I once had a college roommate who always had to be around her boyfriend. Everywhere they went, they went together. There was rarely a time you saw the two apart. She loved it that way. But you could tell that he wasn't always plastering a genuine smile on his face. Then, one day I found myself asking her out of curiosity...
Do you think there is such a thing as spending TOO much time together?
In the beginning of a relationship, you can't get enough of each other. You want to spend as much time as you possibly can in that person's presence. It's normal; the infatuation. It's a part of bringing one another closer together. The honeymoon phase.
But does there become a time when you value your time away from your significant other? I've always believed in giving people their space. Yes, I love you and want to spend as much time with you as I can. That's why we're in a relationship. But, we don't have to be connected at the hip. I enjoy missing you. Knowing that you have a life outside of me, but I'm where you'd rather be.
When I asked my old roommate that question, she looked at me as if she'd never pondered it. Which I'm sure she hadn't. She was clearly suffocating him. It had gotten to a point where he felt obligated to always have her near. She'd call him angry if he went out with his friends without her. Or if he even went to the store. It was a little much.
Have you ever felt smothered by your significant other? In a relationship do you feel giving space is an important factor? Image Source
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Comments (31)
Yeah, I lost a lot of friends by sticking to him like peanut butter to jelly. Now I'm here in some cafe just trying to kill time away from home so he can have space and study in peace.
In all of my relationships except my current one, I'd hang out with the guy about 3 times a week because that was what he was comfortable with. I'd say that is pretty reasonable, but I I always wanted more time.
In my current relationship I see my boyfriend everyday and I can't tell you the world of difference it is to be on the same level. It's nice to know he wants to be around me the same amount of time as I do him.
😞Yeah I felt that way in my last relationship I lost a lot of friends I was almost getting pulled away from my family because of the guy I was with at the time.
@reesa14@xanga - it's tricky to find that balance sometimes, one of my boyfriends was all about being with me as much as possible, and texting EVERY day without fail, another wanted to see me a few times a week and didn't care if we didn't text each other all the time. I myself prefer to see my boyfriend a couple times and texting each other when we feel like it, when I've just gone to a medical treatment I don't really feel like texting, I'll send a quick "It went well thanks talk to you later" but that's it
I like having my alone time. There is no way I'd ever survive being around a significant other all the time. It's definitely fun to hang out and have that best friend companionship as well as a romantic one, but I need space and I'd assume anyone I dated would, too. I would never date someone who was so insistent on always being around me.
Oh yes. My fling and I talked every single day for the longest time. We even saw each other every week even though he doesn't live in the same city as me anymore. We would argue a lot because of the fact that we talked every day.
If you love something set it free, if it comes back, it's yours, if it doesn't it never was.
However, my fling is one year older than me so I'm okay with him and we usually work things out. Right now we're taking a break talking and I think we really both need it. An old man is suffocating the both of us. He gets jealous of me spending time with my fling without him. I'm like, lmfao. He's delusional. I've known my fling longer than him and he's mentally ill to think I would go out with him in the first place.
I have another problem. I have a smothering 60-year-old man who refuses to leave me and my fling alone. I was out of town for vacation for one day. The stalker-old man texted me to have a great trip. I ignored him because he's always stalking my whereabouts. My fling even told me how the stalker old man asked about my trip and was concerned. I rolled my eyes. When I didn't respond to the old stalker for one day, the next day he blasted my phone with 5 texts saying, "Jess, I worry about you." I said, "No need." Then he said it again like the stalker way, "I worry about you a lot." I said, "Please don't waste your time worrying." There it was again, "I love you."
I called that ugly fat man and put him on blast told him I don't want to be seen with a dirty ugly old guy and that he needs to quit smothering me. It's never going to happen and he needs to get lost. I know they say, "Never say never." But it really will never happen. This old guy is a smothering old control freak who even flipped out when I left town with a GAY guy friend. When he told me he was upset I just took off with my gay guy friend, I told him to go to hell pretty much. I don't answer to him and the ugly fat man is nowhere near my boyfriend at all.
