My name is Samantha, and I'm 15 years of age. About four months ago, my best friend invited me to this party- it was a boy's seventeenth birthday. She had recently been out with this guy, but she lied about her age and the place she works. While she was on this date with him, I became a part of the conversation, and she told him that we were best of friends.
The problem is, she said she was 18 and I was 17! I didn't have a clue that she had told him this until we were getting ready for the party. She told me to never reveal our real ages. Because I had never met these people before and I knew I would never see them again, I didn't think there was any harm in lying about my age 2 years above.
The party happened, and I kept in contact with this boy that was nineteen and obsessed with my best friend! Anyway, I had to lie that I was seventeen and that I worked in a nursery with Jen as her assistant almost. His best friend was the boy that had the party and we started talking a lot. Every day. Non-stop.
We met up recently on Monday and went to the movies. I stayed over his house and had the most amazing, perfect night of my life! He said that he felt the same as well, and now we're getting super close!
Yes, I know I'm really young, but we had sex that night. However, I did it because I felt so comfortable and safe with him, so I do not regret that at all. I'm seeing him again Monday, but I need to tell him that I'm not 17. I still go to school and I'm coming into my last year. I know I need to tell him, and I've told my mates about it. They said just tell him- if he's perfect enough he would understand, and I should explain that it was no fault of my own.
I'm scared to lose something so beautiful in my life, and I can't let anything proceed without telling him the truth. I've never lied about my age before in my life. I just don't want to lose him.
What should I do? It's making me feel ill every day that I think about it. I feel stressed, ill, and upset all the time!
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Comments (59)
If you are so concerned about his well-being, you would tell him.
Withholding such information can pose a major threat to him if you were to turn around and claim statutory rape (and since there's no physical record of the conversation, it will be difficult for him to prove entrapment). In fact, that may be part of why your friend warned you not to say a word, so as to make sure you don't lose a bargaining chip in the event he does something you don't like.
It's time you looked past your needs and considered the dangers someone else is facing.
I hate that sick upset feeling. I get massive stomach aches when things are bothering me! My advice to you would be to tell him, and that I doubt your age will matter a whole lot. 15 isn't as "young" as "old" people make it seem (although it is still young). Be smart, tell the guy the truth, and maybe it will turn into something really beautiful! If it doesn't, he wasn't worth it, and you have PLENTY of years ahead of you to find that beautiful thing we all look for.
The ill feeling probably won't go away until you tell the truth.
Right now your relationship is built on a lie.
It does not matter what the lie is, but in order for this to be any kind of a long term relationship, you need to come clean.
Now it does not sound like You actually lied, but your friend did. So technically, it is not your fault. You went along with your friend's story to be supportive. But now that you are developing real feelings for this guy (and you slept with him) he deserves to know the truth.
Be prepared for him to be angry about it. But if he really cares about you and can see the relationship lasting past this, then it will pass. But it will be rough for awhile.
Good luck.
ehhh you probably should have told him before you had sex :( i don't know what to tell you. i'm not saying you're too young to have sex, its just that that's not only dishonest but a very, very dangerous side of the law for him to be on without knowing.
You should tell him the truth. When I was younger, I never lied about my age. It's not fair to the older guy, especially when you live in the US in a state where the age of consent is 18 or you are younger than the age of consent. It's not worth the drama and the truth will eventually come out. It is only going to be harder the longer you wait.
do you realize you are about to fuck this kid's life up for FOREVER? if the wrong person finds out about this, he is going to have a sex offender record for the REST OF HIS FUCKING LIFE, because you and your friend thought it would be cute to go to a party. you need to cut this shit out right now and stop seeing him.
i am legitimately scared for the poor boy. and people wonder why i don't trust girls. it's because of deceptive shit like this.
