Thursday, 19 July 2012
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Has Anyone Ever Mistakenly Thought You Were Gay?
My entire high school thought that a female best friend and I were dating senior year. I didn't even know about the rumor until late senior spring. Another friend walked by a guy confirming to another that we were "definitely" dating. We definitely weren't.A few weeks ago, I had lunch with another friend from high school. Apparently this was THE rumor of my senior year.
Now, I know high school students like to make up rumors from god-knows-where just because. But in my experience, these rumors also tend to have the tiniest grain of truth to them. So while I don't really care that they thought I was gay, I've always been curious about why.
My friend came out to me as bi a few months after graduation. While I'm a bit bi-curious, I've never had a sexual experience with a woman, and consider myself straight.
This friend and I didn't act any differently from me and my other friends. We weren't particularly physical with each other. We didn't hang out any more or less than I did with any other friends. In fact, I feel that I didn't see her all that much senior spring. Oh, plus I had a boyfriend at the time.
Then again, about half my friend group came out to me as bi once we all arrived in college. So maybe my gaydar just sucks.
Has anybody ever mistakenly thought you were gay? Why?
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- From: sasha
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Comments (36)
Only once, when I was pretending to be a drag queen. I've never been hit on by a woman or mistaken for a lesbian before.
People think I am gay sometimes because I stick up, and think that gay people should be treated equally. That, and I dont like male strippers. (any for that matter)... I am completely straight though, lol.
I've never had anyone mistakenly think I was gay, but when my husband and I first started hanging out and getting to know each other, I mistakenly thought he was gay. I even tried to hook him up with this guy who I knew liked him. Quite a shock to find out that he wasn't actually gay. :D
happens allll the time. or at least, more often than i'd like to admit. girls tell me i'm kind of effeminate, though i wonder why this translates into gay. probably doesn't help that i like top 40 music--call me maybe is my shit right there, by the way--and probably didn't help that i cross-dressed for halloween. one girl at the club asked me "i have a question. are you into boys or girls?" hahaha. usually you only need to see me at a club once to figure things out, though.
this one time, i went on a date with a girl and met up with her friends. when she and i came back to my place, she told me that the reason she wanted her friends to meet me was that she suspected i was gay cause i hadn't made a move on her yet. (the real reason was that i just wasn't that into her. she sealed her fate by doing that.) i didn't want to fuck her, but she started getting pretty "aggressive" if you catch my drift (haha), so i decided i would try something fun: i told her i was a virgin. she immediately said "oh my god, i have to call and tell my friends". no fucking joke. you can't make this shit up. so she put on her coat--she was totally naked otherwise, by the way--and ran into the hallway outside my apartment to call her friends. i could hear through the door: "he's not gay, he's a virgin! it makes so much sense!" i wasn't aware they were the same thing.
i regret even going to first base with that bitch. i feel so dirty thinking about it now. hope i didn't get mouf herpes from her.
the way girls have been pissing me off as of late though, sometimes i kind of wish i was gay so that i wouldn't have to deal with their bullcrap.
It's amazing that an entire high school can be taught to be homophobic.
there's also the bi-till-I-graduate phenomena too
no, but some females have complimented my outfit and said that it was cute
a cocktail waitress suddenly poked me on my side, smiled, and told me that she thinks my jacket is cute
I don't think she's a lesbian, but a straight woman, who just admires me
a middle aged woman told me that she thinks I'm so beautiful
then a really old woman asked me what ethnicity I am because she thinks I'm unique looking
my little cousin loves my hair and says it is pretty and when she grows up, she wants hair like me
females of all ages can't help but loooove me
guys don't really hit on me. they either think I'm a lesbian or that I already have a bf-which is true. most of the time I look aloof
my gay friend thought i was bi or a lesbian. his gaydar sucks really bad so i don't think he counts
It's happened quite a bit. When you're a single guy who's not planning to get into a relationship with women anytime soon, people get funny ideas.
I have a subtle lisp. This one time at a party, I decided to play up my lisp because I already had a few drinks in me and just wanted to have fun. A girl that I met that night asked if I was gay. I then cut off my lisp and told her that I was as straight as a ruler.
As a bisexual, I've learned to simply expect that whenever I am in a relationship with a woman, I will be read as straight, and whenever I am in a relationship with a man, I will be read as gay. It shouldn't be like this but it is, and I've learned to live with it.
Not quite the same as what you're talking about, but similar enough to be worth mentioning I thought.
My mom thought I was gay for a while back in high school. I wasn't really interested in any of the boys around school. I just didn't find any of them appealing,... and my best friend came over a lot. My mom would constantly check up on us when we were watching movies in my room, and she even gave me her "please don't be a lesbian talk" a few times. I'm not gay, but I was rather offended by the talk. There's nothing wrong with being homosexual. She finally calmed down when I got a boyfriend.
