My little sister and I were discussing my recent break up with a starving artist type guy when she told me, “You know Ray, I’d like to see you date a lawyer or a guy who is pre-med!
You graduated from college so you can date guys like that. Me, I’m a 20-year-old divorcee with a kid and no college degree, so I can date like... a store manager at QFC who likes to skateboard.” This got me to thinking,
do we look at prospective relationships in the same way as prospective job opportunities? I told my sister that she can date absolutely anyone she wants to because she is cute, curious and intelligent. Any guy would be drawn to her not only for her beauty but for her intelligence. She doesn’t need a degree to show how interesting she is!
Still, I think women sometimes feel a need to measure up to their competition. We can put ourselves down based on our lack of education and assume that someone with a college degree wouldn’t find us interesting.
Do you think your dating pool is limited to people with the same educational background as you?
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for a second i thought datingish was hiring.
The heart wants what it wants. Who cares if they're a skateboarder or a doctor.
I limit my dating pool to people who are sufficiently interested in intellectual pursuits. This often also limits it to those who are academically inclined and have at least started college, but I wouldn't be opposed to dating a high school dropout if they still valued learning and knowledge.
I understand what you are saying. My first marriage I had such a poor self esteem that I married someone very poorly educated. Those were the types of guys I dated. I figured anybody smart wouldn't want me. Well, surprise, I am now dating an extremely smart guy and he thinks I am smart too.(points for him). He makes me feel good about myself. This is the happiest I have been with any guy. So I guess my two cents is. Don't limit yourself to such and such. It just takes two hearts that connect.
i'm pretty sure everyone's already fully aware of my feelings on the subject, so i'm going to refrain from comment this time around. i will say this though...if anyone has any doubt that the quality of college-educated girls is greater than that of non-c-e girls, take a 5-minute browse through some profiles on okc. if you still disagree, chances are you're not too bright yourself.
When you think of it that way, you are only limiting yourself. Shoot for the stars and see who will want to be with you. Just know what your standards are and that they are reasonable without selling yourself short.
I don't really care. I like tall, sexy, and sincere guys. if he's the size of a keebler elf and looks like an ogre, but is smart, friendzoned. my boss crush is smart, went to prestigious colleges, respectable, high rank at my work place, tall, gorgeous, dreamiest smile I've ever seen, likeable personality, and just an absolute charmer*sigh*, thus he is my crush
but he's married for the time being. I bet a ton of lustful women are waiting for him to get a divorce
prepare yourselves for the stampede at the hallway when he is available!!!
So if you met two guys
Guy A) One who is extremely educated and well off, but he treated you like you were worth nothing
Guy B) One who is poorly educated and barely knows the basic grammar rules, but treats you how you want to be treated....who would you choose?
I don't write off someone because of the "lack" of intelligence. I write off people in how poorly they treat me. Now it's obviously a lose lose when a guy is dumb and a jack ass...he's got nothing to lose, so he stays that way, lol.
However, I would prefer, people who are educated and treat others with respect if that exists.
One of my old friends used to date this guy who was really dumb. He didn't even know how to spell simple words, but that didn't matter to her. She ended up breaking up with him because he would rather smoke weed and play video games all day long, etc. for those types of reasons.
Success, material possessions, money, achievement... Means little to me. Intelligent? Sure, I like someone who I can hold a conversation with. It's the personality trait that I like. I couldn't give less than a shit about status as I'm not dating someone to get money out of them or to look good to other people.
I don't have many aspirations myself, so in a way I'm more interested in a chick who is the same way. Relatable and doesn't demand shit from me as I wouldn't demand shit from her either. Only thing that I count is how she treats me and how I treat her.
As Dave Chappelle once said: "If a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house."
I'm not looking for a woman who aspires for the house.
mcdreamy :)
having ambition/being ambitious is a personality characteristic. no drive, no passion for life for self improvement, no goals, no nada, why not just be scrambled eggs and at least be useful for someone's breakfast
I date people who are interesting to me. An interesting person doesnt always have a college degree. For me it's about who you have a connection with.
