Monday, 09 July 2012
So, my friends have a habit of coming to me for advice on certain situations, that most would take to their therapist. But I guess I'm the closest thing they'd ever get to one, so they take my "no charge" policy and use it to their complete advantage.
Recently, I went to see a movie and went for lunch with one of them, who's younger than myself. She usually has a lot to say and always wants feedback on how she should deal with certain situations. But, this one she brought to my attention...I must say, threw me for a loop.
Here's the issue: She seems to have another friend, whom we don't share, that recently broke up with her long-term boyfriend. We'll call her friend...Renee and the ex-boyfriend, Jonathan. Okay? Good! So Jonathan, who also knows Renee's friend, we'll call her Summer, has been slyly pursuing her. Summer told Renee, but surprisingly made no qualms about possibly giving into his advances.
Let's be clear though, she didn't simply come to Renee and say, "Jonathan's asked me out and I'm thinking about saying yes." She asked Renee what she THOUGHT about her going out with Jonathan.
Now, I'm aware you may need a little bit of a back story on Jonathan and Renee to really come to a conclusion on how you feel about this situation. So here it goes!
Renee, Jonathan and Summer all go to the same college. Though they don't all hang out, one could say they're acquaintances as a threesome. But, Renee and Summer are pretty close on their own, minus Jonathan. As freshman, Renee and Jonathan started a relationship that soon turned to be one that was off and on for two years; eventually, that led to their breakup. Summer, being the friend, knows all the ups and downs of their relationship and why it came to end. Which brings us to the current issue at hand.
I was sitting, eating my turkey burger, listening to my friend explain this three car pile up, in awe. All the while, scattered scenes from the movie "Something Borrowed" kept replaying in my head. Rachel and Dex having this attraction to one another all throughout college, but neither of them having the courage to speak up about it. But, when things took a fatal turn and Rachel's best friend, Darcy, ends up with Dex, all of a sudden Rachel and Dex find their voices.
If you've seen the film, you know exactly what I'm speaking of. Though, this seems like a different situation, I couldn't help but to tell my friend, "You know this isn't something that just happened right?" She looked at me, because her intent was to get my feedback on how she should tell her friend to handle it. But I honestly didn't know what to tell her, other than to drop them both as "friends."
I mean let's be honest. You're in a relationship with someone for two years and the sun hasn't even set from your post-break-up and your supposed "friend" is asking if she can go out with him? This has clearly been going on under your nose the entire time. Even if it wasn't, she shouldn't have had the audacity to even consider his request if she was a real friend.
Now, no offense to the men, but this I expect from them. They don't take the "code" as seriously as women do. But regardless...IT IS A CODE! You don't date an ex of your friend. Period!
I may be the only one who feels this way and please tell me if I am. But if you were Renee, what thoughts would you have about the whole situation? Is girl code one to live by? Or are there not enough single and straight men in the world to even give it a second thought? SOUND OFF!