Sunday, 19 August 2012
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Meeting Him for the First Time: I'm Scared!
I've been with my long-distance boyfriend for almost two years now and I recently just got a good bit of cash. I'm now able to afford a plane ticket for him to come up here! Sounds exciting right? I'm scared to death.My boyfriend and I are both unemployed at the moment so money is really hard to come by. We haven't even had our first visit yet to much of our dismay.
In the past, meeting people in person that I've met online hasn't been the best of experiences. One guy dumped me right after our trip together before I met my boyfriend. I'm so in love with him and he feels the same for me, but I just can't get over being frightened about meeting him in person and having it all crash down on me.Does this happened to everybody or am I being a terrible girlfriend?
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- From: ForYouIWright@xanga
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Comments (48)
lol. you've been "seeing" a guy online for 2 years? you do realize there's a whole world outside with real people that you could've been seeing for those 2 years, right? it requires you to leave your computer, though.
i mean, what happens if you meet this guy and decide he's not everything you imagined him to be for the last 2 years (or if he decides the same about you)? it actually kind of concerns me that you might have issues being afraid of the real world.
i really fail to see how you can love someone you've never met in person.
It will be awkward, but as long as neither of you have lied about anything there is no reason to assume that it is going to go horribly wrong.
I can't stand the play on words using wright instead of write
also, does this happened to everybody instead of has this happened to anybody
well if you go by your track record, then doing online relationships may not be good for you. i dont want to assume anything, but have you talked on the phone? skyped? videos/photos. mailed letters to each other?
i do have a problem with you funding the trip. if you could come up with the $$ so could he.i guess that enough info is not here for me to be OK with thison a good note, i do know people that have met online and have pretty good outcomes.
is anyone else horrified by the american apparel ads??
Hahahaa
To those saying you can't fall in love with someone you never met in person, eh it happens. It happened to me once. We just weren't dumb enough to be like "yes, let's be boyfriend and girlfriend". We enjoyed ourselves elsewhere with non-committal intent and enjoyed the two periods of time we spent together visiting. But then he did find someone close he liked, and I took myself out of the picture for awhile for both our sakes. I moved on, and he dated the girl for a bit without emotionally cheating on her.
As for the OP, good luck, I guess. I would hope in the two years you've been dating you two have talked on the phone or skyped, and if so, it shouldn't be too awfully awkward. If you meet in person and things don't click, it will suck because you wasted two years of your life on something that had no legs. But better to know ASAP than even later down the road.
Just remember to meet in a public place like a mall or something. And if things get dull in terms of conversation, talk about some of the things you enjoy doing together online. For instance, do you play games together on yahoo? Maybe you've helped each other's farmville on facebook? Things like that. Don't worry about not meeting after it's been two years. Relationships mature at their own pace. It sounds like it's your time to mature in the real world realm.
Good Luck to you!
I used to be an advocate of online relationships, but now I'm totally against them. While I use online dating sites, I always plan to take things offline as soon as possible. This is difficult when you live a long ways away of course, but I would rather be single than be in a relationship that is conducted through cyberspace.
i was good friends with my ex for almost five years and we were together a year before we met in person for the first time. it was incredibly nerve-wracking. and it turned out to be a little awkward at first, partly because after knowing someone for so long it's just so surreal to finally be like, physically together. but once we got used to it it was very natural. it's normal to be nervous but try not to freak out too much! if you guys truly love each other everything will be fine. good luck! :)
wow. I would never "date" someone for 2 years before meeting. I wouldn't pay for their trip either.
I met my best friend online, and we didn't meet in person for six years. When we did, it was totally natural. Of course, we'd virtually grown up together, and Skyped together. It's not the same as a romantic relationship, I guess, but there you have it.
My boyfriend and I met online and yes, we were "dumb enough" to call each other boyfriend/girlfriend. We met in person a year later and things were naturally a little awkward at first because it was just so surreal...but the awkwardness didn't last long at all, and it felt like we'd known each other forever. We then had two more visits and he is planning to move down here in a year or two, provided things keep going well. We Skype and talk on the phone every day, though.