@Guest - how did the ugly old man get your number to text you anyway
Yes, and it isn't easy telling someone to go away as they will always take it personally. Humans *sigh*.
I believe that you should have a balance between being in the relationship and being outside the relationship (friends and family). I mean, there are some couples where both parties are happy to spend all their time together, But, for me, we both should have some "me time" or time to hang out with our friends.
i hang out with my boyfriend as often as i can. he's not just my boyfriend, he's my best friend, so i never get sick of him and he feels the same way (:
i love my space and i love having my own time to do what i want and just clear up my mind. i love spending time w/my so's but i still need my "me" time. it's good to take a little break from each other once in a while.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - Lol, Sooo...with him being 60-years-old, I thought he'd be mature enough to be platonic friends. That's not the case. Out of me, my fling and him, he's the most immature out of all of us. U'd think that with him being hecka old and the "wisest" he'd behave more rationally but he throws fits to try to see if I cave into him. I stupidly gave him my number thinking he wouldn't get crazy, but I should have seen the red flag coming when on the third day he ever knew I existed, he bought me a so called "expensive" pair of earrings and assumed we were in a relationship even though I never said yes to him and he never asked me at all.
Sometimes I'm too nice to people like, I don't write someone off immediately if I don't return the same feelings for him and I try to be their platonic friend. I'm out of chances for him. He's too immature and at the same time he's too mature, lmao.
I live with my boyfriend, so I see him everyday. lol. Although we do get some time to ourselves sometime, which is always nice. I like being by myself sometimes :)
I don't think you can have a successful relationship without each person having some space. I'm long distance with my boyfriend so personal space isn't really an issue, but we don't text constantly and we have opposing schedules which I think actually helps. I'm a morning person whereas he sleeps late, so it means I have my mornings to myself and he has his evenings to himself (I work lates and go to bed at around 10pm). We talk everyday but we also each have space to ourselves so we can do our own things.
I don't like spending too much time with my S/O.... or anybody for that matter. I've been blessed with a bunch of really wonderful friends, but I am the kind of person who needs a lot of alone time, and so I always have to be sure to schedule myself "me" days where I don't hang out with anybody at all. On those days, I usually end up going completely off the grid and don't really check my phone or social networking sites at all.
A guy who wanted to spend every minute together or texting/talking on the phone would be a total deal breaker for me. Living like that would drive me nutty.
yes.. there is such a thing as too much time together.. (and Ive been married for 8yrs!)
There are many days when my husband comes home from work, and Im suddenly desperate for a half hour alone (especially with 2 kids at home).. Even when we moved back to my home town and bought a house.. we had to wait the 2 weeks until closing, and then moving and finding a job.. within a month everything he did annoyed me and we were driving eachother crazy... Dont get me wrong, I love him and we text throughout the day while he is at work.. but dude, I need space!!!
My boyfriend picks me up every Friday after school, and comes over on Saturdays. I don't see him as much as I used to, because he doesn't go to school with me anymore since he graduated. It feels a lot different, but I am getting used to it. I like being with my friends this year, and then missing him so much that Friday is so much better because I get to see him after long school days.
I used to see him every single day, at school, and then on the weekends. We text during the days we don't see each other, but normally I have school.
My husband and I are both clingy, glued-to-the-hip types. It works.
I chalk it up to immature behavior when one clings when the other wants more space. If you both want to be together all the time, then its fine.
@Guest - check your carrier website or call and ask them to block his number
@SHEERROSE@xanga - I've blocked his number for on the Web site, but I think it says it's for only 90 days which defeats the whole purpose of the block feature if they're just going to automatically be unblocked. Yeah, I definitely have to call in to make it a permanent block.
Do the ish sites even try to edit things anymore?
My partner and I see each other every day. We still have moments to ourselves but it works for us. It's been this way our entire relationship.
@Saridactyl@xanga - I don't think they edit the things anymore like they do editing the things anymore as they do anymore.
@Saridactyl@xanga - Same here. We spend probably 5/7 days together and most of the time I stay at his apartment. I do come home usually 2 days a week for some space and to just chill at my own house. Plus I miss my dogs. lmao. But yeah, works for us.