Thursday, 26 July 2012
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, though we were very good friends for three or four prior to dating. It was hard for me to separate that friendship from the relationship and it felt as if we had been dating that whole time, despite the fact that there were new aspects and elements to our relationship and personalities that we hadn't experienced before dating.
In the year we've been together a lot has happened between us. Unplanned pregnancy, miscarriage, and two break ups that lasted for roughly three months combined. I did the breaking up both times and the last time we were broken up for two months. We'd been fighting like crazy and I felt like me and my daughter weren't a priority for him.
We had very little contact with each other during those two months and finally he came to my house and made a bunch of promises to me that thus far he's kept. Our relationship has never been better...except for the fact that he won't move in with me.
He says he isn't ready and doesn't want to. Pretty clear message. He feels he doesn't make enough money to support himself and although he's 25 years old he is very old fashioned in that he feels the man should support the woman and not the other way around. He also says he is still working on his degree and has to focus on that, though he is getting quite a bit of financial aid.
Since the topic came up, and since his staunch refusal to live together, I can feel myself pulling away from him emotionally. When we are laying in bed and I close my eyes it feels like we are miles and miles apart from each other, though we are physically close. I have an intense need to create a family, and I don't necessarily mean marriage or babies.
I just want to share my every day life with him, the joy my daughter brings me (they get along well), sleep in the same bed with him every night, and all that junk.
I love him dearly, and another break up is not what I want at all, but I am not quite sure how to handle this. I feel very rejected and I feel like I'm going to spend my whole life waiting for him to grow up and get on my level. I don't want to force him to do something, but I do want my needs to be met.
Where should I go with this relationship?