Sunday, 08 July 2012
Hey, you over there. You say you work out to look after your heart and lungs? I’m calling BS. When I go out pounding the pavements every day health is on the back burner (and I’m a Division 1 athlete!), and looking sexy (as much as it is ever possible) is right at the top of my vein ladder of priorities. So is it me and the skipping man from ecards on our own here, or does everyone else harbor the same dirty workout laundry?
I love the feeling of being able to run fast, but it’s totally outweighed by being able to fit into skinny jeans. Here’s my points for why working out to look sexy is more important than health for many people. I’m sure some disagree, but either way, listen to a bit of Ida Marie while your going through the list.
1) Time Spent: Would I really workout most days of the year for an hour if I could maintain the same weight by jogging for 20 minutes once a week? Absolutely not. Sure, I enjoy the fresh air, when its not a disgusting 100 degrees outside, but there’s no way I’d do it if I really had a choice in the matter.
2) Gym Membership: Now don’t get me wrong, I know people who live for the gym and love the gym. But I’m a firm believer that gyms, in the majority of cases, are just glorified storage containers for burnt calories and exercise haters. The number of people I hear saying they’re only there because they hate sport, but want to lose weight, backs up my premise.
3) Correlation between Facebook Statuses about Gym and Take Out: Every so often I get a glut of updates along the lines of “Just got tanked at the gym, going to smash my face with pizza.” There’s no way that’s health conscious. Here, the gym is being used, fairly enough, as a “calorie burning storage container,” so a guy can maintain a 6 pack and eat shit food guilt free. There’s nothing healthy about scoffing a whole pizza after a workout, but there’s definitely something sexy about still managing to look good after doing it.
4) People smoking the minute they get out the gym: So we all know that cigarettes are a cheeky little appetite suppressant, which also do untold damage to your lungs. We also know that one of the “pretend” motivations for exercise is healthy lungs. Yip, definite conflict of interest here. Points for wanting to be sexy by using any means possible: fumes and running.
5) Same goes for Diet Coke: Best way to refresh my body after a hard workout? Water? No chance, although water’s the healthy way to go. Diet Coke is the drink of choice for many people I see heading out the gym. The fact its full of aspartame (a terrible chemical), is completely outweighed by its calorie free food lable. Hydrating to be healthy? Not today.
6) Good Skin, or Be Slim: I know a lot of people whose workouts give them bad skin. I also happen to be one of the afflicted. But would I give up a slimmer waist for a clearer complexion. Not a chance. Who cares about my skins health, it’s my butt people can see from a distance.