Sunday, 23 September 2012
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Texting Cliffhangers
Ever find yourself texting someone, the conversation is going well, and then all the sudden it just stops after you had the last word? By stops, I mean that person never responds back. Even if you try to follow up, chances are you won't receive a response. This is what I call a texting cliffhanger.Why do people feel the need to leave other people on cliffhangers? Why can't they close the conversation like mature, responsible people? A lot of women are notorious for doing this. You don't even have to say anything blatantly offensive or perverted (i.e. can u show me ur tits PLZZZ?!!). It can be something that looks harmless on paper, but she takes offense to it for some reason (i.e. asking "What do your siblings do for a living?").
This causes most guys to feel like they're walking on eggshells whenever they text women they just met because ANYTHING they say can instantly turn them off even if the conversation has been perfect otherwise.To the guys, how often do you deal with texting cliffhangers from women you've just met and what do you usually do in response? To the girls, do you engage in leaving guys on cliffhangers if they say something that you take the wrong way?
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Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - About Me: I have been using Xanga since August 2001 and have seen a lot of changes since then.
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Comments (52)
WHAT IS YOUR PROFILE PICTURE SUPPOSED TO BE, DAMMIT?
I usually excessively ramble on half intentionally.
Also:
"(i.e. can u show me ur tits PLZZZ?!!)"
i.e. ≈ that is to say...
and
e.g. ≈ for example...
The difference being that "i.e." usually implies what was previously mentioned is equivalent to what follows, while "e.g." implies what was previously mentioned is not limited to what follows.
I usually ramble on (i.e. I don't stop talking) half intentionally (e.g. this comment).
Maybe she doesn't get along with her family or she has unresolved issues with them or something?
I don't like talking about my siblings either, but I wouldn't stop texting the person because of it. It's like, go ask them yourself. Unless he has met my brothers, I have no interest in talking about them once I tell you their ages, occupations and names.
Society needs to establish texting etiquette.
Usually people have their reasons for not responding. Perhaps she or he became busy making dinner, folding laundry, or went to the bathroom? It's not all about you.
I think you mean e.g., not i.e.
And your question is so loaded. As if only dudes get texting cliff hangers and only chicks are the ones who hand them out? I get texting cliff hangers from both genders, usually from immature people.
This is why actually talking to someone is helpful; especially if you're trying to get to know them.
I also think you're overgeneralizing. This is not limited to women. It also may have nothing to with what you said. When I am having an entire conversation through texting, it means I am doing something that prevents me from talking on the phone. Most likely, I just got busy and forgot to text you back. If I do come back and have multiple texts because I forgot to text you back, I am probably just annoyed that you blew up my phone.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - Thanks for the grammar lesson. Not even the Datingish editors were able to catch that.
@nepenthium@xanga - Never said only guys did, but women are more likely to do this with guys than vise versa because women in today's society, especially hot and young attractive women, dominate and have the final say as to whether there will be a relationship or not and thus they CAN do it. This is because they constantly have guys flocking to them and handing them their dicks on a silver platter.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - umm that's just your personal experiences and observations with women though. It doesn't necessarily apply to most or any of the female population as there are obviously sampling biases in your dating model.
sometimes my pinky finger is dangling on the caps lock key because I'm just about to CAPS LOCK ATTACK the other, but I recline when I remember that I don't have unlimited texting on my prepaid phone. then the person might try to call me and leave a voicemail. checking my voicemail will eat up my minutes, so I don't bother to check them. it isn't that much money compared to how much I spend on other things. it just shows that I have more important things that I'd rather spend my money on. however, I rarely give out my phone number for people to text/call, so I'm not leading them on. they can text me via IM online because I'm already paying for my wifi. some possibilities of a lack of response might be: their internet signal sucks and they lost connection, their computer froze so they have to restart, network glitch-this has happened to me-I was typing away and the other person didn't respond so I thought he left but he was there-he just didn't see my messages because for some reason, the IM wasn't instant but was behind and stuck in the server or wherever. the next time I signed in, I saw all of the replies that he sent, so he did reply, but the texts were backed up or stuck. this is probably not a common occurrence, but yeah, I wasn't as annoyed when I found out there were network problems and he wasn't being a diva. another time, the guy warned me that he was coming down from a high of smoking weed, so he was about to pass out and he did. he woke up from his nap later and I didn't mind because I had other people to text. or the person isn't sure how to respond, so the person would rather not respond than come off as being a jerk, but then they are still seen as a jerk if they don't respond, or they think that it isn't any of your business and hope the person gets a hint and moves onto the next subject. or if nothing was offensive and it was casual stuff, then they don't think it is a big deal if the "bye" wasn't said to give text msg closure. I've had some say "got2go" in the middle of texting and it was rude to cut me off but then again, it would also be rude if they were busy or whatever and didn't want to read and respond. I've ignored people when they said something that crossed the line. they might not realize they offended me, but usually they know, because I'll tell them that I don't want to talk anymore. sometimes I'll ignore and let them gradually get a clue and feel ignored, so they'll text someone else. it means that I don't really care if I just met them. if I really like the person and I care, then I'll eventually message them later.
