Sunday, 09 September 2012
"You don't want me. You want the other guy. You want someone who has got it all together. Someone who is much better off than I am." I'm the type of guy who takes into serious consideration the fact that everyone has their standards. Standards in living, standards in dates, etc.
I think most of the time, people want someone that's got it all together. Their money's right, they live life the right way, they are exciting, romantic, they have a house, a car, a job, etc. It's based on this that I often say, "You don't really want me. I'm not good for you. You want someone better." It's more a matter of making sure I am enough for myself before I give myself to anyone else. It's acknowledging that if you date me, you might possibly regret it due to those little unsatisfactory details.
I hate that I talk about women more than men, but I have a feeling that if there is anyone that does the "being distant" thing the most, it's guys. Ladies, I want to see to it that you have the type of man (or woman) that you deserve to have. You should have someone that you could really be happy with and someone that can offer you what you need. The constant question is whether they have the "it" that you look for.
Here is what I often notice: 1) I'm making the mistake of telling you what you need and like, when you know good and well what you need for yourself and 2) I'm giving you an assessment of myself before you got a chance to get used to me. This is what most people, especially ladies, do that makes us feel better. Instead of just taking us at our word, they strive to find the good in us that can transcend all that we don't have.
I remember doing this with my girlfriend. I'm not ashamed to say there are so many things going on with me that I sometimes prefer she'd be with someone whom I felt was better. I don't want her to feel like I'll disappoint her with my shortcomings. I'm socially anxious at times, eccentric, money-starved and sometimes have depressed spells over my situations. But despite what's been going on, what keeps me going is her assurance that I'm the type of man that she wants to marry someday.
Everyday I become thankful for her ability to take her chances on me and it makes me want to be a better person. But it took me a while to really understand this.
There was a scene in the movie Selena, where Selena's boyfriend forewarned her that he wasn't any good for her and she shouldn't be with him. But no matter what, she held on to him because she was in love. This is where I need a huge explanation: If someone is trying to warn you that they aren't good for you, why would you hold on?
I guess it's all about the fact that even though we judge ourselves a lot, the best part is having someone who is willing to take a chance on you.
They say that the period when you aren't at your best is when you find out what kind of person you're dating. Do you agree or disagree?