I'm a sports lover. I watch ALMOST every sport there is and love going to an occasional game whenever my pockets permit it. On any given day you could find me in a sports bar during the NBA finals, or glued to the television when my Yankees are playing -- and don't even THINK about calling me for anything when Monday Night Football is on. Yes, it's that serious!
With the passion and excitement I have for men in team uniforms, I sometimes find myself looking for a guy who loves sports as much as I do. You would think that'll be easy right? WRONG! You'd be surprised how many men actually don't like sports. I wouldn't have believed it if I haven't witnessed a few for myself.
But should that hinder your decision on whether to progress?
Hmmm...it shouldn't, but it has. Not solely based on being a sports fanatics, but having things in common, period. And when that's the case, you often find yourself grasping at straws. Then, the little things become the ultimate factor in reasons to move on.
It's funny, this is usually a guy's conversation. But, I blame my brother. There are some women that have a need for some fun competition and rowdy conversation. Defending your favorite team in a relationship is not only a bonding experience, but an ultimate turn-on as well. I have friends who don't even like sports, trying to learn plays because they know their man will LOVE it! I have an ex who would look at me and laugh when I got mad, because he was stuck on a movie channel too long, when my Giants were playing.
I know choosing whether or not to date someone is often determined by many factors you take into consideration.
But has your lack of common likes or hobbies ever been one of them that caused it to be a deal breaker?
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You don't know men who likes the Yankees? lol Are you really from NYC?
@nepenthium@xanga - All 25-years of my life. I didn't say that. But, not all men like baseball--or sports for that matter.
I think common interests help. One of my exes and I had very little in common when it came right down to it. We could say we liked similar things, based on a general label, but we didn't even like the same things in those catagories. We both liked cartoons (no, we weren't children or even teenagers). He liked the new stuff, which is stupid-funny. I liked the old stuff, which is educated-funny (speaking in general terms. We both liked to read. He liked epic fantasies and books about DnD. I like books about horror and the paranormal. We like to watch movies. He liked action/adventure and fantasy movies. I like horror and comedy. We like to write. I write fantasy novels. He writes short stories from DnD games he's played out with friends. We liked to travel. He wanted to do it for the adventure. I want to do it for the overall experience (yes, we figured out they're quite different). Don't get me wrong, I loved the differences, but it left us with very little to agree on in the end. It was like someone was always compromising. We built our relationship on compromises, but when everything is either his way or my way, it gets old. It would have been nice if it was "our way", instead. For that, we both would have had to agree on an interest.Clearly not something we were good at, since we're not together anymore. It wouldn't hurt to have similar interests as well as the capability to compromise in the aspects that both partners don't see eye-to-eye on. I just don't see how having common interests would hurt a relationship unless they weren't really all that common to begin with.
I think common interests are incredibly important in a relationship. My ex and I had essentially nothing in common. In the beginning, we were bonded together by the fact that we were both in college and both liked to drink so we studied and drank together a lot. Then I pretty much quit drinking which put a serious strain on our relationship (sad to say) and then we were graduated. It didn't last long after that.
Now I have a friend who is dating a guy that she has essentially nothing in common with. He's very into computers, graphic design, photography, and technology in general. My friend isn't into any of those things - she loves to be outdoors hiking, kayaking, snowboarding, etc. Her boyfriend is out of shape and dislikes all of those things. They've been together for six months and she keeps asking him to try to think of stuff that they can do together and I just shake my head.
Personality is definitely important but I don't think there's much hope for people who have NOTHING in common. Having different interests is great, but there has to be some common point somewhere or else most couples will just grow further and further apart.
I broke up with a guy because he was a Steelers fan (I'm from Baltimore)...that, and he was a douchebag.
I think it's good to have some common interests, because it's something a couple can talk about and bond over. That said, having an interest that your significant other doesn't share isn't necessarily detrimental to a relationship, either. I spent some time learning about soccer when I started dating my boyfriend because he's nuts about it, and he spent some time learning about horseback riding and equestrian sports because that was something I liked. It allows you to learn a little bit more about your significant other, and even if you don't like it after trying to learn about it or whatever, it shows that you care because you made an effort to learn something about them.
I've never broken up with someone because we didn't have anything in common, but because they mistreated me. This new guy I am talking to he likes country a lot and he knows all the words to country songs, haha, while I don't know any to any country songs. The words I know the songs to are of a different genre. I've never fished before and I've always wanted to. The new guy likes to fish a lot, too. He's a big time fisherman. Not having a lot in common makes me want to get to know him even more.
