I am going to talk today about experience and maturity. You might start reading this post believing they are one and the same, but it is my intention to convince you otherwise
. You see, I believe that a person can have a wealth of experience, but not be mature, and that it is also possible to be very mature without a lot of experience.
Now before you start thinking that I mean sexual experience, stop. Because I don't. Let's leave the virgin and non-virgin equation out of it. I want to talk about life experience
. Have you ever encountered someone with a great deal of life experience? They have been there and back again and have the stories to prove it. Sometimes they have the physical or emotional scars to prove it as well.
Forgive me if this offends you, but
picture your stereotypical 'butch' lesbian. What kind of life partner do you typically see her with? If you pay attention it is someone who usually looks and acts the same way. And why do you think that is? Because she sees in the other woman a reflection of the same life experiences she herself has been through.
This means the same kind of coming-out story filled with various amounts of acceptance and rejections from friends and family. But really it is about seeking out the same level of soul searching to answer life's greatest questions: "Who am I and why am I here?"
I used the example of the truly 'butch' lesbian because when they are together, they just stick out like a sore thumb. Others do not. I believe we all seek out those who have similar experiences in life as we do ourselves
. For some this means seeking out those who have been through great sorrow. For others this may mean seeking out those who have always had a silver spoon. There really is nothing like finding a soul mate, in whatever package that happens to arrive.
So do you see by now how I have defined maturity? Maturity is not seeking out the weak and vulnerable because they can give us a means of physical pleasure. A mature person seeks out those who have been through the same life experiences as themselves.
There are a great many individuals on this site (Xanga) who have a great deal of life experience. I'm sure you know some yourself. Now the next time you think over a potential mate for a relationship ask yourself these questions; Has this person ever sacrificed anything? Has this person been through hell and back? Because if the answer is yes, they may have enough maturity to not only understand themselves, but also to understand you. And isn't that what we all want? To be understood? How do you define experience? How do you define maturity? Without naming names, can you think of people in your life that have these qualities?