"Online dating" doesn't just apply to match.com anymore. My friends and I have all dated people we've met on Tumblr, Facebook, Myspace, Livejournal (oh gosh, Livejournal, may you rest in peace) and various other social media platforms. In every single case of this happening our parents and/or guardians were not happy with the situation (even when we all became adults and in charge of our own decisions and whatnot).
I've always found myself more comfortable with people I've met online,
A. because I know that I have things in common with them before we start talking and B. it puts pressure off me to be funny and amazing on-the-spot in person the first time to ensure they continue talking to me. (I don't do well on-the-spot, hence why I write blogs and don't do improv comedy or something.)
I like having time to think about what I'm going to type, and create a charming façade to cover my "awkwardness" up with.I've come to the conclusion (after much data collection) that people who I meet online make better friends and better significant others, because they generally have similar core personality traits.
They don't mind if I don't talk to them for two or three days at a time.
They don't mind that my definition of "hanging out" is, for the most part, sitting and blogging together in the same room while on gmail chat. They think it's cute when I reblog something they've posted with an adorable or hilarious comment.
Unfortunately, my parental unit is very old-school about dating, and still firmly believe that the Internet was created by Satan for pedophiles and kidnappers to congregate on. So, the fact that I met my significant other online is something that is hard for me to explain to someone who thinks the Internet is inherently evil and possibly inhabited by the devil.
As I've grown older, I've just stopped sharing where I've met people altogether, as it is generally easier for everyone involved if they go into a meeting-the-parents situation without preconceived thoughts of oh-my-god-they're-from-the-Internet-they-must-be-rapists involved.
What about you, have you dated people you've met online? How did your family take it? Did you tell them?Image source
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Comments (35)
the only people i've met from the interwebs are from okcupid. i'm not on facebook, and i don't think i'd ever meet someone from xanga. except my xanga crush maybe <3
on a related note, i don't talk to anyone from okc for more than maybe 5 messages (preferably 3) before we meet in real life. i did that once--only because the girl was on vacation for like a week and a half--and our messages just got drawn out and awkward. she seemed okay in her messages, but in real life she had her issues. she's the worst girl i've ever dated.
i also messaged a girl once and offered to meet after 3-4 messages. she said "sure, but my semester ended, and i'm going back to california for the next month. here's my email and phone number, hope we can continue getting to know each other!" (this was right before i swore off cali girls). so i sent her an email, and after she responded, i said "hey so...i'd rather just wait till you get back and meet in person. if we talk everyday for a month, we're just going to build each other up to be something we're not." (my message was a little longer and more tactful.) she didn't respond, and when i checked on her a month later, she said "i'm not interested, other guys kept in touch with me and i want to reward them for their efforts." like she's a fucking kindergarten teacher or something. 7 months later, she's still on there, so looks like one of us was right...and it wasn't her.
Nope.
my mom still doesn't understand how the internet works. she tells me to go on there when it is open to help her find something. I tell her that the internet is open 24 hours in which she is like
and said, "they don't sleep???
" she said that I don't have to get the internet because she watched hsn and they said that wireless is included(it is already setup, so you don't have to go through a wizard or anything and automatically detects the signal) I tried to explain to her that I still have to subscribe to an internet service to get the internet, but she got really mad, because she said that they clearly said that wireless is included
ayiyiyi! but I'm glad that she's oblivious and naive about the internet. however, she knows about porn
she was curious and wanted to watch porn and I told her that I don't watch porn. she got mad again and said, "you pay so much money for the internet and you can't see anything?!
" I told her that there's a bunch of stuff to see besides porn. she knows that you can chat with people online. she asked me, "who is that guy? he doesn't eat or sleep and is crazy to talk to you!" she thinks that people don't eat or sleep because the internet is open 24hrs as if the guy works there
I don't think that I'd tell my family. they won't understand.
You can meet a lot of amazing people online but you still need to be careful of who you're talking to. I met my boyfriend online and we've been dating for over a year :) My parents really don't understand but that's their problem. As long as i'm happily in love, nothing else matters.
I met my boyfriend online over 4 years ago. My mom really likes his, but thought he was a drug dealer at first because he picked me up in a couple different cars (his families).. Then again, she is always quick to judge literally anyone. I feel bad for my sisters.. I only had to live with my mom when I was in 12th grade, they have always been with her and will probably not have friends when they are older :/
I met my now boyfriend online and we're pretty happy. I met him through OKCupid. To be honest we don't tell ANYONE that we met online, we just say we met at a dance ;D which isn't exactly a lie.
Glad I don't have this problem. My mom met her husband on the Internet 15 years ago...she lives in America and he lived in Denmark!
Meeting people online is great, but of course, you have to be careful!
