Thursday, 13 September 2012
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Dating an Ex's Family Member
This post was submitted anonymously.
In my opinion, dating an ex's family member is just asking for trouble and making the situation so unnecessarily awkward. I think the world is big enough where people can find someone unrelated to their exes. So some claim that the heart wants what it wants and they can't help their feelings, but you CAN control how you handle the situation.I'll admit that I've actually crushed on two brothers around the same age, but never actually took it as more than just a small crush. The only way I could see this working out is if let's say for example Nadia was only a fling to Dan and Dan didn't care about her as more than a fling so his brother Drew could date her if he wanted.
Honestly, if I were the guy and a girl was hitting on me and she had already gotten with my brother, I wouldn't touch her. It's like basically having sex with my own brother; she's just in the middle separating us. Sloppy seconds aren't my thing, especially sharing exes with family.I have seen a couple of posts where people actually date brothers or people date cousins and have serious relationships with both of them, too. And they've all turned out to be bad situations in the end. Have you ever known anyone to date siblings or cousins and it actually end well?
It's hard enough to keep good friends around. Friends come and go, family is for life whether you like them or not.
What do you think about dating an ex's family member? Agree/Disagree?
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Comments (23)
I think it's the person who matters... not the little bullshit complicating factors of what other people might think.
I couldn't do it but to each their own.
I couldn't do it. My sister works with this guy who just notoriously hooks up with girls and him and my sister have hooked up. He's hit on me a few times and has expressed slight interest, but I could NEVER do it. This is the second time it's happened with my sister and I and I haven't been able to do it either time. She hasn't told me it would upset her, but it'd upset me being with someone who had been with my sister haha. Especially since we've had some guys say that they'd want to sleep with both of us (separately I hope, but who knows) just to say they've done it.
@Foodhog@xanga - *Unless it deviates too far from my own, then to each an insult.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - ew you would get with the same person someone in your family has been with?
And I don't find that a "small" thing. It makes holiday gatherings, etc. awkward.
"Hi cousin, your mom and I used to bang back in the day." - uncle
@T3hZ10n@xanga - http://www.datingish.com/767725186/my-so-called-family/
Have you ever seen the Jerry Springer show? That's ALL they do on that show.
But in response to your question, no I would never date someone that had even kissed one of my brothers. Ick...
I don't even date my friends exes, so I wouldn't bother dating my sisters ex boyfriends. I just find that too.. close to comfort.
I think it's disgusting. Also complicated. Say I was the mother of 2 sons who dated the same girl... she wouldn't be too welcome in my home,for the second time around. I'd have no respect for her.
My best friend's brother dated his ex. I think it's so weird - I mean, why would you even want to? You'd constantly see your ex at family functions, and their parents would have to accept you and welcome you all over again. Like you, I think there are so many other people out there to choose from, why go for your ex's family members?!
no, I haven't, but for the nth time, I'd have a threesome with sexy twin men. I don't have siblings. the twins can have me all to themselves
@Guest - There's only 1 person I would ever "get with", but if those were the circumstances they wouldn't stop me.
Whoever would even consider such a thing needs to sign themselves up for an episode of Jerry Springer so I can watch them get pulverized publicly on TV. And then they need to look up what the definition of "family" means. I don't care how serious/non-serious a relationship was, you just don't go there with family. I have absolutely no idea WHY would a sibling even consider dating someone who had a one year and three month relationship with his brother which ended badly.
Too awkward. If you decide to marry the person - think about the future family reunions, etc. *shudders*
If all parties are mature about it, I don't see why it can't work. Then again, I'm the kind of guy that wouldn't give it a second thought if my best friend wanted to date an ex gf of mine. I'm not with her anymore, why do I care who she dates? Well, I guess I would care up to the point that I wouldn't want her to end up with someone bad for her (abusive, etc) and I wouldn't want my friend to date an ex that I thought was a bad person.
I could see it being awkward and complicated, but I don't see anything gross or icky in it. If people were skanking around, cheating, etc THAT aspect is bad news, just like it would be if there was no sibling issues. but if one relationship ends and then another begins...what's the big deal?
"Honestly, if I were the guy and a girl was hitting on me and she had
already gotten with my brother, I wouldn't touch her. It's like
basically having sex with my own brother; she's just in the middle
separating us. "
bit of a weird way to put it. I'd have just said "I wouldn't want to make things awkward between me and my brother" LOL.
@TheNightOut@xanga - haha, probably to portray how gross it really is. i'm glad i don't have a sister/single cousin around my age to have to put up sharing interests with family members. :)
I flirted/had a mutual crush on this guy during my freshman and sophomore year of high school, and then was in a serious relationship with his older brother when I was a freshman in college. it was never an issue.
I honestly wouldn't care if either of my sisters wanted to be with my exes. Though I'd warn them that they were douche bags
But yeah, wouldn't hold it against my sisters or anything. I'm happily married and ties cut with exes are cut. At least in my life.
I agree with the people who said this seems like a Jerry Springer show waiting to happen.. I couldn't do it. For one, I couldn't stand knowing that because he was with me, his family might be angry with him or with myself. I don't date for fun, I date hoping that maybe I'll find someone to fall in love & start a family with. I honestly couldn't do that knowing that his family wouldn't like me or that my ex would be there at every family function or whatever..
There are circumstances in which this might be ok, though. Like if the relationship was never serious to begin with & there were no hurt feelings, or if you dated one forever ago & then fall for his cousin or something & you know your ex has moved on & had girlfriends since then or whatever. Basically, if the ex, the current love interest & the family members are all ok with the relationship, then sure. But if you know this won't be the case, move on.
I thinks it is morally and ethically wrong. I don't mean to be mean here but it is selfish and immature. Unless God himself appeared in front of me and said "Your Ex's brother was literally made by Me for you as your soul mate", I would never go there or recommend it.
I agree with you... I wouldnt touch anyone who has touched a family member of mine... and I wouldn't do it to someone else. Bad, icky, awkward.