@LadyGwenivere@xanga - It is 100% her own fault... whatever her friend said, this gal went along with it, lied to her parents as I assume they didn't not allow her to sleep over at an adult's home, and continued the lie with this boy.
there isn't really a problem lying about your age until you have underage sex and parents find out and might report it. I haven't lied about my age but people usually don't believe me when I tell them my real age since I'm asian and look younger than I actually am. I hate buying lottery tickets, because the indian cashier often laughs at me. what's so funny about being over 18 yet looking nothing like I'm over 18 while buying lottery tickets
Tell this boy, tell your parents, and find better friends. I have a 14-year-old daughter and you should not be doing this. Whoever told the lie first, doesn't matter... you continued the lie and told more. Good luck, I sure hope this guy doesn't end up getting too screwed over.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - I'd mostly give you this, but young men ought to know to check IDs before they screw girls who claim to be 17/18.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - yeah, i was gonna joke about "this is why i check id" until i reread and saw the ages--then decided the issue was too serious for jokes (and yes, i realize you're not joking).
there are some states where i think the statutory rape laws are a little more lax...and now that i think about it, if the kid thought that it was okay to bang a 17 yo, i wouldn't be entirely surprised if it was okay to bang a 15 yo. and if it's legal, i have no issue with what's going on (other than the lie).
@twilike@xanga - that's what i thought at first, too. he's 19. she wrote the word out so you may have gotten the ages mixed up like i did.
@twilike@xanga - She said he was 19.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - In some states there is a close in age exception, and in some states that can be 2, 3, or less than 10 years older (Colorado, Utah)... though sometimes it may just be a misdemeanor (California and 3 years age difference.)
I don't think any 15-year-old girl in America is ready for sex... mostly because when I imagine a 15-year-old mother I really cringe.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - yeah, i went to chop't a few months ago for lunch, and sat down with this girl. we were chatting, i asked her why she doesn't party more frequently if she was only 23. she told me she had a 4 year old kid and could only go out if she could find a babysitter. when i went back to the office, i did the math and was like...holy shit! she got knocked up when she was fucking 18! i never thought i'd actually meet someone like that in real life. these are supposed to be the stories they teach you in high school or show you on mtv just to scare you. i have another friend who just accidentally got his lady friend pregnant, but he's also 29 and already finished his phd several years ago, so i mean...he's not exactly in a terrible position in life right now.
i never asked for that chick's number cause i was turned off by the whole kid thing, but i regretted it when i went back to the office. she was clearly looking for fun and i was (/am) kind of curious what it feels like after she's popped out a kid.
by the way, you disappeared for a few days, didn't you? i was afraid there would be no one to call me out on my bs anymore if you left.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Oh, come on now... you could have sex with twenty women in (well, you're a guy so we have to talk months, not a day or something) a few months, not knowing if they were virgins, mothers, experienced, or inexperienced. It can't feel that different inside if I, as a mother of three, can hold in a tampon, any mother can hold in a pencil!
I was busy and sick over the weekend, and with work, sometimes I don't disappear just too tired! lol But thanks for noticing. :)
You should tell the truth. It may be hard, but this is serious business. He could be branded as a sex offender and that could ruin his career or whatever. I'm sorry, but the only way to get rid of that sick feeling is to tell him. It might be best for both of you if you guys separated until you are of legal age.
Just because your friend lied about your age doesn't mean you have to go along with it. You're 100% at fault in this. Your relationship is based on a lie, and you pose a very real threat of fucking up this boy's life FOREVER. If you want to play adult and sleep with him, then you need to act like an adult and come clean. If he sticks around, that's awesome. If he gets angry and leaves, well, who could blame him?
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - i said "technically" because she should not have gone along with it but she did and she didn't think she would see the guy again... but as soon as she started seeing more of him she should have come clean.. especially before sleeping with the guy. She made a stupid choice in continuing to lie and now she will probably lose the guy.
@twilike@xanga - you are either ridiculously young or don't live in the us. there is an offense here called statutory rape. in general, this means that if someone of an older age has consensual sex with another person below the legal age of consent, the older person is guilty of a crime. the seriousness of the offense varies, but in all cases, you are labeled as a sex offender for the rest of your life.
if you think that's not such a bad consequence, go try banging some 15 year old girls when you're 19, tell her parents, and let me know how that works out for you.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - lol it's not that i notice your comments. something is amiss if i've gone 48 hours without seeing you yell at me for something, hahaha.