Looking to heal a broken, or falling appart relationship? The answer may well be to stop having sex. Or at least, sex as we know it. Karezza, from the Italian word carezza, meaning caress, is the new "sex" technique circulating in the world of sex psychology. Karezza puts emphasis on hugging and touching and takes any idea of orgasm out the picture.
But do you think "no sex" is the way to get that sparkle back in your relationship? And who says it works anyway?
ABCNews interviewed Deb Feintech, a counselor from Maine, uses karezza with her patients ... and you might be surprised by the sex that's most in favor of come-less sex.
"The people most interested are men. It's very radical for them, but they are finding the emotional intimacy far outweighs any of the thrill of the chase and the mating mind."
Not sure I've met a man like this before, but I'm intrigued. The idea behind karezza is not reaching the sex "finishing line" of orgasm, therefore maintaining sexual energy and interest in your partner. Relationships start failing when even the kinkiest sex gets "ordinary," so karezza makes sex as kink-less as possible.
So is it not just endless foreplay? Well, kind of. There's a lot of listening to each others heartbeats, spooning, lying silently for 30 minutes in each others arms and eye gazing. All the stuff that you might forget to do when you've been with someone for a while.
I don't know how "groundbreaking" karezza is, but its a pleasant reminder of the kind of stuff you should never let fall out of your relationship, no matter how busy you are, or how comfortable your relationship is.
What do you think of karezza as a concept? Is it just kind of chill foreplay? Do you need to orgasm to be satisfied with sex?Image Source
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Comments (26)
It almost sounds like a BLT without the B.
Huh, when I was reading what it entailed, it reminded me of what we used to do... how sweet and "iinnocent" it all was. Now there's kinky outfits and dirty sex... so it has gone far from worse. lol. But I do miss that sweetness... Maybe I ought bring up this idea. lol.
Keeping sex about intimacy rather than just exclusively the soulless orgasm manufacturing process it has become in many circles is actually a really good idea for both partners. You should still have orgasms, though. It's good for you too.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - I do love coming home to the bacon. Mmmm.
My husband and I spend some doing just this when I'm in my fertile phase of the month, as long as we're avoiding pregnancy. Sometimes we just use a condom during that time, but other times we like to just focus on the non-intercourse aspects of our intimacy during that time. It does change things up, and probably one of the things that keeps our relationship so healthy
Yeah, I think I used to do this back in middle school. It was awful then too!
The boyfriend and I do this already. I didn't know there was an actual name for it.
That sounds nice for sometimes I guess. Well, I say that because I"m pregnant, and while I don't want to miss out on sexy time totally, it is uncomfortable in the 3rd trimester! I could see also during fertile time of the month if you're doing fertility awareness, or just for something different. Not all that revolutionary of an idea, but a good reminder
it doesn't always or often have to be sexual foreplay. my guy gives me surprise gifts, sweet notes, and we do other things to pamper one another. then we feel so appreciated that we are in a great mood, and naturally, it'll more more pleasant sexually. so then your s.o. doesn't just feel like a piece of meat and that sex is routine, because your s.o. treats you well and continuously shows his/her appreciation everyday in countless other ways. I thought that I was selfish, but I didn't realize it until my s.o. told me that I actually made him feel important with the things that I do, and that's because I naturally like doing little things for whoever that I like that it doesn't seem like a task or something that I should do. my guy keeps telling me that I'm the first woman that has ever done something like that for him. really?! I think maybe sometimes people are so oblivious or ungrateful that they don't appreciate what they have, so even if they were treated wonderfully before, they are too dumb to see it or just plain out don't care, and that's because they aren't compatible or they have issues of their own. come to think of it, I don't really have lots of sex in my relationship, yet we're both still happy. we're sexual beings and horny a lot lol but most of the time, we joke around and have a great time just talking to each other and my overall cuteness has overwhelmed him so much that I think he might've secretly shed a teardrop when he thinks about it. he said that I've given him a new experience of relationships. I act my age, but I also act like all other ages, too. so my relationship is like a back to the future ride, is what I think he's saying
one moment we're talking to each other with cute stuffed animal voices and the next time we might be dirty talking, not consecutively on the same day though-that would be creepy. then he's randomly singing in a tenor voice while he is peeing. or I rant to him about something while I give the people in question funny nicknames. I tell him that I bought something and then it gets sexy
show and tell adult version time
so the sparkle consists of all things unrelated to sex, but no excluding sexual content. so sex without an orgasm isn't bad, but not great. however, a relationship with mostly sex and orgasms, but not much else to balance it out or spice things up, might still be good depending if you think sex is very important, which is your preference, but not to me. I like orgasms, but I also need other types of creative stimulation
my guy makes me feel so good and it isn't mainly due to orgasms that I always have an urge to get naked when I think about him or I'm around him because I feel so comfortable around him. it is in his favor to pamper me
and vice versa
with other guys in my past, I desired them and liked them, but I didn't really feel an overwhelming urge to have sex with them, because I wasn't really feeling it although I did feel something, but it wasn't enough. yep, my expectations are so high that my guy had to hitch a ride on a cloud to chase me, because I'm at my princess castle in the sky
I melt myself with my adorableness
laterz. time to catch some ZzzZzz!
Come osano rubano la lingua del mio popolo.
interesting. i'm not sure how interested my husband would be in not orgasming but i've never NEEDED an orgasm to enjoy sex. my favorite part of sex is the intimacy.
It's a great way to create oxytocin, which will make the couple feel happy and bonded.
That's what the bf and I do every time we have sex. He cares more about how I'm enjoying it than coming himself (: and vice versa
Considering I don't have orgasms when I have sex, anyway, sounds good to me. I like all the touching and caressing.
Isn't that called cuddling? Caressing? Nothing new.
Oh jeez, it's intimacy. It's an integral part of a relationship. It shouldn't be instead of, rather as well as, other forms of sex.
Of course guys are more interested in orgasmless sex, they can have an orgasm so easy that it means nothing to them after awhile.
I feel like I'd giggle through the whole thing because it sounds incredibly awkward to hold eye contact for 30 minutes or whatever. I like habitual things so plain ole sex every night is no big deal.
There's no way my husband would go for this. I can hardly get decent foreplay. *le sigh*
I really only commented to say that it's weird you posted about this today because I truly had never heard of it until yesterday.
@BlehhItsTu@xanga - It includes intentionally avoiding any orgasm whatsoever during intercourse and is not just cuddling. You're not even supposed to let it build up to where you get close. If you start heading that way, you're supposed to back off or stop completely. It's not new but it's not popular (at least in the U.S.), either.
I think the best part about this is that it puts emphasis on intimacy versus just sex.
if I needed an orgasm to feel satisfied...I would be in a bad position...I have only ever had an orgasm during sex on our honeymoon...and that was almost 7 years ago...
Yeah, we do this. I guess. It sounds like it's just cuddling and hanging out in bed. Doesn't everyone do that? What are weekend mornings for? You should still have real sex though. Yeah, I guess I can see how this would solve problems in relationships that started with and for the purpose of jacking each other off. It's kind of sad that it's prevalent though.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - That made me snort. :DNo sex would make everything worse in our relationship, bad bad bad idea!
I think this most definitely could be effective. I mean, it's intimate & sweeter than sugar. If your man NEEDS to get his rocks off to be able to stay with you, he's not the one for you in the first place. I mean, climaxing is amazing though, but we all sometimes forget the softer sides of things in our relationships which could sometimes actually lead to your relationship falling apart.
No thanks. I'll pass.
Orgasms. Yes.