When I was a freshman in college, I got my first-ever serious boyfriend. My close friend, who knew I was a virgin,
told me that I should absolutely have some alcohol before having sex for the first time.
I should have listened.
Losing my virginity was one of the most painful experiences of my life, and I've had major surgery. I don't quite know why it hurt that badly...perhaps I wasn't lubricated enough? It hurt terribly, and I ended up making him stop. And when we tried again a few days later, it hurt almost as badly, although we officially 'consummated our relationship' that time.
Some women experience pain as bad as mine or worse. But there are other women whom I envy so, for whom it didn't hurt at all. Most women, I imagine, are somewhere in the middle.
There are several factors that contribute to the pain involved when a woman loses her virginity. For example,
if your hymen has torn previously through physical activity, it may not be as painful and you might not bleed. Also, if you've had foreign objects in you previously, like fingers or a fist, your vagina will be at least slightly more used to penetration and as such more accommodating.
I've always wondered if there might also perhaps be other factors. Like the alcohol previously mentioned, or drugs, or the lubrication. Or maybe even the position - almost everybody does missionary for their first time, but might it have been easier with girl-on-top so the girl could control it?
Ladies - how badly did your first time hurt?
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It didn't.
It felt strange... the best explanation I have is that it felt like my vagina was a balloon and someone was putting a finger into it and stretching it out. But it didn't hurt. I also didn't bleed (I did, however, bleed awhile later while being fingered, and I suspect that I managed to retain my hymen through my first PIV sexual experience...)
My boyfriend made it a point to make sure I was well lubricated (naturally, but still) and also made it a point for me to be on top and "in control." Both of those things probably made a difference.
Mine didn't hurt at all actually.
Didn't hurt at all. I was aroused, we'd been fooling around for 4 months prior, and it was very unlikely I still had a hymen due to menstrual cup use for 3 years (though virgins can be born without hymen, with partial or broken hymen, and hymen can break from regular day to day activities like bike riding long before sexual activity). If it makes a difference, I was on top, as well as the initiator so I had all the control too. It wasn't great, but it definitely wasn't painful.
Just wait until you have a baby!!
I honestly don't remember much of my first time, it was not exactly something I'd wanted at the time either, so probably the rush of adrenaline and unwillingness my body had made it less painful. I do know I bled, quite a bit..
didn't hurt me at all. we did plenty of foreplay ahead of time and i was CRAAAZY aroused. i'm also pretty sure i had lost my hymen years before in gymnastics.
Everybody is different, I know mine hurt like a bitch.
The first time I tried to lose it, it hurt really bad and I told the guy to stop...so I was still a virgin. The guy was a major asshole and I'm really glad it didn't work with him. He kept going around telling mutual friends how I kept saying, "ow ow ow ow" lol because that's how much it hurt when he tried. He told me I should wait until I found someone I really liked and I kinda wish I listened. He was right in only that aspect. He told my friends how I "sucked" at giving him a bj...no shit dumb ass, he was the first person I ever did that to in my life. i'm not going to be an expert the first time. When I later on then tried to lose it to someone else, I don't think it actually hurt. Funny I didn't bleed either...after the 3rd guy I was with I think he actually officially tore it since I saw blood all over the place and was like wtf b/c i didn't bleed at all in the beginning. and the guy wasn't even that big either. i dunno.
the very first time did not hurt for me because i had to have a hymenotomy when i was 15 for medical reasons. however, the first ten times after that hurt quite a bit that i had to tell him to stop. i'm not sure why it did, i don't think i'll ever understand why.
@Guest - How does replying to a guest post work? Can you even see it? I thought I was the only one that experienced that. I couldn't convince the 4th guy that I wasn't a virgin because there was so much blood (even though there was no blood the first and second time we did it).
As for the original post, it hurt the first time, but the fourth time hurt more. It hurt, but there wasn't unbearable pain and I didn't feel the need to stop. The fourth guy felt more like I imagined it would feel to lose your viginity.
Maybe a little bit of alcohol, not like how I get when I drink :/ I cant even remember, but I dont think it hurt?... I dont know... :/
I'm 23 and still haven't gone all the way. I'm pretty self-conscious about it. I imagine, since I'm so small that just a finger is all I can really manage by myself, that I'm just going to have to grit my teeth and bear it the first couple of times.
Here's a quick anatomy lesson, your hymen is simply a piece of tissue that lines the vaginal opening and actually has an opening typically the width of a finger. It is not a hard piece of tissue that covers the whole thing and needs to be "broken", if it were there would be no way for menstrual blood to exit from the vagina. Your hymen stretches through things like intercourse, masturbation, and tampons or menstrual cups; your hymen never goes away. In order to be the most comfortable the first time you have sex, make sure to have some foreplay beforehand which would help the muscles relax and USE LUBE. LOTS OF LUBE. Lubricant is very important otherwise vaginal tearing can happen!
@Erika_Steele@xanga - Hey, yeah I can still see the comment. I browse datingish whenever I'm bored frequently to check up on other people's experiences to see if they had similar as me, haha.
I was actually shocked when I didn't bleed the first 2 to 3 times and had no idea what was going on the fourth time when that mess happened. I guess I was still technically a virgin since my hymen hadn't been broken until the 4th person, lol.
holy shit, you people can fit an entire fucking fist up there? why the fuck is everyone complaining about labor?
i really need to start watching more porn.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Good grief, you do not need to watch porn, you need some science lessons. A fist is a lot smaller than a baby's head AND hello... a fist does not involve uterine contractions working to spit out an entire human being.
If I remember correctly, my first time was really only as painful as getting my ears pierced, although with a bit more blood. I have had painful sex on occasion in the years since then, but almost every instance of that was due to not being fully aroused by the person I was sleeping with. Foreplay is hugely important (for both parties), as is actually being attracted to the person you're attempting to bump uglies with.
It hurt really bad for me and I actually cried after and there was blood D: But at least I was with someone who I loved so it wasn't too embarrassing.
The first thrust was like OH my god holy shit, but after that everything was fine(: I used to be an acrobat though, so I'm pretty sure that my hymen broke way back in the day.
I think a lot of people often forget painful sex, especially when losing your virginity can be attributed to vaginal tension of varying levels (persistent muscle contraction aka temporary vaginisms), normally just because you are nervous or stressed about the situation. It can be as simple for most people as finding a way to relax, although I know some who would most definitively say that easier said than done.
My first time didn't hurt. It felt like a pressure that gave way almost immediately. However, I did bleed quite a bit.
It took about two weeks for my boyfriend and I to have sex. I was a virgin and never used tampons before. We started with fingers, and eventually worked up to intercourse. We didn't use lube and I don't remember being that turned on, and it hurt. I remember my vagina like pulsing (if that makes sense?) as he was inside me. He didn't really move much inside me though because it hurt a lot and we were just relieved he got it in lol. A couple tries later and we got it down.
I broke my hymen masturbating at 15 -_0 (4 years prior to when I first had sex) so there was no blood.
Depends on how thick your hymen is. I had a very thin wall to begin with so I didn't even bleed. It hurt a little but I realized afterward it was because the moron just didn't get me wet enough.
Ugh, all this talk about the female bodily functions. Let's talk about taking a shit now, no? Unbelievable. I am thoroughly turned off.
It hurt a little since it was the first time anything's been in there. I never used tampons until after my boyfriend at the time and I broke up, but for the most part it wasn't too bad. He's about average size and I was pretty wet when it happen.