Umm.. wow. You may be reading too much into it. Maybe there are things she'd rather talk about in person than text about. My advice? Put down the phone. I personally hate it when guys will text me maybe asking me a question or whatever.. & then once you try to let the conversation die, keep texting with random questions or comments. Not everyone can sit on their phone & text all day. Maybe she got the text, had something important to do & forgot all about it. Take all these topics you want to ask her about & do it when you're together. Think about it; if you talked about everything over text, what in the world would you talk about in person?
@Awake_My_Soul420@xanga - "if you talked about everything over text, what in the world would you talk about in person?"
Nothing; we'd just dance and fuck.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - Wow. Umm.. well, good luck with that.. you're going to need it.
I'm notorious for leaving texting cliffhangers. Not even just to guys, but to everyone. I forget to text people back pretty much everyday and sometimes I just never get back to them. I do sometimes do it to guys who are being gross or obsessive.
@Awake_My_Soul420@xanga - Why "good luck"? I do it all the time.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - At least women start to have a conversation with you. I've had guys who have never responded in the first place to even start the conversation. I've had guys never pick up my phone calls even though they told me to call them. It's not like I was making their phone ring off the hook. I tried to get a hold of them on the weekends to hang out rang once one weekend if they didn't answer, I'd try back the next weekend and they'd never get back to me.
Don't act like women are the only ones who do this, as a matter of fact, men I mean little boys trapped in men's bodies are far worse about it.
You need to stop aiming for your unrealistic goal of snatching perfect 10s and your dream woman. You're never going to get her because you have self issues you don't want to face.
@Btrfly_Wngs@xanga - Chibi tends to generalize woman a lot. He has pent up frustration just like T3h because no woman wants to date either of them so they lump all woman to be the same. If those guys really can't find anyone to date it isn't the women that are the problem, IMO. It pisses me off that he says this shit about women when at least women have the courtesy to respond. "Men" don't respond nor do they even reply back at all to even have a conversation in the first place.
I don't leave "cliffhanger" texts. I always answer as soon as I'm able. I also let the person know that I'm going to be away from my phone for an extended period of time (like if I'm clocking in for work) if we're in the middle of a conversation. I used to get texts from certain guys that would text the same thing over and over again, even when I would tell them that I wouldn't be able to answer (for a legitimate reason such as going to bed, going to work, doing school work, etc). They act like I'm ignoring them and I end up with 10 new messages that all say the same thing or something similar to "hey" or "where are you" when I told them what I would be doing. I stop talking to those guys, completely. They are way too annoying.
I love texting though. I love having conversations with people in any form. I don't just stop in the middle. More often than not, I'm the one that gets the "cliffhanger" texts. I'll send something to someone and they will randomly disappear on me for hours, days, weeks, or forever without saying a word. My conversations are usually pg-13. If I fear that I've offended them, I say I'm sorry, but often it just seems like it was all out of the blue.
While I mostly get this from GUYS, my best friend is really bad about this too. With guys, I just assume they aren't interested in talking anymore if they haven't replied in a few days. I delete their number and move on. My best friend is a girl, and she is SO BAD about cliffhanger texts. Her excuse is that she just doesn't like texting. Some people just don't enjoy texting *shrugs* That might be the case for some of these girls you're talking to.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - I told you not to write an entry. This makes you look more pathetic and bitter than you already are. You wonder why women don't want to continue talking to you. Listen to yourself and what you say.
I do this when I'm at work, especially lately. If it's just someone saying "hey" or someone I talk to all the time, I'll ignore them until I remember I have a text later. If anyone is offended by it, I am none the wiser. Sometimes I get busy. I can't help that!
Women aren't the only ones who do this. Zero Eprops.
so i know we've had this conversation before. why are you texting these chicks so much? asking about siblings is *not* something you do in text. phone/text conversations should be, as much as possible, limited to setting up times to hang out in real life. this question may have been more acceptable after you've hung out a few times, but if you haven't gone out on a single date yet, any conversation like that should be off limits.
on a related note, in my experience, if a girl hasn't responded to a text within an hour (pre-first date), it's highly unlikely she actually wants to go out.
Find a woman who talks as much or as little as you do.
Also: You may have gauged the conversation to be perfect, but you can't say that's how she's perceives it.
@Awake_My_Soul420@xanga best point made i regards to texting. I have finally started hating texting because of its incessant mind games and societal rules of when to respond back and how often one should text. Im starting to lean towards calling now. We all need to get back in touch through our voices again.
it usually happens because she thought she replied already
Why do people care about texting so much? If I don't reply, it's because I'm not glued to my phone. I text my boyfriend a lot because we're long distance and it's the easiest way for us to communicate when I'm at work and he's in class, but I'd much rather talk on the phone/Skype or in person. She has a life outside of you. If I'm at work, I don't have my phone on me except for breaks - when I'm out with friends, I don't text constantly because my priority is with my friends, not my phone.
In my opinion, texting should only be used for making immediate plans or asking a quick question here or there. I hate guys who try to have conversations with me via text - I don't have the patience or time for that. I usually end up ignoring those messages completely because I just never find the time to answer them.
Also, if you are seriously using text messages to ask a girl questions like, "What do your siblings do?", you need to step up your game big time. It's no wonder she doesn't respond - she's probably bored to tears.