when I was unemployed, I was anxious about financial worries. life was unstable and boring. I woke up doing the same routine. I have been employed for a while and no longer worry about money. I wake up doing the same rountine. life is stable yet still boring I was stressed during my training, and nervous that I'd make rookie mistakes. now I've learned a lot and the stress has decreased. I'm not sure if I prefer to be on my tippy toes walking on thin ice at work like before where my mistakes, even the little ones, were magnified by nearly everyone around me, because they were petty and evil spirited, or if I prefer the more relaxed and friendly environment where nearly everyone is helpful and in good spirits. I hate the former, but the latter, isn't something that I hate, but it gets boring sometimes. so do I want stability or don't I I don't want drama. I guess seasonal jobs would suit me where I learn something new every 6 months or a year and do a different skill. yet the unknown or new things makes me every nervous, yet I'm still nervous with familiar things because I think I'm just a RPG or roleplayer at heart and like switching job roles but I don't really think I'd want to switch jobs, because my current job is my ideal job. I'd rather be a master of one skill than jack of all trades or can I be both I know yet I don't know what I want maybe I'd rather not work because I hate waking up so early. my day starts around 5am I'd like to win the lottery and retire young, but I don't really want that, because earning my own money and working for it feels like more of an accomplishment than just having it handed to me. I don't mind being spoiled once in a while though relationships with guys are pretty emotionally draining themselves. I'm in a relationship and it is great, but I think I can do without one. yet I can't just leave. sometimes I wonder why he even likes me, but I guess he has his reasons, which is great. I'm craving candy daydreamers like me won't ever be satisfied. c'est la vie or something. laterz.

it seems like you have no friends--is that right?  moving to a new city is difficult for people who aren't particularly outgoing, and if you live in a car-centric area, it's even more difficult.  you're not going to meet people sitting at a desk all day and then driving home.  anyway, if my first conclusion was correct, then i have to disagree with you about something:  you are not ready to date.  nobody wants to date someone with no friends...except other people with no friends, and then what happens when you break up?  you are back to square one. 

i think if you make the effort to fix that, everything else will fall into place.  i'm somewhat familiar with a whole bunch of (major) cities in the country--if you're comfortable telling me where you live, i might be able to give you more targeted ideas.  you can feel free to shoot me a message.

if you do choose to ignore my advice about not dating yet, i left a detailed comment on a recent post on how to ask guys out.  i think the title of the post was "how to ask someone out", or something to that effect.

I sort of felt stuck in that rut for awhile.  I've worked at my new, super-draining job now for 4 months, an dhave lived here for about 4.5.  I finally got the guts to start going to local groups (meetup.com to find some!!) and I found my awesomeee new boyfriend online.  Online dating really isn't so bad, don't knock it til you try it a few times at least.  I promise.  You HAVE TO force yourself to start again.  There is no other option; it's not up to anyone else.  If you go to a new meeting and you don't like it, just don't go again.  But you need to find your niche, and you need to live a life with some pleasure and social life to avoid mental collapse.  I wish you tons of luck.  I know you can do it!! <3

@scribbles - They are not generally cliquey, because they want to meet new people.  At most meetup groups, depending on the type you go to (and they can be any kind, any topic/hobby) there will be a number of new people.  The awesome thing about them is nobody can make you go back a second time.  Tell yourself that the first time you go.  The WORST that can happen is you feel awkward and never go back!!  Try a bunch out at first, then narrow down the ones where you felt like you connected with the people and had a good time.  My favorite so far is a Boardgamers group and an Atheist group, both of which I have an interest in.  

I feel you. I have a lot of friends and am out almost every night after work but even hanging out with them is starting to get repetitive and boring. Don't get me wrong, I love them and they are awesome people, but I am ready to start meeting new people and, like you, maybe even start dating again. It's been really hard to meet new people since I graduated college (especially considering I live in VERY rural area). I've spent a lot of time on sites like meetup.com, which are great and an option you might want to consider. It's not a dating site just a way to find clubs and groups to join. They have hiking, cooking, book clubs, wine clubs, game clubs, etc. etc. It hasn't worked for me because all of the groups are based like 40 miles away, but if you live in a more populace area it might be worth a try. 

@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - I wouldn't take "dating" advice from someone with an agenda to prove and who whores himself out to feel sexually attractive as if he's an insecure schoolboy turned post college fratboy, and doesn't actually seriously date enough to know what it takes to snag a genuine date that he didn't manipulate his way into @scribbles - 

What's wrong with online dating?  You're a homebody, so that's the perfect place to meet someone!  You are too nervous to ask a guy out and you don't want to go out alone, so really, if you don't take initiative and do something, you're going to be miserable for a while.  I have asked majority of my significant others out and most of them said it was flattering.  Seriously, if you are interested in a MATURE man, he won't think you taking initiative means you are easy or too anxious.  He probably applause you for being gutsy to get out there and get what you want.

This is a really tough one.  The Catch-22 (indoor people who entertain themselves in their own homes seek others like them... who are hidden away in their own homes) is somewhat solved by the internet, but I see you have specifically stated you don't like using the internet to meet people.  I understand some reservations, but I will say that meeting someone lasts exactly one moment, one eyeblink.  After that, it's what you do together that counts... if the internet facilitates that one moment, and the two of you facilitate the rest, is that such a bad thing?

That aside, my first suggestion is to ask the people you know to set you up.  And not one friend, I'm talking like thirty.  In fact, that's a good start.  Make a list of thirty people, ask ALL of them to set you up.  That will give you access to some singles that you wouldn't run into on your own, and since people who actually know you personally are putting you together, trust in them to take care of you and give you some good matches.

The other suggestion would be to try and outdoors your indoor habits a bit.  I sympathize with hiking alone... man, I LOVE hiking, but it is the companionship of the woods, and a friend, and a conversation and then a picnic that is worth it, it just isn't the same experience on your own.  See if you can transfer some of the things you do in your personal, at-home leisure time into things that are outside of your own personal space.  If you have a particular enjoyment (everything from biking to baking), take a course or join a group.  Also consider picking up some old hobbies... getting back into the groove of a martial arts regime or an instrument you played as a child may give you the motivation to get out of the house, and paying for scheduled lessons/classes gives you the direct fiscal incentive to get out the door.  As long as you are doing something you enjoy, you'll shine on your own and attract a suitor or two.

If you like to do something more recluse, go read/study at the coffee shop or bookstore.  Go shopping alone, but don't look too much in a rush, because guys will be intimidated by you.  Smile and be happy in public.  You don't have to go to clubs or bars to attract men.

My job is emotionally and physically draining right now as well.  It's during my intense training/conditioning period.

@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - sounds hot.  i've never met a girl who told me she's into s&m so soon.  you move a little fast for me there.  i don't have sex on the first date, you know.

I'm a guy, so my advice might not be exactly fitting, but here it is: 

1) When you're out, either shopping or eating, smile at guys you think are pretty.  People who date way too little or way too much think there's some kind of extravagent signal you have to give.  I usually just try to make conversation with girls I think are cute in public places.
2) Ask your friends to set you up on blind dates.  I've been on... like 6 blind dates and one of them turned into a semi-serious relationship; we broke up because of work.  Just make sure to tell your friends to not set you up with people you may see off and on (like their siblings).