Thursday, 26 July 2012
I seem to have a talent for attracting strange pick-up lines.
I'm half Sicilian, half Eastern European (Russian/Polish mix). To be frank, my nose isn't tiny. I wasted the better part of my adolescence lamenting this fact -- fantasizing about growing up and getting a rhinoplasty.
I'm happy to report that over time, I've made good friends with my schnoz -- in fact, at the age of 24, I *ROCK IT*. I don't even know who I'd be without it! For better or for worse, the ol' nariz is a part of my face, and I accept it completely. However, I still have a hint of self-consciousness leftover from years of habitual self-beratement. This pretty much stays dormant unless some prize dip-shit makes an insensitive remark. Which brings me to the story below...
I had stepped on the Long Island Railroad one afternoon a couple of years ago when a 30-something businessman cornered me near the entrance and asked me if I were Polish. The conversation that ensued went a little something like this:
Me: "Um, yeah, a bit."
Dude: "Oh, well you look Polish."
Me: "What does *THAT* mean?"
Dude: "Your nose..."
Me: "Um. Thanks." -Rolling my eyes and turning away-
Dude: "No, no, I didn't mean to offend you! You're sexy as hell. Everything about you is sexy. Even your *nose* is sexy!"
I stared at this clown in complete disbelief. He spent the next minute or two heckling me for my phone number, genuinely shocked that I wouldn't give it to him. Finally, I agreed to take his card so he'd leave me alone, told him that I had to, "go meet my friend in another car," and got away from him as quickly as I could.
The dude *really* wasn't pulling my leg. This was his sincere attempt at winning my affections; I still can't fathom what made him think this might be an effective means to do so.
Was this supposed to be endearing?
Was this some strange power game? Was he trying to manipulate me by saying something questionable (thereby upsetting me) and then rapidly turning said questionable comment into a compliment (making my self esteem soar even higher than it would have if he hadn't brought me down first)?
Nah, I doubt he was smart enough to be that calculating. This comment was likely no more than evidence of his total social ineptitude: an epidemic that shows little promise of going away any time soon. Oh, boy...
What's the strangest pick-up line you've ever gotten? How did you respond to it?