Saturday, 07 July 2012
As a self-proclaimed "2" (in reality maybe a 2.5) I have dated tens of different types of guys, all with mixed results, none of which contingent on whether or not he was hotter than me (they mostly were, but I digress).
Rating someone based on their looks and comparing yourself to them is not a healthy way to start out a relationship.
Also, who gets to decide on this scale? Wouldn't your particular taste in potential dates bias your rating quite a bit? Gosh, if I had control of the scale, skinny hipster guys with dark hair would be the new "10." (Yeah, I'm that kind of girl.) But just because you think someone is "hot" doesn't mean that someone else, or even the "hot" person in question, thinks they are. So don't worry about it.
Something else that bothers me is people making excuses for not dating someone because they're "out of their league." Are you playing softball? No. You're just going to coffee. So calm down with the comparisons.
One of my friends once told me that "Maybe it was a 'reach' " to go out with a guy I liked at the time. Yeah, he was pretty darn good-looking, but, personally, I was flabbergasted. Wasn't she the one who constantly told me how I was 'too good' for that dude who didn't call (there were a lot of dudes who didn't call, so she said that quite a bit)?
After always building me up, she was now suggesting I couldn't date someone because they were better looking than me? Yeah, she was. I was pissed. (Here's a tip, if you're someone's friend, don't tell them this sort of thing. If you think you're being nice and helpful, you're not. You're being a judgmental butt.)
If the only reason you're not asking someone out, or accepting an invitation to go out, is that you think they're hotter than you, you're just making excuses, and you should have some guts and say yes.
If the gap between you and them really bothers you, focus on the positive. Find something you're ridiculously better at than them (be it dancing, changing tires, calculus, what have you) and just think about how much they suck at it the next time you feel insecure. It'll work like a charm.
Have any of you had a problem with this? What side were you on? Have friends given you crap about dating someone rated either significantly lower or higher? Let me know!