Recently one of my friends has come to me with the following problem:
Her best friend is in a serious relationship and will not accept the fact that she wants to be single. The rate at which she tries to set her up with guys is about one to three a month, and she frequently says things like "Oh let me find you a nice guy" or "So, when are you getting a boyfriend? You should let me help!"
Personally, I find this to be a gross invasion of privacy, but my friend just shrugged it off and generally makes excuses not to go on these dates, because she thinks the attempts are good-natured and her heart is in the right place.
I view the situation in a manner similar to this: To people who obsess over their friends' relationship statuses,Please relax. Unless the relationship is becoming a danger, or there is an active request for you to become involved, you need to back off. Dating/single/engaged/keeping it casual/whatever your friends choose to be, you need to accept it. Maybe you're not at similar points in your lives, but that's OK. It's seriously going to be OK. You need to calm down.Sincerely, People who just want to live their own lives.
I find that, in general, people like to have friends that are at the same stages they are in relationships, i.e. if someone is single they want their friends to be single also so they can go out and have fun together, but if someone is in a relationship then they want their friends to be likewise involved so they can go out on double dates or talk about similar relationship issues.
In my opinion, as great as it is to have something similar to chat about, this proves to be a huge problem when wanting this situation starts to put pressure on one or both parties in a friendship.
My advice to the friend in question was this:
She needed to sit down with this girl and calmly explain to her that although she appreciated the sentiment, she would no longer be requiring her match-making services.
I'm sure the friend in question didn't realize she was making my friend uncomfortable with these attempts, so there was no need to get unnecessarily nasty or accusatory. However, if she ever wanted to be in a healthier stage in the friendship, something had to be said immediately.
Personally, I would have stopped hanging out with this girl long ago, but that's probably not the healthiest decision, so talking-it-out it was!
What advice would you have given? Have you ever had anyone unnecessarily concerned with your relationship status? Did you tell them to back off, or just accept the situation?
Let me know in comments!Image source