Tuesday, 24 July 2012
I'm a 30-year-old divorced single mom with one kid. I've been with a guy (one year younger and has never married) for almost 2 years now. We have occasional fights here and there but in general we enjoy being with each other and I believe he's made my life a much better place with lots of laughter and amazing sex.
Early on in the relationship, we had both agreed never to get married. Neither of us believe in marriage. For me, it's quite obvious since divorce is a scary thing. For him, he was betrayed by his last girlfriend of three and a half years. He reasoned that since breaking up with her, he no longer believed in true love, marriage, etc.
However, as time goes by, my feelings for him grow stronger each day and I can't imagine my life without him. Yesterday, during a conversation, I suddenly thought of a hypothetical question, just to test the depth of his feelings for me. I asked him, "If I gave you only two choices, marry me or break up with me, what would you do?" I also explained it's just for fun because I'm truly not ready for marriage at this stage of my life.
To my surprise, he answered without any hesitation that, "You knew beforehand my principle of never getting married, so if you gave me those options, I'd break up with you." I was, of course, devastated. I thought with time his feelings for me would grow and he would do whatever it takes to be with me just like I would do the same with him. I didn't think he'd give up on me that easily. However, I was proven wrong... very wrong.
I couldn't imagine how he'd be able to say such a cruel thing to me straight away. He could have said, "I don't know" or "I need time to think. I can't answer you now." That wouldn't be ideal but still better then his actual answer.
What he said crushed my heart terribly. All those wonderful memories we have don't seem to mean anything to him. I'm now considering breaking up with him. It's just hard to go on with someone who doesn't love you. Even if he still treats me nicely like he always does, I'm sure things will never be the same after this, at least on my side. Last night after going home, I texted him saying, "Let's stop talking for a while. I need some time by myself to think and re-evaluate the relationship." I don't want to make a hasty decision.
Should I break up with him or not? Or is this the price I have to pay for being stupid enough to still believe in true love? It's a very hard decision for me because my life has been so much better since he came along. I can't imagine how I can go on without him. But his words truly break my heart.
A side note for those who may be concerned about my kid, she won't be affected at all by the breakup as I live with my parents and they don't allow me to introduce him to my daughter until we consider marriage as they fear our relationship won't last. Thank God they are so right about this, or else my child will be hurt too.