Sunday, 02 September 2012
The backdrop of the story [compressed version] goes something like this:
Over a month ago I met a girl in a grocery store and we began to talk. I thought she was cute, but was not confident such occurrences turned out positive - Boy meets girl in a grocery store-type of fairytale. At the same time I came across a guy in a club [I know; already a story that will end poorly] whom also caught my interest. The guy captured my attention more, but I still talked to the girl.
Shortly after, the guy and myself became monogamous and I stopped talking to the girl. It wasn't long before the guy was already seeking an "open relationship" and so I told him good-bye. As soon as I ran into the girl at the grocery store, not that I was running to find her or seek her, I asked her out [Something about being hurt from the previously relationship gives you confidence].
So we have talked and we have hung out. We are trying to set up another occasion where we can hang out again.
More historical background:
-relationship with a girl: This was around the time I was questioning my sexuality and I was dating her for over a year. When I told her my doubts she was practically pushing me out of the relationship for me to have a man-fling, just to get it out of my system. Break-up - Different reasons.
-relationship with a girl: I told her my orientation in the early stages of dating and she seemed to dismiss it and put it out of her head. Well one super gay move and it all came crashing back. Intensely emotional fight - break-up.
-relationship with a girl: She knew before we started dating [I knew her through friends], but during our entire relationship, she seemed on edge about me associating with girls and specifically gay guys. Short leash. Break-up - Different personalities.
-relationship with a guy: I told him right away and he didn't mind at all. He's the one also in the story above. Break-up - He wanted to see other people AND me [douche-bag]!
I also know that with my orientation, if I continue to go from relationship to relationship, I have to break it to EVERY new person I am dating. This is where I feel like bisexuals have it the hardest. If you are homosexual or heterosexual, you never have to explain your orientation to the person you are dating. You also never have to expect a reaction to the discovery of your orientation.
I am a masculine bisexual. Girls and guys cannot identify whether I like men or not. Well I had one girl friend that was half right, which is besides the point.
If I am talking to a girl, they think I'm straight. If I am talking to a guy, they think I'm gay. [Tons of logic here.]
In addition, I have encountered most ladies to not prefer bisexuality for:
-fear of new competition; not only do they have to compete with other women, but now they have to compete with men. That is overwhelming.
-fear of being left for a guy.
-flamboyance and less than masculine moments.
-gender role duties not fully being complied or switched all together; and ladies want to be the female in the relationship, not the man.
SO, "When do I tell her I'm bi?"