I have a cousin who mostly only dates white girls. I could only remember one time I've ever seen him with a woman of color. He's what some would describe as the 'Carlton' of the family; the cocky version. He sees himself as the hardest fish to catch in the lake and you are the lucky one to have him for dinner. YUCK!
Now, let me pause this written commentary before your minds start going places I'm not taking you. I am a woman of color, a black Hispanic to be precise. Just to clarify, this will not be a post of racial indifference, but of observed behavior. I hope that's clear. Let's continue...
So recently, at a family function, we all got on the subject of who we were seeing, if anyone. 'Carlton' cuts off my other cousin whom was describing this girl he'd recently went on a date with by saying, "you really need to start messing with white girls and leave these black chicks alone!" WHAT?! The entire room got quiet. My aunt's glare would've killed him on the spot if he'd stared at her a second longer.
'Carlton,' is not one who knows how to monitor his words nor does he care to. He's what one would consider, reckless. But, he knew he'd overstepped his boundaries in a house full of black women.
So of course, my cousin, who had been telling us about his date, wanted to know why he'd said that. He'd dated both white and black women and showed no specific preference over either. He liked women, period. But 'Carlton' felt he'd defend himself by saying, "I respect all women, but white women give me no drama, less arguments, more submission." I kindly walked out of the room, opting not to give him any more of my time to waste.
Let's make something perfectly clear: women are going to give you some kind of drama or attitude, no matter what color she's painted. You could buy a blue female bird and she'll give you a headache. It's how you, as a man, choose to deal with it that can either make your life hell, or heaven on earth. So this whole submissive, drama free argument I've heard too many men justify their ignorance with, is B.S.
NO woman wants to me labeled as submissive, unless she's in the confines of her home with her man or husband and that's her preference. So to even think that's a compliment, is almost as dumb as his reasoning.
As far as dating those of an opposite race, I'm ALL FOR IT! I love to see people in love. I don't care what race, sex or ethnicity you represent. But don't bring down a whole race of women because you can't seem to be man enough to have dealt with your past experiences as lessons learned. Not all women are alike, just like a lot of men try to preach that not all men are alike.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has a 'Carlton' in their family who rationalizes his ignorance as a preference. Or is it neither?
Should you cast out a whole race because of past encounters and say it's a preference? How do you cross the bridge and get over it?