My last person I was with I think we almost had too much in common, although when it came to music we both had no trouble at all agreeing on what to play. He's a big time sports fan, I'm not really, but I do like basketball and he likes basketball tons, too. I always see him wearing a basketball jersey that's how much he likes basketball.
i think it's important to have things you can do together and agree upon. one of the things i like about my relationship is that there are several things that we like to do together, but there are some things that we like to do without each other. especially since we live together, it's nice to do something apart from him, just to help me keep my sanity. i like that there are things that are just mine.
where are you looking for guys? maybe try something different. i don't know where to find these guys, though. i've never dated a guy who was into sports, but then it's never been an issue for me. however, they always seemed to have siblings or friends who were really into sports. weird.
It depends on how strongly you feel about your interests that are lacking commonality.
In your case, I'd say it's a problem, it is a part of your life.
If it was something along the lines of, I hate red, she loves red. e.t.c. That's not really an issue.
100% a dealbreaker. MUST have things in common, and these need to be active things you like to do together... and can sustain of a period of many, many years. I blame a large portion of our divorce rate on people who get married with no common interests other than they like having sex and want a lot of it. Simply put, you can't sustain a relationship or a marriage on only one shared activity. There's a phenomenon of late-marriage divorces that happen simply because the children have moved out, and the parents have nothing left to talk about... their marriage was all about the kids. I don't want to be in that position, and I absolutely will not date anyone who does not share a large percentage of my personal interests. I'm also a big believer in that the best bonding times, as you mentioned above, are in doing shared activities that both parties enjoy. When my dating friends tell me of the "If you do this, then I'll go to that with you" tradeoffs they are forced to constantly and consistently make with their partners, I nod sympathetically and prepare the tissues for a couple months down the road when my shoulder will be wet.
i could see this both ways. the dangerous side is that when you break up, your interests will now be tainted, and you may even have to see that person again frequently, depending on how small that world is.
Common interest brings you together but it's the ability to grow as a couple that will keep you together. Sure rock climbing brought my GF and I together to begin with and it is still our main passion but we work because we're constantly willing to try new things together.
I think there should be a balance. Having some similar interests is a good thing because then it gives you a chance to bond, talk about it and have fun. Having too many different interests in my opinion isn't good. From my experiences, it's a little harder to do things. I mean sure you can spend one night doing what the other person likes and vice versa, but overtime if it's something you genuinely don't like, then it becomes a little harder to bond.
The only interest that I have always insisted on sharing with a man I'm dating is that they are involved in some form of art. Not because I want to do art with him, even though that would be crazy-sexy, but because that's the only way they would understand my hopes and dreams. I spend a phenomenal amount of time throwing myself into art, like more than anyone should. If I ever heard complaints from a boyfriend, whether it be about the time spent, the money that goes into it, or the fact that I'm doing something that seems like "fluff", I'd have to leave him. Any other interest is negotiable. My boyfriend and I have that balance, where we're both artists, but he's also into science, and martial arts, and generally nerdy things like comic books and video games, but I'm into history, and outdoorsy things, and about a thousand other interests as well. So, we mesh well as long as that one thing that is my life's passion gets nurtured.
I think there should be a nice balance between having a lot in common or not having anything in common. It's kind of boring to have too much in common; because those differences are just as important as the bonding experience that comes from the same interests. He may like something I have never even tried, and what do you know? I learn something new and heck, I might even start to like it too! Even if I don't, at least I can say that I tried it. And that, to me, is important to have in a relationship. I want someone that I can grow with, who will make me a better person... Luckily, I have that.
Our personalities differ, but it's in a way that brings us closer together. We still find ourselves sharing many common interests, which is definitely useful in strengthening a relationship. There's also small ways we have shared uncommon interests that lead to my new found love for The Beatles' music; and his new obsession with country music. Not to mention the vast amount of movies I have seen and absolutely loved thanks to him introducing them to me; and vice versa. Granted, too many differences may cause problems, sure. But it all goes to show how well you can truly connect with someone, no matter what. Having that balance is like a key to a long and happy relationship. 
There at least has to be some mutual interests. I've dated lots of guys who enjoyed video games and action movies and animals as much as I do... but it never worked out anyways. 50/50. We have to get along great and there needs to be some common ground.
My boyfriend and I have tons of mutual interests. We both love video games, crazy action movies, and dorky things. We've gotten along well since the first day we met. He always tells me how awesome I am because he's never met a girl who's liked Minecraft, Assassin's Creed, and movies like Bourne and Expendables, or comics. Hah, I guess I'm a keeper? :)