I'm a 21-year-old college student. The only wedding I've ever attended was over 10 years ago, when a close family friend who happened to be my kindergarten teacher got married in Canada. So I've thankfully never had wedding burnout.
Ah, wedding burnout.
The exhaustion you feel after attending far too many weddings in too little time. Generally, this happens in one's late 20s or early 30s, as those around you start maturing and taking the natural next step in their relationships. Recently, however, there has been an ageless increase in weddings - those of gays and lesbians.
While gay marriage is sill against the law in much of the country, it has been legalized in several states in the past few years. So
many couples have jumped at the chance - perhaps a few too many? So laments Brooks Barnes, gay man and too-frequent wedding guest in his July 22nd New York Times article "
I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do..."
Barnes, of course, recognizes that these are joyous occasions, but he's a little tired of the whole affair. Personally, I think he's being a little ridiculous. Is it really that hard to just say no?
Now, I know that it can be quite difficult to say no to a wedding, depending on the nature of your relationship. And yes, I'd probably be offended if you didn't attend my wedding just because you were sick of weddings. But I think that it should be fairly easy to avoid wedding burnout, as long as you were reasonably selective about which ones you attended.
But, as previously mentioned, I've never experienced wedding burnout. So I really wouldn't know.
Have you ever experienced wedding burnout? How should one avoid it? What do you think of Barnes' article?
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Comments (21)
I have only been to one friends wedding as an adult, and one family wedding. I went to a few family weddings when I was a kid. It hasn't hit in my world yet, but I don't really mind the celebration. I think it's nice.
i've experienced it quite a bit, luckily it didn't happen this summer to me. it kind of becomes a hassle, and annoying having to get all dressed up and sit through all the monotonous ceremonies back to back..weekend after weekend.
I absolutely love weddings. I don't find anything exhausting about them - they're such fun and happy occasions!
I hate weddings unless they're full of my bffs and there's booze and dancing. I can't stand conservative family weddings and I've had to go to five of them this past summer, bah.
I've only been to two weddings. I was a flower girl when I was a kid at a family member's wedding a long time ago. I went to another family member's wedding when I was a teen. some of my friends are in long term relationships but haven't gotten married. one of my cousin's got married but he didn't invite many family members since we aren't that close, which is fine, because it would be weird to go to a wedding and you barely know them, so you're just a seat filler and it isn't that fun. I'd only invite people that I have a persnal relationship/friendship with, no friends of friends. most of my coworkers are already married before I knew them, so not many if any weddings to attend. wedding ice age in my neighborhood
"I love weddings! Drinks all around!" - Captain Jack Sparrow
I'd rather go to "too many" weddings then funerals, and Ive gone to my share of both.
I think there was a trend with weddings a couple years ago to invite everyone you've ever known in your whole life.. the more guests the better! When we got married it was less then 30ppl, and perfect.
I'm 23 and single, most of my friends are in serous committed relationships. The talks of marriage are already occurring. One friend is getting married next year, which opens the doors to marriages after that when we all hit 25. I have not felt the burnout but I can imagine it getting redundant. Speaking from a single person's point of view it can be annoying seeing all the nauseatingly happy couples blinded by the bliss of a wedding and have no idea how much work a marriage entails. I think that's what irritates me, girls who are so happy about their wedding that they don't think beyond to how much work the marriage is. Anyway, ON THE bright side I like weddings for the unity of families and celebration. Also as a single person you get to mingle with other singles :p
If there's an open bar, I think I could definitely manage to spend time getting ready and sit through the ceremony. It's not like the ceremonies are THAT bad to begin with. I went to a Catholic wedding last month and the whole thing was over with in like an hour.
I like weddings, but I generally get tired after about an hour or so at the reception. I love weddings, parties, get-togethers, etc--but I need to recharge my socializing batteries, if you will.
Weddings are probably my favorite sorts of gatherings, though. All the ones I have been to have been incredibly meaningful and beautiful.
Don't really care for weddings. Been to one, don't know why I went. However, as I have two siblings, I've accepted that I'll have to at least attend two of them in my life.
It is interesting that somebody could bitch about too many events that they aren't required to go to.
I love weddings, my favorite part is the ceremony. I don't get invited to that many as most my friends eloped or have decided that marriage is not for them. Unless attending a wedding is required for him to keep his job, I don't see why he doesn't just decline most of them and only attend weddings of family and closest friends. (Or whichever ones he feels like going to.) That is kind of silly and pointless to complain about when it is not mandatory. However, I can see how having to attend many weddings can rack up some bills for gifts, outfits, travel and parking fees and such. But like some of the commenters pointed out, the writer does not have to go if he doesn't want to.
I'm looking forward to everyone getting married, and for one very big reason.
FOOD!!!!!!It very easily could have happened to me a few times, this summer included. I was in three weddings in the span of two months and attended another. Just enjoying the time that you have with family and friends keeps it from being too overwhelming. You won't always have time for big parties, lots of dancing, and food.
I'm 23 .. I have a few casual friends/acquaintances who are getting married next summer, but I don't think I'll be invited to their weddings with the exception of maybe one. My close friends are mostly single like me.
I can easily see myself getting burned out on weddings. I sound like a child, but the ceremonies are long and boring and the receptions are really hit or miss - some are great fun while some are totally boring and seem to drag on forever. It also doesn't help that most of the couples whose weddings I attended were divorced within five years.
Ugh.... I love weddings in terms of it being a party with cake, music, and an open bar. The problem starts when the couple to be wants you to help them make all the decorations and wedding invitations and deal with bridezilla and groomzilla attitudes. It is such a turn off to me now! Other times its an awkward party if people dont get up from their chairs and have fun. I'm also tired of baby showers which seem to go on for HOURS and after a while all the expected OOOoo's and AWWWwww's become obnoxious sounds you cant escape. I'm just really tired of these things.
@theladyofabundance@xanga - I feel much better knowing that I am not the only person who cannot stand baby showers. I only attend those of (really) good friends. The games, and gift opening...they're not for me.
Yes, burned out. I like weddings, they are a fun time, but enough is enough. Two sibs are engaged, a handful of close friends and two cousins this year. It's out of control.
You don't have to go. It's an invitation, not a requirement. The gift you give will unlikely pay for the expense the bride and groom spent on you to be at the reception anyway, so if you don't even want to be there save them the money and the bad attitude and DON'T GO.
I was invited to 6 weddings this year alone - 3 of them were out of state. It's not hard to do / plan for when they're over the course of the year, but it takes a toll on your bank account - BIG TIME.
My mom appears to hold the world record though - she tells me she got invited to a wedding once every weekend for 5 months straight.