This post was submitted anonymously.
Hi there! I have this problem. I have no idea how to get over my first boyfriend. We dated for 6 months. I had my first date, first kiss and first boy. We broke up and got back together a couple of times but when we officially broke up, it was because my mom went on my Facebook and told him that he had to break up with me.
A week after that, he said that he still loved me but I said we shouldn’t because of my mom. Now it's been a month since the break up and I don't know what to do. I'm confused, hurt and I'm STILL trying to get over him. We tried becoming friends but he started becoming a jerk and whenever we talked it would end up as a disagreement.
I know it sounds like a lot but what do I do to get over him?
Recommend
Comments (23)
Nothing. If you should "get over him" you will do so in naturally your own time. Don't look for shortcuts.
Feelings exist for a specific purpose. We didn't spend million of years evolving them just to defeat them because they're inconvenient.
Forget Mom. She married your dad. Nuff said.
I know what you're going through. I just ended my relationship with my first boyfriend (I'm 21). We were together for almost two years, and when things ended it felt like my life did as well. You're going to be hurting, you're going to miss him, you will want to go back, but that's just the cycle of a break up. You have to cry it out if you haven't already, or at least that's what I did. Also, do things that are super productive. It'll keep you busy, and get your mind of things. Just keep living your life. It won't be easy to forget a first boyfriend, but it's possible, and it will happen. You'll encounter many guys in your lifetime, and some will end well and some will end badly. It's just part of life, and although it does suck, it gets better.
youre gonna hate me for saying this but dont talk to him,get rid of what reminds you of him, date other people and get involved in something new (ie learn a language, take piano lessons, jst something to fill your time)
....Are you 14?
@zzzzzulavalle@xanga - Datingish isnt just for adults, don't be so rude!
OP:
Putting your mom aside, constantly breaking up and getting back together isn't a healthy relationship by any means. Sometimes the relationship isn't worth the pain you go through. Like other people have already said, delete him from your life. Its really the only way to get over somebody.
I'm assuming you're quite young.
Young enough to have better things to worry about than boys your mom won't even let you date. Focus on school, sports, friends, whatever other things you have going on.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - I wasnt being rude, it was a valid question.
listen, i don't know how old you are--you're obviously quite young, possibly even in middle school--but oftentimes, mom and dad know best. there are better things to worry about in life. boys are always going to come and go, and you are going to get hurt again in the future (as you have been now). sorry, that's the way things go. life is hard.
@PyroRett@xanga - I hate you for saying that.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Life is hard because some assholes just accept difficult situations and concede that life simply "is" that way, leaving it to others find out why it is hard, making them pick up their slack to fix it at the source. You're not dead, so unless you're giving her a status update on your progress when it comes to improving the status quo you have no excuse to impose the futility of your efforts on others. You get what you give.
http://youtu.be/uc6jd9P1X6w
"God's flying in for your trial"
How old are you? Is there a reason why your mom does not approve of him? I don't want to sound like a total cliche, but time does help. It may not heal the wound completely (depending on the situation), but time does make it all easier. It's always difficult to get over that first heartbreak. I went out with my first boyfriend for almost 3 months and then he broke my heart and left me for no reason. We later almost got back together and he told me he had commitment issues, so of course, he ran off from that. Because we were in the same social circle, I had to be "friends" with him, and that's when I saw the real him-he was a complete idiot who did not know when to stop joking around and when to be serious. So maybe this is life's way of showing you the real him. You sound young and you still have a lot to learn. I'm not just saying that. I've been told that I'm young all the time, but really, there is a lot to learn in life.
Six months doesn't constitute love. It's not an iron rule, but you're young, your hormones are wacky, and your body is changing - it's easy to confuse that first feeling of romance with the absolute idea of love. A lot of people aren't able to forget their first girlfriend/boyfriend; they end up getting back together several times before it's permanent. Ask yourself, why did you date him? Is your mother a good reason not to date him?
Why does your mum not approve of him? Have you asked her? I'm assuming you're quite young, but she still had no right to go on your Facebook and tell your boyfriend to break up with you - she should have come to you first. I think that before you decide anything, you should talk to your mum and ask her about it - does she have a specific reason? Does she know something she hasn't told you yet? Once you've gotten an answer from her, you can then make a decision - good luck!
@nihaokeisha@xanga - this is just what i needed. my relationship with my boyfriend for like 4years just ended. and i'm really having a hard time. also, my first boyfriend. i think there's no closure, but it's like i end up running back to him over and over again. i guess i'm just being stupid and immature. but we do a lot of stupid things when in love. again, your words really touched me so thank you!
@kharylmae@xanga - I'm glad my comment could help someone!! You're not being stupid or immature at all! It's tough not having them in your life all of a sudden. It's that sudden change in routine of not doing the same things we used to that makes it that much harder.
Maybe Mom sees something in him that you don't because you are looking at him with your love goggles on?
I wish i had listened to my mother about my early boyfriends.. they were no good dogs and my mom knew it. And when those relationships ended, and I was a mess for a few days, my mom was there to keep me company but she never did the " i told you so".
Thankfully my mom loves my husband =)
Stop talking to him, defriend him, get him out of your life and your thoughts and replace him with better things and people. You've broken up on your own several times, you obviously have good reasons not to be together. Don't romanticize him in your thoughts, don't dwell on memories with him. Focus on creating new friends and new memories and living life in right now, not in the past or the fictitious future with him.
@nihaokeisha@xanga - I totally agree with your comment. Just let nature take its course while trying to stay busy and productive.
you must be young or he must be an asshole so your mom is only looking out for you. if you are like a teenager then i wouldnt worry about him and i would move on. there are plenty others out there and you even said yourself that he was a jerk while you were hanging out again.
if he isn't so bad then i don't know why you are listening to your mom but then again i'm not trying to disrespect her and i don't know him so i don't even know. i would just say get over him i guess.
I assume you're young. And it's rough getting over a boy at that age. But if your mother felt like she had to intervene, then she probably had good reason. I wish my mom had given a shit enough to do the same for me. But I had to find out for myself just how wrong they were for me. And what I thought was love as a teenager was nothing more than just a simple infatuation. There's a difference, and it's hard to explain it. But when you do find love, you'll know.
Time.
Stay busy, focus on more important things than an ex, find a hobby.
I just want to know why your mother invaded your privacy like that. Also, don't worry about the boy. He was just being a jerk because he knows he isn't allowed to have you, and it frustrates him.
Keep in mind it was your FIRST. Most of us have the hardest time getting over our first. Maybe it's because they taught us a lot about what we love and hate in relationships? Maybe it's because its the first time that we've given ourselves to someone else? Not sure. But, it'll take time. Like others have said, you sound young and so I can't really advise that much as your parents do have a certain amount of control and we don't know what they're seeing in this boy. In any case, they'll be other boys. Do things to keep yourself occupied. Hang out with friends, go out, anything to get your mind off him. Time passing by can do wonders.