When I was in the frame of mind that I was afraid of how men would treat me because of past abuse, I didn't bother getting in a serious relationship.  It was pointless and I didn't think it was fair to the men who would be in a relationship with me.  The only advice I can give you is that if you really want to be in a relationship with this man, then you have to stop looking for signs or ways that he is just like the others.  You have to stop looking for reasons to pick fights...I mean when you were wrestling, it is understandable you might get scraped by his toenail, he didn't plan it. If he does something that hurts your feelings or that you don't like, ask yourself if you are blowing it out of proportion, taking it the wrong way, etc. and then be a big girl and talk to him about it.  Then be honest about your past relationship.  Most men would be willing to work with you so long as you take responsibility for your actions.

wow, i don't remember you even being here in the first place, let alone your proclaimed temporary departure. 

while i balk at your suggestion that 2 months is "getting fairly serious", i'll tell you a short story that i hope will inspire you.  my parents used to drag me around to foreign countries until i was 19, at which point i said i was done--it's not necessarily that i was opposed to foreign travel, they just always insisted on going to 3rd world countries in hot, humid climates where i always got a bad case of the shits, and thought i was going to die.  (plus, i just don't like spending that much time with family.)  the last trip i took with my parents was to india--i remember being in a small shop in bumblefuck middle-of-nowhere, and seeing a small 8 1/2" x 11" poster that the owner had on the wall.  i searched for it now, and this is (approximately) what it said:

Lincoln was a champion and he never gave up. Here is a sketch of Lincoln's
road to the White House:


<li>1816 His family was forced out of their home. He had to work to support
them.
<li>1818 His mother died.
<li>1831 Failed in business.
<li>1832 Ran for state legislature - lost.
<li>l832 Also lost his job - wanted to go to law school but couldn't get in.
<li>1833 Borrowed some money from a friend to begin a business and by the end of
the year he was bankrupt. He spent the next 17 years of his life paying off this
debt.
<li>1834 Ran for state legislature again - won.
<li>1835 Was engaged to be married, sweetheart died and his heart was broken.
<li>1836 Had a total nervous breakdown and was in bed for six months.
<li>1838 Sought to become speaker of the state legislature - defeated.
<li>1840 Sought to become elector - defeated.
<li>1843 Ran for Congress - lost.
<li>1846 Ran for Congress again - this time he won - went to Washington and did
a good job.
<li>1848 Ran for re-election to Congress - lost.
<li>1849 Sought the job of land officer in his home state - rejected.
<li>1854 Ran for Senate of the United States - lost.
<li>1856 Sought the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party's national
convention - get less than 100 votes.
<li>1858 Ran for U.S. Senate again - again he lost.
<li>1860 Elected president of the United States.  [source]

why this poster was in fucking INDIA of all places is beyond me, particularly considering i have never seen it anywhere in america.  it turns out that a lot of the info is wrong, but hey, a lot of it is right, too.  in okinawa (or maybe japan, i don't know which), they have a saying:  nana korobi, ya oki.  fall seven times, rise eight times.  try not to let shitty experiences from the past bring you down. 

Every guy is unique. Every relationship is unique. You need to find ways to make your reactions to each new guy and relationship unique.

What is the tattoo of?

Hmm, if you're constantly running away from guys still it could be that you still need to spend more time on yourself.  Fix whatever makes you so insecure that every guy will do the same as the last, and overcome that.  Or just hold on with this guy and hope for the best.  If you truly like him then why not stick it out.  If it ends up badly then it ends up badly, but you never know it might end up great and you could be together for a long time.

I was definitely a wreck when I started dating my current boyfriend. I couldn't trust him, I got mad over silly things...I didn't let the past go. I've been hurt a few times in my life and I allowed those experiences to affect my relationship. It's not a good thing to let your past consume your present. I honestly don't know how I was able to get over my past while maintaining the relationship I'm in. It was extremely hard, and many times I wanted to run because I didn't want to deal with how hard things got. What helped me most was my boyfriend never letting me go when all I wanted to do was leave. I appreciate him so much for that. He showed me that all guys aren't the same, and if someone truly loves you, then they would never intentionally hurt you or let you go. If you really like this guy, then give him a chance; let things play out. If not, then you should tell him how you feel and move on without him. You should learn from your past and allow it to make you a better, stronger you. Don't be scared to get hurt...it happens! And please, don't get mad at stupid things because it's a waste of time.

Good luck!

Friends and lovers do fight. If they didn't there would be something wrong in their relationship. Φ ≡

I had a really bad relationship a while back. It was terrible. It took me a couple years to stop seeing my exes traits in all the guys I was dating. It was difficult and I didn't want to end up in that kind of relationship again. You just have to keep reminding yourself that your past relationship or relationships are over. This is a new person. He's different because he's not that past guy.

That being said, I still don't date guys that remind me of that ex. If I see more than a couple common traits, I don't stick around. Those guys aren't my ex, maybe they're better than him, but those particular traits aren't ones I want in my life.

If you like this guy over all and you think you can calm your flight or fight instinct down, do so. Meditate or something to work through all these feelings and energy. If everything in you is telling you that he's no good for you, find someone else. You're going to have to tap into the sources of your own emotions to really solve this one. If it's simply bad association, keep reminding yourself he's a different person and start associating him with being an interesting guy instead of a bad guy.

It's natural to have insecurities or fears but you have to realize that all men aren't the same and it may be hard for you to accept letting him into your life. You have to love yourself and trust yourself too. I would say try it with this guy, give it everything you have, and if it doesn't work out at least you can say you tried and you gained experience out of it.. also if this guy respects you and some girl is coming onto him or it's a girl that's texting him and it's beginning to be frequent, be honest with him and tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable and that they can be friends but they should keep the talking to a minimum.