Sunday, 22 July 2012
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How Do You Feel About PDA?
My boyfriend doesn't like to kiss me in public.
He's fine holding my hand, putting his arms around me, etc. Sometimes, he'll even kiss me on the cheek. But he refuses to kiss me on the lips, because he's concerned about the image that we give off.My ex was big on PDA, so this is a bit different for me. Not good or bad, necessarily, just interesting.PDA is a hotly contentious issue. Whether you're in a relationship and performing it, or single and watching people do it, everyone has an opinion. How much PDA do you find acceptable?
The answer is complicated, mainly because it has so many components. Take environment, for example. What's acceptable at a club is wildly different from what's OK on the street in the middle of the day.
Another factor is the difference between seeing and doing. I know many who say they don't really mind certain levels of PDA, but they personally would never do it.
PDA can become an issue in relationships, mainly when one partner is OK with more than the other partner. The guy my friend is seeing is really affectionate when they're alone, but refuses to hold her hand in public. She doesn't want to make out on the street. However, she wishes that he would hold her hand occasionally.
PDA can even become an issue in platonic relationships. When your friends aren't comfortable with the amount of PDA that you and your S/O exhibit, they are far less likely to hang out with you.
Interestingly, witnessing PDA might actually be good for you. According to Yahoo!, Swedish scientists have found that we experience the same psychological pleasure from seeing "sensual caresses" as well as receiving them.
So next time you have a friend like mine, who says, "Honestly, it's just disgusting," you can just tell them it's healthy.
What level of PDA do you find acceptable? Have you had any of these issues? How did you deal with them?
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- From: sasha
- Name: sasha
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Comments (38)
I think holding hands is perfectly acceptable. I personally love holding hands in public. Kissing is fine as long as it's not a make out session. Quick pecks on the cheek and/or lips are fine. Just keep it classy :P
I think anything "cute" is acceptable... holding hands, arm around the waist, a small peck. But when I see people french kissing or grabbing each other's butts? It's too much.
I've been guilty of being a bit amorous at times.
However, I agree with the previous comments. As long as couples don't look as if they need a room, I think PDAs are fine.
As long as the displays are mild: quick pecks, hugs and hand holding. Anything that warrants needing to "get a room" should be done behind closed doors. If I see someone doing something I don't like, I'll divert my attention elsewhere.
seeing people that I find attractive making out might be appealing, but if I don't, then it is unsightly and "disgusting." sex is healthy, but not when you're careless and catching viruses/diseases. pda is healthy to the eyes, but not when you're hideously repulsive
I don't like pda
most of the time when I see pda, it is because one person of the couple is insecure and marking his/her territory
I was watching a show and some girl thought that I was checking out her bf, who was standing in front of me, but I wasn't, because he was just in my line of sight and it was crowded, so there wasn't anywhere else to stand. then they started kissing and holding each other in front of me, and then they stopped and the girl just looked like she was annoyed, because I think she noticed her bf checking me out
or maybe he wasn't. he just turned around once. or she didn't want me to keep looking in his direction. then they quickly left. I was glad because they are tall and now I have a better view. I wasn't checking out her boifran, I was trying to watch the show and his hair was blocking me
another time at walgreens, some hot guy was kissing his really old and ugly gf. she wasn't that old but it was gross and tacky. another time I was at a museum and I was looking at an exhibit piece and some guy was next to me looking at the other exhibit. then his chubby wife/gf held him from behind and grabbed onto him tightly as she turned her face to look at me. he didn't seem to care and didn't hug back, because he was busy looking at the exhibit. it didn't look like a regular mutual hug but she was showing me that he's mine type of hug. ohplz, I don't want your man, mi boifran is way hotter than him
my bf just has to leave one shirt button unbuttoned and these pplz will be salivating in heat
but whose competing
And I know when I was 14 my own Mom would start kissing me like crazy right in the middle of the street as we're crossing traffic and the light turns green so cars have to go around us, honking and laughing at how red my face got.
That's a bit too much, PDA IMHO.
Today ? PDA, holding hands, kissing the back of the neck, hugs, tousling the hair, that's all okay and good.
I am a hypocrite. My husband will kiss me/hug me/hold my hand in public and I like it, but I am uncomfortable when I see people kissing or being too in-each-others'-faces within my groups of friends while we're all hanging out together.
We do try to kiss only when we aren't in a close social setting, though.
PDA is disturbing, when it goes too far or is excessive. A kiss, hand holding, hugging, that's fine. But if it's making out and other things, it's disturbing. Especially if they're ugly =/ yeah, it's shallow but whatever. A pleasant scenery is preferable.
Personally though, if I want to feel close to my bf in public, I will. People can avert their eyes or glare, don't have a care! It makes me happy. Around friends, we don't do anything more than hold hands. It shows respect. We're hanging out with friends, they're there to chill with us, and we are there for the same reason.
I used to think PDA was really gnarly gross, but after my last relationship after being super against PDA and then regretting it I think that I'll start being more affectionate with boyfriends in public. I don't think it's okay to like be obnoxious with PDA and looking like you're about to have sex in the middle of the street, but I think making out is fine. I've never been grossed out by PDA just not something I wanted to participate in.
me and my boyfriend hold hands everywhere we go and kiss every now and then. if we're standing in line i'll rest my head on his chest and he'll put his chin on top of my head (height difference) but that's it. we don't make out or anything in public.
My boyfriend is the same way. Especially if we're around younger people. I don't mind it. I think he and I do need to set a good example to the younger people around us. He will kiss me goodbye if we're just around friends. But, it's normally a hug and a kiss on the forehead if we're around a lot of people.
I'm not huge on PDA unless I've been dating my SO for a long time. Even then I keep it pretty minimal, though. I mean, there's no reason to have to watch two people suck face or grab ass in the middle of a crowded room.
I'll admit I've gotten really drunk & made out with a guy in a bar once.. I was mortified the next day, especially since everyone there knew me well.
I don't mind making out with my boyfriend in public. We are a very affectionate couple and we do whatever we feel like doing. We're not obnoxious with it either. The only thing I hate is when he grabs or slaps my butt in public. I think that's too much.
Well, I used to be very anti-pda... then I gained a boyfriend who I just wanted to cuddle all the time so after a while I stopped caring.
when I was in paris, people would just be going at it in the middle of the street. honestly, didn't bother me that much. I think it's totally cultural. my boyf is south american and he's pretty touchy in public, though nothing like I ever saw in france.
http://vexations.xanga.com/765685428/passion-display-in-public-in-prague/
I did this topic a few days ago and your readers may be interested in the responses.
I really hate this question simply because it's just something straight people seem to take for granted. As a gay man if I'm not in a very gay friendly part of town with my boyfriend PDA isn't really an option if I don't want to get death stares from people or heaven forbid attacked. So I've always kind of appreciated what little PDA I can even express with a guy because there are so few places I can do it without fearing for my safety.
My partner gets shameless when we're drunk. But for the most part, it's pretty standard arm on the small of my back, legs touching, etc.
@ninetailedevee@xanga - Move to the bayyyy!
I don't care what others do in public. I think anything that can be done without removing the other person's clothes is ok in public. But there are situations where it does bother me: if I'm hanging out with the couple and they're suddenly too busy making out to pay attention to the rest of us (even though I'll admit I'm guilty of the same), or if I'm interested in one of the people making out and I'm not the one that person is making out with. Then it's just awkward. Where do I look? Is it obvious how uncomfortable I am? If so, how do I hide it? Am I doing a good enough job of hiding it?
i don't like pda in most places. even handholding is a little much for me. at parties clubs or raves though ahahaha. im comfortable with extreme pda