Its funny, my moms the one who does all her dating online and im concerned about her haha.
If I met someone online I probably would not avertise it. But yes I would do it.
I've met my first love online, and also met my current hubby-to-be online. The first one was years ago, and my parent were okay with it, after they met him and saw he wasn't a rapist. It wasn't something I advertised to others, because it was still frowned upon. 7 years later, I met my fiance, which is about a year and a half ago, and people are more open minded about it, so I have no qualms about telling people where I've met him. Most people are really curious and enthusiastic about it, and a minority of people still frowns. I'm at a point where I don't really care anymore what other people think though.
I just recently blogged about this.
I've dated a couple people I met online..and of course my mom freaked out when I told her, and she automatically decided that she hated them. The relationship doesn't really work when your mother is constantly in your business messing everything up.
I met the guy I'm dating now in a bar, through a friend. She likes him better, but only because I met him in person first.. I'm waiting for the moment she decides she hates him too.
A childhood friend actually married a guy that she met on geek2geek.com.. after about a year of dating. He was her first kiss.. For some people it works.
I met my boyfriend online :) We met online about four-five years ago and we were friends for about four and a half years before anything "happened" in a romantic sense.
I didn't meet my husband online, but our entire courtship was online. The internet is a tool, nothing else. I mean, pedophiles use polaroid cameras and teddy bears also, but those aren't considered to be created by the devil. If your family can't get that, I wouldn't worry too much about what they think. They aren't rational.
I'm actually with the person I met online eight years ago. We immediately fell for each other, but couldn't date since he was in a relationship at the time. We finally got the opportunity last year, and nothing has been the same since. I knew he and I were best friends, but never was I able to imagine something so beautiful and perfect. I'm personally thankful for social networking, for without it, I wouldn't have ever met my best friend.
Oh, Facebook. I've met a lot of suitors on Facebook. Guys would messge me, we would talk for a few days, and then they would ask for my number. That led to text messaging and possible phone calls. If I liked how things were going, then I'd agree to meet them in person. On the other hand, I met a lot of people through friends as well. My current boyfriend requested me on Facebook and I randomly messaged him because it said he went to the same college I did, so I was curious (and he was cute, haha). After that we exchanged BBM pins and eventually met in person and hit it off
Yay!
To finally answer your question, yes I've dated people I've met through Facebook.
My parents didn't care because they met almost everyone I went out on dates with. It was their rule.
I think it only works if you're genuine about yourself online. I would be sorely disappointed to click with someone online and not have it work out later because he was way smoother online than in real life.
I'm too awkward in real life. Most of my friends are from the internet. My current SO was from a dating site. My family wasn't as mad about me meeting her through the internet as they were about her being a her.
Never met anyone online in person, although when I was 14 I thought I was in love with this dude I met through xanga. We lived too far a distance away so nothing ever came of it. A year or so later he told me he had a boyfriend and gave me far too many details of their sex adventures -_0. lol.
Other than that I haven't really had anything. If single I think it would be fun/exciting to meet someone for a fling or something, but no point in trying something serious with someone states away.
My father met his new wife on the net! He's American and she's Australian. He's much happier with her than he ever was with my mother, it's clear every time I see them together. I've never dated someone I met online, but my BFF in the entire world I met on a writing website. She's literally the other half of me and she's more like a sister. I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything. It's weird to think I wouldn't have met this incredible person if not for the Internet!
never dated anyone from online but have met some friends and it went well.
my last 2 boyfriends I met online (nexopia) and neither was that substantial. I just started on Okcupid and have gone on a few dates with one guy, although i dunno how that's gonna turn out. I honestly would rather date someone after getting to know them as friends (or getting sex out of the way soon... maybe that's my OKC guy issue right now!) and then dating, and doesn't matter if we meet online or in person before this all happens.
I met my first boyfriend when I was 13 through a message board and he was 15. It was awkward telling my parents, but they invited him and his family to come over for my birthday (he lived in Virginia, and visited his dad who lived near me every three weeks). And I was super embarrassed to tell anyone else. But since then, my parents just kinda go with it since it was happening a lot and I've started caring less what people thought of how I met people. They knew I hung out with some online friends when I was 15, they let me go off with friends from online when I visited their college when I was 16, and didn't give me too much flack for flying across the country to stay with an online friend for 10 days. The only thing they were understandably worried about was when I started hanging out with this 21 year old when I was 17 who I first met online. Then they met him when I took him to my senior prom.
My friend met his wife through Yahoo chat or something like that. They'd spent a few years talking before they met in person, and he was 21 when they got married.
@biggirlsdontcriyiyiyi@xanga - I'm sorry. :( I hope it got better. I did chuckle at your comment though because I somehow knew the ending before I read it.