The money thing, I completely understand. We were both unemployed and I was feeling really hopeless. I had gotten $1,000 from family for my high school graduation and wanted to use some of it to pay for his ticket, but my parents wouldn't let me. Long story short, he got a seasonal job a few months later and came to see me for my birthday. So...I don't really know what to say. I wanted to buy his ticket, but having him work and pay for it himself made me feel very unexpectedly good...I felt like I could be certain he was just as committed to meeting as I was. Now we're both working and saving up!
It's okay to feel frightened. I've had in-person meetings go horribly. But then I realized that it really had very little to do with the fact that I met the person online, and everything to do with the fact that I just met the wrong person. It's all about them as a human being and whether you have that deep connection. I was worried, too, that my boyfriend wouldn't love me anymore after he saw me in person and we spent time together physically, but I was wrong. Don't think of it as though you're meeting your online boyfriend. Think of it as, 'I finally get to meet and spend time with
this person.' Like any other relationship, there is a chance things won't click. But if he's genuine and you're both open and honest with each other and have real chemistry, it will work out just fine. And I hope it does.
But what do I know? I'm not a real person apparently. ;)
why don't you guys go half-half on the ticket instead of making you pay for it all?
did you guys at least speak to eachother over the phone or use skype/webcam chat?? If so, it shouldn't be too horrible.
I don't mean to be rude (I met my boyfriend online) - but how can you love someone you've never met? How can you be in a relationship with someone when you have no idea what they're like in person? It's easy to disguise things and to hide things on the internet - annoying habits, hygiene, how you speak, intelligence, taste in clothes and manners - I don't see how you can say you love someone, when, realistically, you know nothing about them.
I also have a problem with you paying for everything. Whenever I've met people from the internet (friends or potential boyfriends), I've always paid my way, as have they, and we've split other bills (food, entertainment) for example, to make things fair. Why are you doing all the work? It COULD be a potential sign of things to come - don't be with someone who isn't wiling to pay their way.
This is not something I would do
I've done this.
And I do believe you can be in love with someone you've never met. I have been.I dated a guy I met online and didn't meet him until two years later. The reason though was not money, but because I was 16 and he was 18. He wanted to wait until I turned 18, just in case.
What I found is that when you meet someone online sure there are things you don't know about them, but you kinda get to know them from the inside first, which can make things more special. You're less focused on what they look like and how they dress and more about who they are as a person. You learn to communicate well and to treasure the conversations you have because that's all there is when you can't physically be around the person.
When I turned 18 the guy finally came to see me and he it was everything both of us had hoped for. It's weird feeling like you know everything about someone, but you've never met them. He looked the same as the pictures he sent me, his voice matched, the inside jokes we had, his car, everything was the same and it was amazing once we finally met in person. Things didn't last between us because of the distance (and he's in the military so he couldn't just up and move).
My mom also met a guy online who lived in Denmark (she lives in the United States) and they talked for 5 years before meeting in person. They knew they loved each other.. he came to see her, she came to see him and meet his family and they are now happily married (and living in the same country) and have been for ten years!
To be in an actual relationship with someone you've never met is a little crazy, but if you guys are really that in love it might be a little awkward at first and then things will just seem natural. My ex and I talked for a few months before meeting and that's how it was for us. Good luck!
What is this, Message in a Bottle?!
You've had a "boyfriend" for TWO YEARS that you've NEVER met??
save your money for a shrink instead. Better investment.
Okay I can grasp the online stuff, but the fact you paying for his entire ticket is a little off-setting.
@old_school_hollywood197666@xanga - Because it seemed like the "dumb enough" was quoted from me, I want to clarify it was in reference to his and my particular situation, not the idea as a whole of a committed online relationship.
Two years is a heck of a long time to commit to a relationship that involves no real time contact, but if it's working for you, then kudos.
I met and go to know a guy online, but it was only several months before we met and we actually lived in relatively the same area, we clicked even more in person than we did online.
For lots of reasons we didn't continue the relationship, but things can get pretty intense online. The initial anonymity often leads to an honesty and opening up that is quicker than we might face to face.
I still get goosebumps when I remember the time he said he wanted to hear my voice. he gave me his number but I was not yet ready to take that step. One day he called me...wow.
anyway...there's just as much chance it WILL lead to something as there is that it won't.
Damn, dudes. Off her back. I dated a guy for one year without meeting him in person; however, we played video games every day, talked every day, and webcammed every day. When we saw each other for the first time in person, it all went naturally. Our first embrace was like a fucking fairytale haha. So good luck!