably do without a selfish, petty bitch like yourself.
"I know he has the date memorized. Yet, he still spaced out."
Save the tests for school.
I read a post the other day about a guy who forgot his girlfriends birthday and she was super upset. I turned to my husband and asked him when my birthday was. He told me the month day and year. I have to admit I was a little shocked he remembered. I thought about all the boyfriends I had that forgot my birthday and how it was best we are exes because they are losers. I deserve someone who is going to put in effort and that is what I found. I was super lucky and found this amazing guy when I was just 16.
My boyfriend is super forgetful. He doesn't mean to miss an important date, so I make sure I don't make things worse by not reminding him. I'll remind him of an anniversary a week before, then the day before, etc... I feel like by doing that I make sure I don't get hurt and he doesn't get in trouble for having bad memory. Win win.
I really think you are overreacting, based on the information you've given us. He forgot your birthday. So what? I forget my own birthday sometimes. It sucks, he feels bad, you feel bad, get over it.
Do you plan dates? Because that can solve that whole not-going-out thing. Maybe he doesn't feel the need to go out to enjoy his time with you. MAYBE he just enjoys the time he spends with you, regardless of what you are doing.
If you don't feel the same, however, maybe its time to end it and find someone who is more your style.
okay, so let me get this straight. he was genuinely apologetic, even to the point of crying, and even texted another apology later...yet you still think that after a whole year, this is a huge deal? then, on top of that, you had to bring it up in the stereotypical passive-aggressive way girls are known for doing: "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S WRONG, DO YOU!!!!111"
you know what, go ahead and dump him, because he deserves better than a high-maintenance bitch like you. i hope you never get laid again.
I thought aw that sucks when i read the title, I then read it and when I saw you were happy he took you out for pizza because he 'never takes you out' I realised you were dating a bit of a douchebag, or not douchebag but just maybe an immature young man that doesn't yet know how to appreciate his gf. Go get a new bf that will treat you better.
My first real girlfriend forgot. But we(cough...'she') had ended things just a few weeks before so I didn't hold it against her.
Anyways, so your guy screwed up. Yes you deserve better than to have someone forget your birthday. But he completely feels like crap now and admits it. People are going to make mistakes. The question is, Are you going to forgive this repentant guy for his mistake?
=o/ I dunno if I would have dumped him. You must have not really been into him then. Cuz you could have told him what he needed to do to make it up or bring up going out more too. To fix those things you didn't like.
my boyfriend of three years, whom i own a home with and have a child with, still doesn't know my birthday and i just tell him a week before when it is. he only gets me flowers on valentine's day, mother's day and our anniversary. but does that mean i should be mad he doesn't do it as a random act of love/kindness? no. guys are guys and they don't change and shouldn't change for a woman. let it go and chalk it up to a guy being a guy. voice your opinion to him about wanting to be taken out on a date every now and then. i couldn't tell you the last time we went out and honestly, i think i paid for that night out at dinner!
Happy Birthday, dear.
I know it feels sad when someone you love forgets your birthday and/or anniversary, but if he shows his affections all year long, I think it would be a good idea to forget and forgive. We can't expect others to make us happy, true happiness comes from within. Instead of being sad, I would have done something for my birthday that made me feel good--be it shopping, spa services, inviting friends to head out to dinner, whatever. What did you expect of him? Gifts? Fancy dinner out? Party thrown in your honor? All those things are nice to do for someone, but it is not a requirement.
To answer your question, my husband does not forget my birthday and other important days. He even remembers days (like the anniversary of our first official date) that I don't think to celebrate or commemorate--so I am going to take this with a grain of salt and move along.
You guys have been going out for over a year and he still can't get your birthday down? LOL what are you doing with a guy with such bad memory??
Forgetting your birthday doesn't seem like a big enough issue to end the relationship over, but it sounds like there is more to your unhappiness than just that. I think there is more here than what you are telling us. But if you're that unhappy, it may be time to move on.
And I second drummingmediocrity--happy belated birthday! I hope you still got a chance to enjoy yourself, even if it wasn't with him.
All I got out of this nonsense was "It's my birthday, I deserve a gift and/or to be treated, goddamnit!!!!" Seriously. Get over yourself. You're not entitled to a gift and/or to be treated on your birthday or any other day, for that matter. Seriously.
I don't celebrate my birthday so there have been years when I forget my own birthday is coming until my parents or siblings call and remind me. I don't really see what the big deal about birthdays are, as we should celebrate life everyday.
But, yeah. One of my best friends forgets every year. He knows it doesn't mean very much to me and I appreciate that he understands me.
Good luck. Hope you find someone who will be what you want/need.
he probably was annoyed or didn't want to feel obligated to get you a gift since you announced your bday a few times the week prior. maybe he remembered but didn't know what to get you, so he "forgot." if he actually cried, then he is remorseful. some people might just apologize and be like whatever, but he showed that he felt bad that he forgot. I'd probably take a pic of his cute teary-eyed sad face as my screensaver memoir
that in itself would be a priceless gift. find the silver lining sometimes.
omg, a cheap guy that forgets about your birthday AND THEN DOESN'T MAKE IT UP TO YOU? DUMP HIM!
Okay, so he has a bad memory, who cares? Lots of people have bad memories, that doesn't make them bad people. You told him, he apologised, I don't really know what else you want him to do. Do you just want him to take you out and spend money on you so you can feel that he's "truly sorry"? If you want to do something for your birthday, then make it happen - book a date somewhere, or book a restaurant or TELL HIM what you want to do. He's not a mind reader.
In response to your other complaints, have you even told him you want to go out more? Not everyone likes going out all the time, and that doesn't make them a bad person. Seriously, if you want something, you need to vocalise it. He might be perfectly happy having quiet nights in, and because you haven't vocalised that you're unhappy, he sees no need to change (and rightfully so). If you want someone who spoils you and takes you out more, you're in the wrong relationship, but he's not a bad person just because he doesn't want the same things as you.
I can't believe you fucking toyed with his emotions to the extent of making him almost cry just because he couldn't remember a stupid date. Who the fuck cares when you came out of your mum's gaping vagina? It's not like your birth was anything beneficial to the world - what makes you think you're so entitled on an otherwise average/nondifferential day?
It doesn't mean that he doesn't know the date of your birthday. He could have been consumed by other things like errands/work on the day that it flew past his head. Heck, i don't even know today's date.
Guys were never biologically hardwired to wait on hand and foot for women so you can't expect this kinda shit without telling him what you particularly want. Him being cheap with you, really? I understand that you want to be spoiled now and then but you can't tell him how to spend his own earnings. What have you even done for him? Do you take him out on amazing dates, spoil him etc?
You're being completely unfair on him. If you hold money/chivalry so highly above anything else in relationships, fuck an old/rich man.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - fucking this.
Yeah, it is best to let him go. Go find a guy that will do everything you want, and let him find a girl who won't nag.