Wednesday, 22 August 2012
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Is He Dating Other Women? Find Out First!
Apparently there are guys out there that think it is acceptable to date multiple women, and we women not only know this, BUT tolerate this. Maybe it has to do with the fact that we sometimes date multiple men as well. So if there comes a time when you want to be the only girl in a particular man’s life then you must speak up.We all get nervous asking questions about where the relationship is going, because we don’t want the guy to know we are even thinking about a ‘relationship’, or getting ahead of ourselves. The word “relationship” scares people. But say you have a great first date with a guy and you liked him, the day dreaming starts, and then he’s all you can think about. You don’t ‘think’ he is seeing anyone else because he seems so into you. After two more dates, he starts acting a little strange and maybe even distant.
Then you find out he actually has a girlfriend. WHAT. Anyone else confused? How did you become entangled in someone else’s relationship? The sad truth is that this happens more often than we imagine it would or could.
If you are looking for a one woman man, and you actually are dating with the goal of a relationship as the final outcome, you need to get these players off your radar. They are just looking for a good time on the side. Most guys, even if they are douche bags, will be honest about one thing, and that’s if they are interested in a relationship. However, they won’t say anything until they think you are becoming too attached or unless you ask them. So if you like a guy, try to get it out of him – it’s pretty simple.
Just ask him if he’s in a relationship with anyone. There are three plausible outcomes. 1) the answer is no, and the date continues as is. 2) he says he is seeing someone, but it's no big deal…in which case, it is a big deal and you need to find the exit sign, this isn’t a reality show in which you are one of 25 participants trying to get the guy. 3) he freaks out and says he isn’t looking for a relationship any time soon, which means he probably won’t be around too long either way, so save yourself the trouble!
Any other ways to find out if he's a one woman man?
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- From: realwomentell
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Comments (18)
this post is stupid.
and if anyone needs elaboration on why, i think you're stupid too. (yes, i realize this post isn't a d-ish original.)
actually, there is one nontrivial point here: if i was out with a girl and she asked on the FIRST DATE if i had a girlfriend, the first thought in my mind wouldn't be that she's looking for a relationship--i would think she's batshit fucking crazy. (or at the very least, super insecure.) seriously, who the fuck asks that?
that being said, i've gone into an interview and asked if they were hiring, so i mean...maybe i'm wrong on this one. (for those who are wondering, the answer to the question was no, actually.)
haha I think if he's dating other women, that's his business.
Any respectable man will make his intentions known, or simply drop the other women on the side if he is just interested in you. multiple dates are a sign of interest, women. But of course, this post goes to show just how little women know about men, but in return want men to know everything about them.With that being said, I've seen this post (a similar one) on here before.This post is brilliant.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - hahaha, i see what you did there.
Men are more attractive to women when they're already dating someone.
there's no other way but to ask him, if he really cares about you, he will be honest with you and if he doesn't care, then he'll lie to you but there's no use to go sneaking around to find out if he's seeing other people or not. just ask.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - hahaha that was amazing. there was this show on mtv in which people would put their friends on bad blind dates with actors from the show. one guy was on the show with a girl who was really poorly behaved at a restaurant, and then told people walking by (including the waiter) that they were a couple. your link reminded me of that.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - I loved that show. I always wondered how people could be so dumb as to not know they were being set up or how they put up with it for more than 5 minutes.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - what i thought was even dumber was the second season of exposed--that was the show with the lie detector. it was believable the first season, but in the second season, you could totally tell that everyone was trying way too hard to fake being surprised.
god i used to be such a whore for mtv dating shows when i was younger. i haven't watched them in years now though cause i'm not home enough to justify buying cable by myself :(
some guy did and admitted to me casually when I asked him what he did today. he said that he has been talking to and hanging out with a bunch of girls for just about the entire day. he previously told me that he liked me, but he's a player, so he tells all the girls the same thing. when he sensed that I was mad about him hanging out with all these other girls, he told me that those girls don't matter and that he likes me, which is what he most likely tells the other girls when they get mad and ask him what's up. he knew that I like him, so why would he brag about hanging out with other girls to someone, who likes him. that's the quickest way to get me to stop talking to him. he probably thought that I was going to compete with the other girls and try to win him over, but he isn't worth it. I stopped talking to him immediately, and I told him if he wants those other girls, then he can be with them. the next guy that I talked to was way better than him in every way and became my bf. this same guy recently wants to talk to me again. he says the same bullshit that he likes me and has been thinking about me. I was vying for his attention before but he ignored me, but now he wants my attention. he wishes that he can kiss my feet now
yeahbitch, that's what he gets for messing with the diva
:D
This is one of the reasons I don't have sex with someone right away. I want to know if we are on the same page. I need to spend some time with them and figure out if I want to go into a relationship with them. Then if I do, find out what they are interested in, as much by their behavior as by their words.
Because of the three date rule that is "Industry standard" these days, I really prefer to date guys I already know through other means first. Because it's rare to impossible that I am going to meet a guy, go on two dates and know whether or not I want to get into a sexual relationship with him.
It's not a timetable I operate on. If we like each other to date and get to know each other better without sex, then we're probably headed somewhere.
If all I want is a casual relationship, then it's not a big deal if he's seeing other women as well. But asking is the most logical and mature way to find out.
"Apparently there are guys out there that think it is acceptable to date
multiple women, and we women not only know this, BUT tolerate this.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that we sometimes date multiple men as
well."
^stopped reading, gg. 0 eprops
The word “relationship” scares people. But say you have a great first date with a guy and you liked him, the day dreaming starts, and then he’s all you can think about.....multiple dates are a sign of interest, women. But of course, this post goes to show just how little women know about men, but in return want men to know everything about them.
Just as a follow up to this article - I have to say that it is based on the fact that 4 of my friends have recently been in situations where they started dating someone, and found out soon after that the guy was actually in a full blown relationship with another women. So these guys weren't just 'dating' around - which is normal. One guy had a shared twitter account with his lady of 5 years. Another guy was 'separated' but still living with his ex-wife. Sketchy right? So I don't think it is uncalled for to ask a guy if he is in a relationship. Its more about HAVING the confidence to do so. First/Second/Third dates are usually fun, casual, and flirty. You can still keep it that way by asking him what his relationship status is, before you find out on twitter or Facebook.
Open relationships work, if they're truly open. What gets me is when a relationship is about ownership, and not about intimacy. If a guy were dating multiple women, and not letting me know this fact, then there'd be problems. But, if you're in an open relationship, you usually know it. And, if you're not tangled up in ownership, you enjoy it. I'd rather see a happy couple swinging than an unhappy couple feeling trapped because they are in a relationship, but feel they can't escape because they "need someone".
Long ago, dating men and women were encouraged to date many people.. to find out what type man/woman they were actually looking for. Now, it seems the young of today want to do a serial monogamy type of thing.. You date someone and become a relationship...until it breaks up and you move on.
In my opinion, this is a lousy way of dating. You learn very little of what type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with, there are tremendous pressures on the relationship from the start to make sure it is 'the one' and you are stuck trying to make a relationship work which was never meant to be 'the one' in the first place. It is so very limiting.
After you are married (after a looooong engagement) is the time when you stay true to each other. Until then, I don't think those of today's generation are really enjoying dating a number of people at once, as we did.
You are missing out!!!
Christy