Wednesday, 18 July 2012
I've was on Xanga for a long time, but I shut it down because my boyfriend whom became my husband and is about to be my ex-husband, didn't want me to be on it. Anyway, after one year of marriage, we're now getting divorced. The reasons are that he stopped talking to me about any and all feelings... I couldn't get anything out of him. Lately, I've felt like I'm the only half in this marriage who's still in love and the only one who still tries to reach out and talk.
We were together for 7 years before getting married. I'm 23 and he's now 24 going on 25. We started to fight about the silliest things and these fights soon turned into huge fights. When we'd fight, he'd leave me to go hang out with his friends. Lately, all he does is hang out with friends and comes back home in the middle of the night or even sometimes in the morning.
I felt so lonely all the time; I feel like I can't get the love or care that I need from him. I was so sad and disappointed, so one night after he came home from hanging out, I tried talking to him. I asked him to sit down and talk to me, but he clearly refused and kept at it so I brought up the idea of getting a divorce. He replied like he didn't care and as if he loved the idea, so I called my parents to pick me up.
Before leaving, we got into a big fight where we hit and beat each other. He told me to consider myself divorced.
My dad told me getting divorced was for the best, especially since I had been verbally and physically abused before by him. I don't know how we reached this point; I don't know how this could happen to people who used to be so much in love. Divorcing is the last thing that I would have wanted, but I'm left with no other choices. My heart is really aching.
What's weird is the moment I stepped out of the door, he blocked me from What's App, Instgram, Twitter, Facbook, email, etc... and changed all his passwords as if he had already planned for all of this even before I left.
Please, give me your advice. I just don't know what to do next or how to act. Should I just start to move on while I know I'm still in love? I feel so betrayed.