Saturday, 15 September 2012

• What is the Most Revolting Turn On That Someone Has Tried On You?

  

  We can all agree that just about everyone is strange in some way to some degree, especially when it comes to sex. However, I think we can also agree that there is a less-than-fine line between strange and, "WTF MAN?!" Role play, advanced positions, and objects can be fun and while everyone has a bit of a unique flavor in the bedroom, I think there are some things that are just a little too taboo, at least in my opinion. 
  
  There are also things that you just don't say when you're trying to lure someone into your bed the first time. Here's the story of the worst encounter I've had to date.
  
  My ex and I had been broken up for right around two months (this was a little over a year and a half ago). I had just begun getting out and socializing with the rest of the world and reintroducing myself to life outside of mine and my friend's apartments. On a Friday night a couple of weeks into the semester (late January) a friend of mine got invited to a highlighter party. Along with our close girlfriends, she also invited her new neighbor, we'll call him...S.
  
  S seemed like a nice enough fellow, though I will say that my judgment was a little fuzzy at this point in time. He was nice, clean, and seemed to have a genuine interest in me so I entertained the conversation and attention. In conversation, we realized that we were actually in the same Philosophy class and ended up exchanging numbers by the end of the night. I figured that if my ex was already committed to another girl, I shouldn't feel bad about giving a guy my number.
  
  In lecture that following Monday, he asked if I would like to go to lunch after we were both finished with classes that day. I agreed (free meal honey) and we went to a local cafe across the street from the University. We had a good time, and continued to hang out here and there throughout the continuing week. That weekend he invited me over to study and chill at his apartment. As you can imagine, not a whole lot of studying got done and it was more talking and flirting.
  
  Eventually things led to the bedroom (after two months of having nothing at all, I was pretty eager but of course played it cool). We were making out on his bed and he was cooing sultry things in my ear and I was totally digging it. He inquired about my role playing fantasies and after openly answering I asked what his were. At this point, he began to hold me a little tighter and chuckled to himself.
  
  He gruffly whispered in my ear, "what do you think is darker than a girl and her daddy"?
  Me: "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what?"
  S: "I want you to guess. I want to hear it come from your lips."
  Me: "S, I'm not really sure what you want me to say. Her cousin? Uncle?"
  S: "No.....keep guessing." *tighter hold*
  Me: "Look, this is a little weird...."
  S: "mmmmmm her brother."
  (In my head) *WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT?! Are you kidding me?! eeew eeww ewww gross*
  (What I actually said) "I can't really say I could even try to get into that."
  
  He immediately rolled over and became incredibly butthurt over it. I took it as a cue to leave (don't mind if I do). He insisted (a tad harshly) that I stay. After a couple more attempts to retreat from the apartment, he got really upset and could not understand why I wanted to and insisted that I was being incredibly rude. So, never having been in a situation at all like this, I took a page from the book of shameful cliches and excused myself to the bathroom.
  
  I immediately sent an SOS text to my friend. Not feeling like I was in any real danger I told her the call could wait a very short while to alleviate some obviousness (yeah right). Fifteen minutes later, my phone rings and my friend is screaming and crying uncontrollably because she was having a major panic attack (she was a great actress).
  
  I told her I would be right over and began to make a mad dash for my things. He wasn't an idiot and didn't buy my story at all and as I closed his door behind me, he was still loudly calling me a lying bitch. Yeah, okay man.
  
  He continued to text me the rest of the day calling me a bitch and a slut and that he was going to tell my friend that we slept together and that I was saying terrible things about her behind her back. Dude, who do you think you are? You're 22 years old and you're really going to try to pull that shit with me and my friends? I don't think so.
  
  That next weekend, someone in their apartment complex was throwing a party and he showed up incredibly drunk and started shouting at my friend about much of a slut her "bitch" of a friend was and blah blah blah. Apparently he had already pissed off some other people in their complex and was clearly making an absolute ass of himself.
  
  He was forcefully thrown out of the party and the next day was told that while they had no power to get him evicted, he was no longer welcome in the complex. Less than a month later, he moved out. I also never saw him in lecture again so I assume he just started going to the earlier one. HA!
  
  I will occasionally see him around campus, but he usually doesn't see me or at least doesn't acknowledge me, which I can't say upsets me in the slightest. While this experience was very strange and a little scary, I have to say that it really showed me how absolutely inappropriate and crazy guys can be, though I of course realize that this was an especially ridiculous scenario. WHOA!
  
  And of course by now everyone is very over the whole ordeal and it was never too big of a deal for very long afterwards either. Live and learn!
  
  What is the most revolting thing someone has said to you in a feeble attempt to turn you on?

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