Sunday, 02 September 2012
Why do people put so much emphasis on losing their virginity as though sex should be this ultra "special" thing? Is it because it's their first time experiencing sex? I know this girl Mary, who is so persistent on trying to get her ex Dylan back. They dated pretty much over 8 years ago and she's still stuck on him because he was her first everything.
I just want to knock some sense into this girl -- first times don't matter in the long run. She's one year younger than me and should know this, but I guess "love" is blind. I want to tell her that what she is experiencing isn't love but major infatuation. No person who truly "loves" her would make her be the other woman. She'll try to argue that it is real love, though -- maybe unrequited love at best.
During the 8 years, Dylan cheated on her with someone she worked with, she allowed him to use her to cheat on all his other girlfriends he was with. He's even cheated on his current girlfriend/wife who has his kid on the way, with Mary and several others. Mary still wants to try to fight for him despite all of that. Once you got him, now what? He's not going to stay faithful to you again.
I don't like Mary constantly blaming this guy saying he "used" her to cheat, when she ALLOWED him to use her. She could have easily gotten out of that situation, but she's so desperate. I also am disappointed in Dylan's wife. If I found out someone cheated on me the first time, I would have left long ago. Now Dylan and his wife have brought a child into the picture into an unhealthy environment.
Mary says that child's not going to have a good life, but allowing her ex to cheat with her, she's not helping the situation. She's even questioned herself, but still tries to win him back... I could never trust someone like that. If I were in her shoes, this battle would not be worth the fight. All I know is, this guy should be single for the rest of his life and rot. It makes my stomach turn that now he has a kid on the way.
That kid doesn't deserve a cheating scum father who probably won't even be there for the kid because he's too busy cheating on his wife. I wonder what his parents think of him, or if they even know how their son treats women. If my child treated women this way, I wouldn't defend him on it, and couldn't care less if he was my kid. That's just wrong; cheating on everyone he's ever been with. I would ask him why he even got into relationships in the first place if he's just going to cheat, cheat, cheat.
Was your first time "special?" Or did you not care? As for me, I got tired of being a goody two shoes trying to wait for something that doesn't exist. It may exist for others, but it doesn't exist for me. At 21 years of age, the first time to me was just a learning experience to not hook up with the wrong people after. I'm actually glad I didn't lose it to someone special and if we would have broken up, it would have been much harder to get over and I probably would have behaved irrationally like Mary.
I think it's more important who the last person you end up marrying is, not the first person you lose it to. I know some guys don't really care to make their virginity this special deal. I even knew one guy I went to high school with who went to Amsterdam and lost it at one of those brothels in Amsterdam. More often than not, most people don't even wind up marrying who they lost their virginity to.