The inspiration for this story came from looking through iTunes on my old laptop that I passed down to my brother. I figured I had deleted this song a long, long time ago, but seeing as I hadn’t, I figured it would be harmless and make for a sweet story to share. Even though I have long moved on from this time in my life, everyone has little sweet stories that they can reflect on fondly every once in awhile, and this is one of mine.
I have time and again made references to my relationship that lasted about three years and went down in flames. This long-in-the-past love was with my high school sweetheart and though the relationship ended rather, “vomitrotiously,” it began with one of the sweetest moments of my life and will be something I remember forever.
Mr. High School Sweetheart and I had dated briefly during my Sophomore year and his Junior year of High School. At the time it didn’t turn into more than that and we decided to see other people. A little less than a year later, I began to catch him looking at me again from across the set-up during band rehearsal (oh how romantic!) and I began to return the look and smile.
While I wouldn’t say I still had feelings for him or anything, there were some butterflies upon this realization and there was still some dormant interest. To make a long story short, we ended up talking and catching up over the next few days and I broke things off with my derpy college boyfriend who was clearly shifting his radar to college girls anyway, and admitted that he was “casually” seeing someone the last few weeks we were together.
In other words, it was asshole speak for, “We’ve been seeing each other, but she won’t have sex with me until I break up with you.” Whatever man, you’re cheating and you got dumped by your high school girlfriend. But I digress....
After a few weeks of seeing each other, Valentine’s Day came around. For this next part, I will have to remind all readers that this was high school so set your mentality as such. My friends and I all figured and were completely school girl giddy over the fact that he was likely going to want to make things official. We were also good friends with his little brother who mentioned in passing that his brother had been sawing away at his guitar for the last week or so on clearly fresh material. *cue heart attack*
That night, I went over to his house and after dinner with his family, he took me up to his room (this is not what I meant by making things official). On his pillow was a large bag of Starbursts (my favorite candy) and he invited me to sit on his bed. At this point, he started to seem a little nervous and jittery and every sentence started with an, “um.”
All the while I sat on his bed with a stupid smile on my face anticipating the next few minutes. He grabbed his guitar and said, “So I uh....wrote...this *cough* for you.” Keep in mind that we had a brief history of dating after being friends prior to that so some of these lyrics seem like they’re out of creepy left field, but they aren’t.
Please take yourself back to being seventeen and imagine a super cute boy (whom you have always assumed was way too cool for you) nervously playing his guitar at the end of his bed for you and singing this song:
How can I even talk, when words can’t express
This song’s tearing me down, as my heart pounds in my chest.
And I’ve been dying to catch my breath, gasping trying to breathe,
but every step I take towards you I know your eyes they see right through me
You have always seen, who I am, who I am, not who I aim to be.
BRIDGE: So tell me now, whisper in my ear
keep it soft, keep it low, no one else can hear
Oh how can I convey, I’ve been hanging on every word you say
As we dance, as we dance, our lives away
CHORUS: I am the canvas, I am hopelessly awkward and blank
You are the artist, waiting to make the change,
And at the end of the day I am filled with color
No longer empty, because you have made me beautiful
You have made me beautiful, so come fix me beautiful
My heart is ready to change
Inspiration runs me through and I found it in your eye,
In your glance, your smile, your touch, a heart beat matching mine.
And a touch that feels so right, with hands pinned down to my side,
But it’s deeper than just the touch, with hearts now intertwined.
So come kiss me beautiful, my heart is ready to change.
A sweet and cheesy tune, this song won me over and I of course immediately kissed him and he replied, “Um...in case you couldn’t tell...that was me asking you to be my girlfriend.” I could have died from all of the cute in the room. Oh to be silly and seventeen again!
Has anyone ever written you a song? What is the most romantic way you've ever been asked out? Also, I should probably delete the song now, right?