1. Rebounds are bullshit. 

2. Rebounds are bullshit.

3. If you were open with him from the beginning of your relationship and made it explicitly clear that you were not looking for a serious relationship, then at least the responsibility would be off your hands. If not, then it's your fault for leading him on, and I'd say it was not a misunderstanding but deception on your part.

4. Tell him the truth; if he decides to stay, good for you, if not, well, good for him. 

4. Oh did I mention rebounds are bullshit?

4. I can't count past 4. 

oh. you're dumb

I don't suppose you told him he was a rebound when you met him and now it's HIS fault for thinking you wanted more than just a piece of ass to take your mind off your ex.  Communication is paramount in any relationship and it's obvious you never discussed anything with him.  Rebounds are NEVER a good idea.

You should definitely be single for a long while and figure out how to treat people.

I started seeing a friend of a friend after my bad break up. I wanted to move on/needed distraction and I assumed he knew about my recent break up since they were best friends; so I said yes, when he asked me out. When he tried to kiss me on our third date, I couldn't and told him about my recent break up. He told me that he knew and he still wanted to get to know me. I then assumed that he just wanted to have fun (I mean, who wants to be with someone who just had been broken up with, right?) and I was cool with it.
3 weeks later, he told me that he loved me. I said... thank you. I was totally surprised (did he forget about my situation?) and couldn't say it back. He was a great guy, not just look-wise, but my heart was still broken and incapable/afraid of strong feelings. He told me that he just felt like saying what he felt. He also thought girls always need longer to be sure of their feelings, so he wasn't sad that I didn't say it back.
A few weeks later, I told him that I loved him (and it was true). We're almost 2 years together, and soon moving in together too. :)

If he isn't just great-looking, but has a matching personality too, give him a chance. Your heart might just be very cautious to be vulnerable again. If you know that you won't ever feel the same, you'd better him sooner than later.

Rebounds are only okay if you discuss it with the other person. I just got out of a four year relationship in October in which we continued to try and work on, but I found out a few weeks ago that he was actually in a relationship with someone else since June of last year. Anyways, I had started casually dating someone else in June of this year. Before we even kissed or anything we discussed where we stood. I do really like him, I'm attracted to him, and I have a lot of fun with him, but I'm just not ready for a relationship. I made that very clear to him and he's also made clear to me that he doesn't want a relationship because he was in a very similar situation. You should at the very least explain yourself to him and see what he wants to do. If you don't think you can be with him in the long run and he wants a serious relationship, you need to let him go.

Rebounds are never really okay, because you'd have to hook up with a real asshole for it to work.   You should have told him in the beginning that you weren't ready to get serious, that you were looking for some lighthearted fun.  It's still not too late to tell him.  He deserves the truth.

As for the paddling you just got from the others, I'll not join in.  I just want to tell you this:  Love is something you learn over a lifetime.  You won't always do or say the right thing.  That's okay.  You aren't perfect.  No one is perfect.  Take this experience and realize that it's a learning experience. 

Now think it all over and talk to your man.  Good luck!

Just be honest with him. In the long run, it will hurt him more that you weren't honest than that you didn't have the same feelings.

@SweetNGuilty@xanga - Thank you so much. You've been the most helpful. Pretty much the exact same story for me. He is a really good guy, and that's why I feel guilty and think he deserves a chance. I'm not going to give it to him because of guilt, but because I do think that there could be a future there. Thank you so much for your story, it's helped me come closer to making my decision.

Well in that case I apologize for being so gruff...I still think it's a bad idea to jump from one relationship to another but if you both know where you stand it's a matter of the level of involvement you wish to have.  I guess I've been in too many relationships involving unrequited love and misinformation.  I don't really do flings but if that's all it really is you don't necessarily have to feel the same way about each other to continue, especially if it's only been a month.  Communication is paramount in any relationship.

I think it's always a bad idea to jump from one relationship to another. You say it was a "spring fling" but you were still using him as a rebound and you still agreed to be in an exclusive relationship with him - by doing that, you're saying you're ready for something serious. If you didn't want it to have become serious, you shouldn't have let it. Now you're in a horrible situation where you're just going to break his heart. If you know he's still a rebound, you need to end it. It's not fair on him to be strung along - tell him the truth, and be single for a while until you get your head straight again.

@sayquestions@xanga - Don't you think that when you decided to be in an exclusive relationship, you were saying that the relationship was going to progress? Dump him so that he can find someone who wants the same level of commitment. 

A lot of people that my relationship with my boyfriend was a rebound relationship both ways. We went out on our first 2 months after I broke up with my ex and not even a month after he broke up with his. But, I was seriously head over heels after just 2 weeks of talking to him. 

@beesuze@xanga - in my experience, that doesn't make a guy a gentleman.  it makes a guy that the girl thinks is uninterested, or alternatively, that can't keep (or get) a girl's interest.  guys are pressured to make moves because we know a) girls never will, b) society demands it of us, c) girls will lose interest if we don't, d) they will think we're not interested if we don't.  girls are much more likely to forgive a guy who jumps the gun on breaching a certain level, than they are to forgive the guy who moves too slowly.  (i've experimented with this and empirical results show i'm right.) 

that's not to say girls don't have their pressure, too--you guys feel like you have to get us off or we'll think you're too prudish.  basically, dating is just fucked up all around.