First off -- no, the woman in the image above is *NOT* me.
Moving swiftly along...
I find it unsettling that my ex-boyfriend may still have naked/topless photos of me in his possession.
I actually took and sent them upon his request
post-breakup (we were still sleeping together for months after we officially split -- a topic I'll reserve for another post!). Granted, I made him promise to delete them after things between us got truly ugly (
breaking up wasn't -quite- ugly enough, was it, Jeanette? HM?).
Granted, I'm sure he'd never actually
do anything disrespectful with them (in spite of how horrible everything ultimately turned out, he made an effort to be a relatively decent chap throughout our relationship). Granted, I still have a close-up photograph of his d*ck as collateral buried somewhere in my inbox, should he choose to [quite stupidly] do anything disrespectful with them.
But still.
A year and change ago at the MTV Movie Awards Ceremony, Reese Witherspoon said:
I get it, girls, that it's cool to be a bad girl. But it is possible to make it in Hollywood without doing a reality show. When I came up in the business, if you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and you hid it under your bed. And if you took naked pictures of yourself on your cellphone, you hide your face, people! Hide your face! Now, I know that I'm not a celebrity. I'm not delusional. I'm aware that I don't have quite as much at stake as someone who constantly appears in the press. That said, my dignity is still on the line here.
All I can say is:
Oops. It seemed like an okay idea at the time. It really, genuinely did. But I guess I didn't stop to consider all the possible ramifications of sending a boy I thought I could trust images of myself at my most vulnerable.
*OY*
Have you ever taken naked photos of yourself for a partner/lover/hook-up buddy? Has doing so ever backfired terribly? How do you feel knowing that these photos of you are out there in the world?
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Comments (30)
Yeah, I've sent 'em and received em. IDC. People haven't always worn clothes. *shrugs*
Quite proud of how they turned out, actually.
Considering they have always been for my husband, who makes Alyosha from "The Brothers Karamazov" look like a seedy pimp, I totally do not regret anything.
I've only sent naked pictures to my husband. LOL. I only had a digital camera with one or two of the men before my husband, and I wouldn't have sent them anything if they asked. The weird thing is, even if they had digital cameras when I was in my 20s, I don't think I would have sent pictures to anyone.
I do it with my current boyfriend. He's the only one I've ever done that with and even though I love him and trust him, I still hide my face LOL. I just am paranoid because at the end of the day, nothing is guaranteed and if it were to fall apart I don't want to go crazy thinking everybody and their momma is seeing my goodies.
Yep sure have. So far no repercussions, but I figure if they wanted to show anyone the people looking can't judge me. I'm not ashamed of any of the pictures I've taken or else I wouldn't have taken them.
I've only shown graphic pics to guys that I really like
I've shown pics to random people before. I didn't really send them. I posted them on a website. don't ask where. if you haven't seen them, too bad. they weren't graphic though. more like those artistic nudes
the word,nudes, sound funny. my parts were covered but I was naked. I'm not embarrassed them per se, but I wouldn't post them again. if someone comes across them randomly now, I wouldn't really care. is it weird that I'm sort of turned on looking at my own naked girlie pics
I think the silhouette of the naked body is beautiful, especially mine
sext photos don't really turn me on, tbh. i'd rather jack off to amanda bynes or carly rae or whatever. god, those chicks are fucking phenomenal. oh yeah, my freshman year of high school, one of my classmates took some naked photos with her then-boyfriend who was a senior. he sent the photos to the entire school, lol. i don't know how she was ever able to show her face there again. she was in tears the whole day the next day--not that i exactly blame her. (for the record, her tits were fucking huge, particularly for a 14 year old girl.) she was occasionally a little bit of a bitch, and every time, i wanted to say back to her "shut the fuck up, i've seen your tits with whipped cream on them". i never had the heart to do it though.
for everyone's future reference, i learned this weekend that there's an app for sexting that will destroy the pic within 12 seconds of being opened.
@ipink_berry@xanga - so wise. so many people like to pretend that their relationship will last forever.
I've sent and received them. I never worry about. Honestly, I don't think there's that much harm that would happen if the pictures somehow "got out there". I don't see how anyone else seeing my dong would ruin life. I have penis. So do all other guys. It's not a big deal.
