Friday, 21 September 2012
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A Double Standard of Dating: Easy Women?
This post was submitted anonymously.
I've had guys call me "easy." Giving it up quickly one time after misjudging a character shouldn't determine that. Even if I am -- it takes two to tango. I'm thinking I couldn't have given it up without him and I told him he is just as easy so he's a hypocrite. I don't care that he is a guy; if he thinks he can get away with calling me this while he does the same thing, he can think again.How have you handled the double standards of dating? What are some other double standards?
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Comments (68)
Dang straight! And no, never to my face anyway.
Another very popular double standard in dating is when one partner cheats, is forgiven, yet absolutely will not entertain the notion of forgiving their partner if/when they cheat.
Biggest one I can think of is that a man who has a lot of sex is called a "pimp", a "player", or lots of other names with a positive connotation, as if it's something to be proud of, but a woman who does the very same thing is called a "skank", a "slut", or something along those lines. My personal opinion is that sleeping around is not respectable for either gender.
"...it takes two to tango."
It only takes one to stop the hypocrisy, but it's better when two dance to the same song.
He couldn't be easy if you weren't.
“A key that can open many locks is called a master key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock.”
"Can" and "does" are 2 different things entirely.
Instead of casting equal blame, why not take equal responsibility?
'If you're going to call me a slut I'm going to fuck someone else.'
Society is a fucking joke.
Ever hear of a term called "Manwhore"?
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga -
Yeah, but only because "Womanwhore" has become redundant.
Like "homework"... isn't that what school is for?
Anyone who says things like that isn't worth your time anyways. Yeah, it sucks there's a double standard, but I don't think it's ever going to go completely away. I think the way it is right now is the lowest it's ever going to be.
@sunflowersforlove@xanga -
"Anyone who says things like that isn't worth your time anyways."
i.e. 'If you're going to call me a slut I'm going to fuck someone else.'
How do you even respond to that?
"Uhh.. yeah, I figured as much. That's why I called you a slut in the first place."
Lol. I love individuals but I hate people like you wouldn't fucking believe.
Monogamy deserves monogamy.
If you disagree, you are calling yourself a slut.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - People who want to be monogamous should be with people who want to be monogamous, and people who want to sleep around should be with other people who want to sleep around. I agree with that. I'm not really understanding how that has to do with a guy calling a girl easy for participating in the same behavior as him though.
@sunflowersforlove@xanga - "...people who want to sleep around should be with other people who want to sleep around."
No... I don't agree with that. An individual who wants to sleep around should not sleep with an individual who wants monogamy. Emotionally, that is tantamount to rape.
A person who wants to sleep around is easy... if they choose to be monogamous later on, that in no way changes that they were, in-fact, easy.
So when you say "Anyone who says things like that isn't worth your time anyways.", they have 2 options:
1. Stay with the person and prove them wrong.
2. Continue being easy.
Once a person has slept around, there's no 'high road' to be taken...if they stay with the person they are doing what they should have done in the first place.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - I'm just going to have to assume you misread what I said and go with the fact that you like to nitpick everything everyone says to twist it into what you want it to mean. You make good points, that's it. I'm not going to disagree because you'll find something wrong with that, too.
top 2 d-ish topics:
1. this particular "double standard" of dating, which has the same comments every time
2. why being a virgin is okay
i'm pretty sure i could calibrate a statistics model to determine when to expect one of these posts.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - Did you even read her comment before replying to and quoting it? She's not saying that people who sleep around should be with people who want monogamy. She's saying the exact opposite.
And thanks for comparing conflicting values to RAPE. Real respectful, dude.
Ignoring the trolling complainers and actually answering the topic. I don't know if you'd call this a double standard...but when a friend forgives her boyfriend who has wronged her in so many ways yet she won't forgive a friend who messed up once to her. Basically people who forgive significant others easily but they get angrier at friends for whatever reason.
P.S. I see a lot of people always complain about the topics yet I still haven't seen them write their own and submit it yet, just sayin'.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - *APPLAUSE* these words brought me TO TEARS. :') Why is your genius not appreciated?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Well, for someone who refuses the term "easy", I find it weird that you also use the term "give it up"
"Give it up" implies there is something one has the other is trying to get. If the one trying to get it, doesn't have to put much effort into getting it, that would, be default lead them to use the term "easy" about the one who gave it to them without struggle.
