"I like this guy but I don't know if he likes me back." "I want to tell this girl I like her but I don't know how." "How do I ask someone on a date?" "How do I know if he/she/they like me back?"
If these are your issues, this is the article for you...
My favorite author is John Green (pictured above). When asked questions very similar (if not identical) to these,
his advice was simple "use your words."I love this advice. I love it so much that I'm hijacking it and using it for the premise of this post.
I think that we, as a generation, are horrible at communicating with each other. With all our technological advancements, iPhones, Twitters, Facebook messengers and so many other ways to just talk to each other, we still can't seem to communicate. The problem, I think, is this whole "flirting" concept.
We think every single thing we say has to be a perfectly calculated, coy statement that is designed to give away absolutely nothing. And people flirt like it's an Olympic sport (spoiler alert, it's not).
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people who flirt. I just never really got into it as much as everyone else seemed to. I'm a fan of the direct approach, and that's where this advice comes in.
If you're an inexperienced flirt-er, or you just prefer a short, direct way to show your interest in someone,
there's nothing wrong with the old "I think you're pretty cool and I'd like to go out with you sometime."It's concise, to the point, and nothing gets lost in translation. Also, there's a chance your special someone will be so impressed at your boldness they'll just have to say yes and get to know you!
Want more How-To posts? Leave your questions in comments! Source
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Comments (7)
i'm a pretty direct person, myself. for example, i told a girl last night that her outfit made her look like she had the clap. but i think there are better ways to go about asking someone out than what you recommended. in my experience, if you're too direct (in your words when asking someone out) you're more likely to just come on too strong. here's the best way to do things, assuming you just met the person:
guys: don't use the word date. that scares girls. don't say dinner. that scares girls (plus if they say yes, they feel unsexy afterward when they have to fart but don't want to do it around you). don't ask a question, "do you want to x?" that makes them think. don't do anything expensive. you're wasting your money on a girl who is likely just taking you for a ride. go for something super low-key and in an environment where you get to talk. coffee is pretty standard. if you don't drink coffee (i don't), dessert of some kind works well too. god knows there's enough cupcake places in this country to even give a marathon runner diabetes.
that advice is assuming you're not trying to get it in on the first night. if you are, you already know what you're doing and don't need my pearls of wisdom.
girls: don't ask guys out. it will startle and confuse us. i know every guy on here other than me claims that they like it, they don't. we are not accustomed to it and don't know how to react. it's sufficient for you to give some indication that you want to hang out. for example, last weekend i was at a bar and was talking to some chick who, though friendly, didn't seem particularly interested in me. so after some time, i decided to call it quits. i said goodbye, and she said "wait, am i going to see you again?" that was enough to give me the idea. we went out a few days later.
you could also take the carly rae jepsen approach. just don't say "this is crazy". we'll think you've never gone on a date before. that chick is so fucking hot, by the way. holy crap.
you should definitely write more how-to posts, since you offered. this was fun.
With all due respect but to be honest if everyone was that direct (love) life would be pretty boring.
this made me LOL... i wish my hubby had been that direct when asking me out... but, he wasn't.. tho I love him all the more because of it!
In order to ask a woman out, you have to spark attraction with her by being cocky and funny. Otherwise, she'll either say no or she will say yes and then flake out shortly before you're scheduled to meet.
I don't think it's the failure to communicate that gets in the way. Most of the time, I think we're too afraid to be direct because we're too afraid to be turned down.
Although directly
asking someone out works, I think flirting is still a very much important
element in the dating scene. It is a playful exchange between two parties
that allows them to measure whether there is a mutual attraction, while also
finding out more about the compatibility of their personality, level of
intelligence and so on. Once the above checklist has been approved, then it
is advisable to directly ask the person out.