No. Firstly, I don't think it's a turn on, and secondly, I don't want them to end up in the wrong hands or all over the internet. Even if you trust your boyfriend, can you really trust his friends? Or do you really know how he'll react if you break up and you've really upset him or something? I just don't understand the appeal of it at all.
I've got about a dozen from my last girlfriend. When things went south (because I'm a tool) and we stopped talking I thought of tons of things I could do with them to make it awful for her. When it really came down to it I couldn't do anything with them. I wanted to, I tired to, but then I grew up I guess.
I was on the verge of setting them like wild fire upon the internet, I was incredibly bitter, but even at my worst I knew I'd never forgive myself for doing that to her.I would only do it for someone I seriously was in love with, but probably not through the phone or computer.. paper pictures seem less scandalous for some reason.
I have totally done this. My ex of three years & still, to this day my best friend has a few scandalous pictures of me & I of him.
I trust him & he trusts me. It's really all about trust..for example, I wouldn't send any naked pictures to someone I just started dating, or hell - even a year into dating. You must be really in tune with the person & trust that no matter what happens between you guys, your intimate pictures will NOT be revealed. If you can't trust your SO or you feel uncomfortable with the idea that somewhere down the line, he/she has vulnerable pictures of you - simply don't send them!
These are thoughts that should always be front & center in your mind & processed thoroughly BEFORE taking any naked pictures for your lover.If you're even on the fence about it - don't do it.
I did it, but I knew what I was doing & who i was sending them too & so far? I have yet to find myself on some porn site aha.
The "golden rule" of the internet is don't send anything online or by cell (email, text, pics, etc) that you wouldn't be able to handle appearing on the front page of a paper for all to see including your parents.
Using "I trust him/her" with my pics as justification is frankly, ridiculous. You don't know what the other person is capable of doing, period. No one gets married thinking they will be involved in a bitter nasty divorce but it happens. You also have bitter break ups with an ex looking to do the most damage.
Even without a bad break up, an ex can still be a jerk - there have been more than a few situations where a star/celebrity has had their naked pics distributed by an ex looking to cash in.
So if you are modest about who sees your birthday suit, you need to think twice and then a third time before engaging in any sexting activity.
I've only sent them to my husband. *shrug* I honestly don't worry about it.
One of my sister's friends was sure he'd seen naked pictures of me on-line, but they aren't of me. There is a girl who has a tasteful naked picture of herself from the neck down... my husband thought it was me, and when Dad saw the picture, he didn't say anything but I told him that it wasn't me, just in case, because he had an odd look on his face.
@SoullFire@xanga - that's why you get collateral control to expose him if he exposes you. verbal promises isn't enough for sharkies like me
you know what I'm capable of as seen in my previous "nothing is free" comments at you know where
Quite a few men have naked pictures of me, but none of them show my face, and none of them know my real name.
Sending information electronically (email, text, etc) should be treated like information via the postcard. Information get routed through so many servers and many of them will leave a copy of the information.
Phones, devices (tablets, PC, whatever) get stolen, hack, etc. Jealous new SO seek vengence. the possibilities are endless.
You may not care about it right now, in your teens, 20s, etc. When you're older, or become more prominent, it may come back and haunt you.
I abide by certain rules when dealing with lovers/boyfriends/people you date. No sharing passwords of any kind and no pictures that can be considered NSFW.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - Society stats quo put women at a disadvantage in the sexting arena- largely due to women being the fairer sex in a male dominant society.
Exposed guys might only be judged as just being stupid and given a pass whereas women are likely to get tagged with sexual innuendos and attacks on their virtue, judgement capability and self control. Your cold, calculating, sharkey aloof presence could take a big hit. 
Unlike women, most guys don't have that controlled image that can be damaged....most folks would just go..."yeah, I always figured he was a dummy." 
The exception is if the guy is someone high-profile- so if a gal limits her sextcapades with the boss or men in power in general- you have your needed MAD (mutual assured destruction) balance.
@SoullFire@xanga - that's true. I really want to pic sext and phone sext with my boss
Yeah for my boyfriend on our fourth year anniversary. I didn't get completely nude though. And the only one I sent was a teaser where you couldn't really see anything.
my ex boyfriend showed it to my present boyfriend and my present boyfriend wanted to leave me now.=( lesson learned, never send naked pictures to your boyfriend or anyone...