I'm not a lesbian nor am I bi-anything, but I have a feeling my sexuality is going to be questioned a lot in my lifetime. Not only am I supportive of equality, I'm not afraid to have homosexual or bisexual characters in my novels. Its a part of life, and its just the way some people (and characters) are. :)
All. The. Time.
Pft, everyone is bi in college. J/K
One of my husband's ex girlfriends initially thought he was gay. Her reasoning? Because he was nice to her. Sad, really.
I had a guy friend ask if I batted "for both teams" and other guys have asked about my sexuality when I've commented on someone's breasts or butt. That's all I'm aware of.
High school rumors were just stupid and most of them probably didn't even get back to me. I didn't worry much about it. I got called a slut and prostitute when I was a virgin. When a graduate died in a car crash there was a (ridiculous) rumor that I caused it using witchcraft - probably not one they took seriously, more of some way to attempt to hurt me, maybe? I'm not sure what that was about. It didn't offend me in any way and it's absolutely absurd. I supposedly had sex with a male friend in Spain. There was an odd bit of things that added up to looking bad, but that was definitely not happening. The biggest thing that made me mad was I suspected who the source of the rumor was, and she claimed to know nothing about it. I found out from him that she was telling people that we'd slept together.
Let's flip. Has anyone ever thought you were straight? Yes. All. The. Time. Try being a young feminine blonde woman who wears dresses and heels. Yes, there are more of us than you think. Open your eyes and broaden your minds. Not all lesbians have buzz cuts and wear men's clothing. I'm tired of coming out to every person I meet. Women don't take me seriously because they assume I'm just bi-curious. There are worse things than a high school rumor that you might be gay. Just sayin.
no one's explicitly told me but i suspect people think i have lesbian tendencies/i'm gay. i have so many hot celebrity crushes (ok just lindsay lohan and the rest are more "feminine elegance" admirations- marian cotilliard, kiera knightley, natalie portman, emma watson, etc). i'm into fashion so i'm obsessed with certain models and their AMAZING FEATURES!! i always call girls hot/admire their bodies (not boobs/butt but legs, collarbones, cheekbones, long torsos... ) but never really notice guys. it's actually more because i'm shy around that kind of stuff/not really that sexual of a person. i literally NEVER think guys are physically hot. it's usually their personalities i'm attracted to. i'm completely straight but definitely do not show it--i show the opposite quite openly. it's weird.
i've kissed a few girls in my life lolll but those were drunken moments of "wtf?" ... i only really get into it with guys! i've only ever liked/been into guys but i'm just open about all of my thoughts i guess hahha.
Meh, I wouldn't worry about it. A rumor went around when I was in 9th grade about me being pregnant, and I was a virgin at the time - not an ounce of truth to that rumor.
There have been people that thought I was gay...but they were right hahaha
Ya, my best friend thinks im a lesbian or bi. It started out with making hints, and then comments like "i love you no matter what" until finally blatantly suggesting that i didnt like guys and when i said i am FOR SURE into guys, she then asked if i was bi. I dont really know why except maybe because ive been single my whole life, as in no boyfriend, virgin etc.. so maybe she thinks that i dont date guys because im not attracted to them? but in reality its the opposite; i very much want a guy, the guys just never seem to want me.
But then again i think it might be because my best friend and her other friend who i used to hang out with everyday in high school were bisexual and later got intimate after high school so maybe she thinks i must have been doing stuff with them back in the day? I never did.
But when i seriously think about it, i guess i would consider myself bi-curious, as in i think it'd be cool to hook up with a girl. But not in a "i wanna get into a relationship" kind of way but more of a "scratch that off my bucket list" type of thing so maybe that's what she's picking up on but i dont know. i'll ask the next time we meet to catch up for sure, now that ive gotten myself all puzzled up.
A girl thought I was gay because I never asked her out or hit on her.
When I had really short hair, a couple of men thought I was gay. It was only older men though- I got more random compliments from young men on my pixie haircut than anything else.
I spent most of my life wondering why women seem so attracted to me. I've only recently been diagnosed with asperger's, and I'm about as asexual as it gets. Is it like the Mr. Spock syndrome?
Yep. I had a rumor going around school about it too. And all because this chick stuck a note in my desk in 8th grade! People thought she was going somewhere else for some reason...
But, I ended up being a bisexual soon after. Go figure, right? Took me a while to get that out in the open, but, I did that by having a girlfriend, and walking around the halls holding her hand proudly. 
Reading through some of the comments, it's occurred to me that many people take it as an insult when they are mistaken for being gay. I'm gay, and when I'm mistaken for being straight (on the odd occasions when my body language defies my intentions) I don't get offended.
People have an internal criteria for how they label and identify certain things. For some people, that list is really very short and superficial. It should be more of an insult to that person's observation skills than anything else, when they get someone's sexuality incorrect.