My boyfriend didn't go to college and has a great career. He is highly intelligent at that. I had a boyfriend who didn't have a college education as well who when he wrote me love poems, almost every word was mispelled! That didn't last. When we broke up, that was one of the things I was happy to be rid of. I dated a guy with a degree and who had travelled the world! We didn't work out.
So what I'm saying is that education isn't something I look for. I'm not asking if they have a college education and will leave them if they do not. However if they're a dropout from high school, it isn't happening! Simply because who goes to school just to drop out right when they are nearly finished?! All that time for nothing! What is that? How stupid can you be?! Anyway, as long as they have goals and are pursuing them and intelligent as me or more (love a man who teached me new things), that is good. A man needs to be able to keep up an interesting conversation. College education or not.
When I used okc, one of the common question was, "does your potential dating partner have to have a college degree?" You'd be shocked at the number of people who said yes. I think it's ridiculous. Just because you didn't go to college, it doesn't mean you're stupid or even that you're not making enough money. It means you either didn't have the money or you're interested or in a trade that doesn't require schooling.
But then, I also used to get red flagged on the question, "Do you spend more PER WEEK on clothes or food?" because I answered food.. but then, that told me that the person probably lives in his mother's basement & hasn't bought his own groceries in years. So whatevs. ;P
Oh, I forgot to add that some people may not go to college to save money and they can prove how intellectual they are in other ways. One of my friend's dad never went to college, but he has his own successful car repair shop he built right at home without needing a degree at all. I don't necessarily have to go to college for what I want to do, it just gave me better chances of being selected. I would have just started my own business if I couldn't find something under someone else because I didn't have a so-called college degree.
Anyone can date anyone. Sure, some people put jobs and such into perspective, but not everyone is like that. I am glad my boyfriend isn't. I have been working the same place for over 3 years and barly make over min wage, but he is still with me :) Then again, we are still young and I plan on getting a much better job.. Not job, career. And your sister is young too, just because she has a kid and divorced doesn't means he cant date whoever she wants to.
I think it would be hard for me to date someone with no college experience whatsoever. It has nothing to do with intelligence, but everything to do with life experiences and mindsets. It's hard to explain, but it's like dating someone from another culture. It's kinda hard to relate to someone when you don't have that connection.
At least... that's how it is for me. I'm a bit of an intellectual, so I find that I relate to people differently than others....
I think my dating pool was vandalized and closed down permanently.
Not always, but sometimes. For me, a college degree is indicative of motivation, responsibility, and ambition. If you can demonstrate that you have these things and enjoy your job without a degree, then by all means you are not limited. These things are necessary in a SO, though.
It's cheaper, but when it costs a lot, I still benefit the most.
The sex is always exactly how I want it.
I just wish I could cook. If anything ruins this relationship, it's going to be my cooking.
Sadly, education matters to me. I think it has to do with values. If the person I like doesn't have a college degree or doesn't try to better himself by aspiring for the best then he isn't my cup of tea. Its hard to relate to someone who doesn't at least see things your way. However, guy friends that are the complete opposite of you in values and ambitions are accepted. But only as friends...yes, I do have a friend that is my polar opposite and we get along fine. I would never date him though so thats why this works...
@IntoTheWind1@xanga - *snickers* "the sex is always exactly how I want it." Do you do OTR Doug and have the sleeper thingy? I suppose the most you can get in there would maybe be a microwave right? I'm not knocking you here, ok. I'm not much of a cook either, but the sex is always FUN. lol
@T3hZ10n@xanga - Vandalized? Damn them grafiti artists.
I suppose I should actually answer the question huh?
No, I don't feel my dating pool is limited, even though I am married.
Date who you are happy dating and if that is a skateboarder the good for you. By the way there is nothing wrong with skateboarders. I use to skateboard daily, it is a great work out and it is awesome to learn how to balance if you have balance issues. It takes some talent to skateboard. However if that is not your thing and you want a serious business or doctor like guy then go for it. These guys are normally stable and know where their priorities lie. In the end all that matters is if you are happy. Also everyone is special and beautiful, ladies don't lower your standard because you don't think you are pretty or smart enough!