It's not a judgement, it's just descriptive if THAT is how the players involved look at the situation.
Like "I wanted it, didn't have to work for it, hey, that was easy."
I have sex when and with whom I want. I'm not "giving" anything up to anyone. I'm getting what I want, they get what they want. It's easy for both of us. Win win, everyone is happy.
I can smile to myself and say "that was easy" and it's not a diss on anyone.
Since I don't feel I am giving anything up, I don't feel I am getting taken, so I don't have to be offended that someone divulged they had sex with me, because I'm not uncomfortable with my choice to have sex.
People sometimes say "boo hoo, they made me uncomfortable with my choice." when what really happened is someone said something that made us have to face our own issues with our choice.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - Man your words, your soul. SO BEAUTIFUL. I dedicate this little diddle to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHmN3lMoqeg. I'm pretty sure Jesse McCartney was writing about you, T3hZ10n, and he didn't even KNOW IT.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - and i'm sure i can expect when to see your complaints.
still haven't seen an article by you yet. don't talk about other articles 'til you've written your own.
@jenigrins@xanga - Um, what's so "genius" and needs "recognition" for? That he/she/it misread someone's comments? Weirdo.
@Guest - I can't tell what's more funny: the fact that you took my comment seriously or the fact you take yourself so seriously.
I fucking left a JESSE MCCARTNEY song in the comment for christ's sake. lololol, so chill out bro.
@jenigrins@xanga - hey man, don't mock my boy jesse mccartney! he and i are lovers
oh and guest and i are lovers on the side too, though she tries to keep it a secret, so try not to make fun of her too much either :p
@Guest - If you think I misread her comment you are misunderstanding mine.
@hallentine@xanga - Thank you for re-reading to me what I just fucking read.
“A key that can open many locks is called a master key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock.”
That is not a "double standard" when a lock that IS opened by many keys IS opened by a key that CAN open many locks but DOESN'T.
Self-control...
Does that phrase make any fucking sense to you at all?
Just because a guy fucks an easy girl that doesn't necessarily make the guy easy.
She said:
"Anyone who says things like that isn't worth your time anyways."
I was pointing out the fact that when a NON-EASY GUY calls an EASY GIRL "easy", she deliberately makes herself that much fucking EASIER by finding someone else to fuck, thus PROVING HIS FUCKING POINT.
Are you THAT fucking stupid?
"She's saying the exact opposite."
What she is saying is NEUTRAL. What I'm saying IS THE EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE.
So long as people are sleeping around, THEY WILL BE SLEEPING AROUND WITH PEOPLE WHO WANT MONOGAMY but THE PEOPLE WHO WANT MONOGAMY WANT SEX AS WELL BUT CAN'T FUCKING FIND IT ANYWHERE ELSE.
The difference is that PEOPLE WHO WANT MONOGAMY GENERALLY ARE NOT AND CANNOT BE FUCKING DECEITFUL WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR INTENTIONS AND EVEN IF THEY ARE, THEY'RE THE ONES WHO END UP FUCKED EITHER WAY.
"I want to be monogamous"
TOO FUCKING BAD, THEN I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
"I know we just had sex, but I lied. I want to be in a monogamous relationship with you."
TOO FUCKING BAD, I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH JUST YOU.
NOW do you see what I am fucking saying?
"And thanks for comparing conflicting values to RAPE. Real respectful, dude."
YOU CAN'T DISRESPECT A PERSON WITH NO VALUES. If you like to sleep around, it's not that you have "different" values, it's that you have NO FUCKING VALUES.
I think that it is unfortunate that women are sometimes stuck in a situation where they are either "easy" or they are viewed as just playing chasing games. At the same time though men are also stuck between a rock and a hard place in their own way. They are either "not men" if they accept the advances of an "easy" woman, or they might be viewed as "players" if they achieve confidence through repeated experience in seducing women. Both men and women fuck each other over.
It's amazing the way men think, isn't it?
You're
right, he had no right to say this about you, if he was just as willing.
However, if you were looking for something serious, perhaps you
should've waited, just to make sure he was as serious as you were. You'd
be surprised how often guys will come around, only in the hopes of
getting some, and then running, once they've gotten what they wanted.
It's sad, but true. So, just be more careful is all. You've made the
mistake, now learn from it.