There's a scripture that loosely reads, "seek and you shall find." While its full meaning is one of slight difference, I've always kept that in the back of my mind. So I'm often cautious on the things I question and want further information on. I've seen way too many relationships fall apart because of a wandering mind that led to their curiosity.
If I'm honest, I'd describe myself as a very curious and cautious person. In the past, it's been both a blessing and a downfall for me. I'm the type of person that questions almost everything. I don't want partial information, when I know you can give me all the details. I guess that's why things like surprises, nag the hell out of me.
But when I contemplate on whether curiosity has ever killed this cat, I can honestly say, no. Mainly because what I suspected, was already brought to my attention on its own. So there was nothing I had to go looking for clues on. But I do know of people who do; both men and women.
My ex for example, had this annoying habit of always picking up my phone. Which I didn't mind, because I had nothing to hide. But, when I noticed he wasn't just picking it up because it was there, but to actually find something, then I became bothered. He would go through my texts messages. Question names in my phone book. But, let me pick up his phone to just make a call and all hell would break loose. See, he was the type that snooped. Probably out of his own guilt, or just nosiness. That was never my thing.
I even had a friend of mine who would go through her boyfriend's drawers, or look through his phone whenever he left it unattended. And I've always questioned: Where is the trust when you feel the need to be sneaky to find things you don't think your partner would reveal on his/her own?
My mom has always told me, "Regina seek and you shall find. NEVER look in a man's things without his knowledge, because what you find may very well be your own downfall." Now, I've looked at that from two different perspectives: 1) Don't look for something you may possibly regret coming across when you find it. 2) If you have to be sly and search through your partners things, you're already doing two things wrong: not confronting the person about your lack of trust AND being in a relationship where there is none.
Have you ever been killed by your own curiosity? Was it something you came to regret or was grateful for?
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I've never felt the need to search through anyone's things. When I think of the statement, "curiosity killed the cat." I think of the times I ignored my instincts and allowed my head and/or curiosity to lead me. If I don't trust someone enough, I just wouldn't be in a relationship with them.
Yes, and I ended up confronting the person about it. :/
Please learn how to use the comma correctly.
--Yao Wentiao
Meh, I think snooping is okay. Probably because I trust no one. :P
I don't have to sneakily go through his things...he actually gives me his phone right to me. He can see what I have in mine, too. I don't have anything except for pictures of his family jewels he sent me and pictures of him/his nephews/sisters, while hanging out with them and wherever I go to take scenery pics. He also gave me his e-mail password a while back to do things for him when he wasn't by a computer. And we aren't even an "official" couple.
I will never regret snooping through my ex's stuff... If i hadn't, I would not have found out he was sleeping with a 14yr old, and how much of an ass he actually was...
As for my hubby.. we use the same computer, different browsers... and yep I snoop through his FB, but he does mine too.. We have nothing to hide.
I dont snoop though my boyfriends stuff, but I do basically have access to all of his accounts because he doesnt keep his password private to me. Although I have never asked for them. I do go onto his facebook, but that is because I play games on his account as well as mine :) But no snooping.. I dont need to, although maybe if he were acting different it might be a different situation, but he doesn't and I trust him.
I don't snoop because I trust him implicitly, which is kind of essential seeing as he lives five hours away. We talk everyday and I have no reason not to trust him. I would be seriously pissed if someone snooped through anything of mine. If you ask, I'll show you, but I do not appreciate people going behind my back and going through my messages or internet history. That's a gross invasion of privacy and I would probably end the relationship.
@Yao_Wentiao@xanga - thank you for that , we all being children needing teaching. So kind of you to take it upon yourself to make right someones mistakes. Do you feel better now, or just superior?
@Blue_Moon1@xanga - The real question here is not whether or not I feel better, but, do you feel better? Do not mistake my terseness with malevolence.
Fucking idiot.
--Yao Wentiao
P.S. -- "someone's"
if your boyfriend snooped through your phone but freaked out when you touched his, take it from one who knows, he was cheating on you.
Snooping has broken my heart many a time. I just don't bother with it now. I probably wouldn't want anyone snooping in my stuff either anyway.
Been married 34 years. I've never looked through my spouse's personal stuff nor at his text messages nor at his phone history nor thru his pockets, etc. I trust him.
"seek and you shall fine"...I was curious on what I got on this exam and I thought I did well. It was a math exam which is not my strongest area. I did horribly. I found out by looking at my teachers grades. This was back when I was in public school. This result ended up ruining the rest of my day and my nights sleep. I had to focus on the next school day.
sometimes snooping is fine
= led me to what i need to do with a now an ex boyfriendWhen you snoop it doesn't necessarily mean that your relationship is bad, lacks trust and that you shouldn't be in it. Some people are insecure and checking their significant other's phone every once in a while helps them to be reassured. It's a concern if their insecurity never gets any better but sometimes it helps people who have trust issues because of their past.
I don't snoop to snoop. I mean I am never looking for something I would regret seeing because I know I wont find it. I looks through his stuff because he has cool stuff to look though XD.
I always have been and always will be a snooper. And yes, I have read things on occasion that have hurt - but never anything bad enough for me to confront him about it. Maybe it is a downfall, but i'll never change.
Curiosity definitely got a hold of me, and took a turn for the worse.
My boyfriend gave me his Facebook password, and a message signal popped up. Automatically, when you give someone your password, that's a free pass to look through everything. Well, to me, anyway. Anyways, I pulled up this message, and it was an exchange of several messages with him and a girl. He dated her for a few weeks even though we really crushed on each other, but never made it official. When we figured out our feelings, he said he'd never talk to her again. Well what do you know... 5 days after he and I started dating, he and her were talking. She asked if he still felt the same way about her and if he was breaking up with her.. so he was dating her even after we got together officially and he kissed me. This broke my heart. Not only did he lie about never speaking to her again, but he made a stupid move. I confronted him instantly, and he said he was going to break up with her but he felt bad. So that really really hurt, mostly because he was a bit of a coward about breaking up with her and he lied. We got through that, though, and now we're stronger from it.
@lovelikerockets422@xanga - I would have left his ass. It's not getting stronger from it. You're just letting him think he can get away with it when he does it again. What if he's still talking to her now and you just don't know? You did find that message even after you guys were official after all.
Too many to list... but it's a demon that we all can't control, right?
im so guilty of this, but I do agree with your statement,
[[My mom has always told me, "Regina seek and you shall find. NEVER look in a man's things without his knowledge, because what you find may very well be your own downfall."]]
I agree, now I see my faults and ive been working hard on correcting it.. though i must admit my curiosity gets the best of me sometimes, but i have a talk with myself and fight the urge to go snooping cause i think about the roles reversed.
Don't snoop, don't snoop, don't snoop. Because chances are, if you're already suspicious, or far enough into thinking that something is wrong, any tiny little text or message, or facebook friend request will send you spiraling into a twisted pool of your own regrets.
It's not worth it. If they haven't shown you something, its because they find it personal. If you want to see something, ask!But snooping never did anyone any good.